2008-11-18, 05:43
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Senior Metalhead
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Join Date: Jan 2005
Location: Brooklyn, CT
Posts: 107
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An Eternity Deviod
This is my first time posting in this section, and I feel this set of lyrics needs a preface so it's more easily understood. My band is currently working on a concept album and this happens to fall about halfway through the story, but I feel it's a strong piece none the less. Prior to the begining of these lyrics a man has discovered the secret to immortality through a series of scientific studies and has kept that secret to himself. He's watched the final human other than himself die and has tried everything possible to kill himself and reverse his experiments but has just come to accept he's never going to die regardless of what he does. Now that's a very brief generalized description but it pretty well should have you all up to speed haha. Think Spawn of Possession for overall feel of the music.
Science was the answer
I lay awake
Dreams of sanity
But it's to late I am insane
Emotion boils over
For this eternity
I'll be deviod of humanity
(chorus1)
Never ending turmoil
It shouldn't have been like this, We should have all lived
Now I must grieve
For all eternity
I am the final human wasted not wasting
(chorus2)
Empty
In this reality where I lived I should've died
But I survive
Empty
Tormented by my choice to never die
Still I survive
Raped
Of all humanity and all that was inside of me, an eternity deviod
Trapped in an endless cycle of cataclysmic motion
Loss
Of my mortality no more human emotion, an eternity deviod
Self induced purgatory is all that's left for me
The only human that is left
A secret I should not have kept
To carry on eternaly
Wishing to fufill my last dream
my dream's to die
My dreams in vain
No human contact
This immortal contract sickens me
Now unfazed by all emotion
Deprivation
Is no way to live yet I cannot die
Chorus 1
chorus 2
Won't somebody set me free...
There's nobody
I'm trapped for eternity
There's nobody
Wish that I had never been
There's nobody
Framed by Immortality
Never to be
Gone
Last edited by ExhumedCarcass : 2008-12-16 at 14:03.
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2008-11-19, 20:02
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dsnt trust ne1 < 30
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Join Date: Jan 2003
Location: Home is where the <3 is
Posts: 8,881
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It's not bad. It has high and low spots, but these 2 lines bugged me because one contradicts the other.
"This immortal contract sickens me
Now unfazed by all emotion"
Thanks for the explanation of the album. This does elude to that idea so you're on the right track.
__________________
My eldest son's bipolar website: www.bipolarmanifesto.com
-wally: Mom, you shouldn't play after me because it makes you sound even worse than you already do. -wally:*grumbles and whispers quietly* I guess it's cuz I love you or something, but you're still a TURD
Grimm:I could read your mind but its in font size .5
Amadeus:Oh, and was there a cesserole (never mind spelling) involved?
Paddy:the fact that you didn't end up on a kids show makes me question my atheism
Dyldo: You evil strumpet!
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2008-11-19, 20:16
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Senior Metalhead
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Join Date: Jan 2005
Location: Brooklyn, CT
Posts: 107
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Looking at that line now sickens me haha I'm going to take out the "unfazed by all emotion" and find something else to fit. In context to the music the two lines don't 100% correspond to each other it's more broken up into 3 lines per message if that makes sence but I didn't end up taking the song where I had planned to after writing that line and made his emotions still strong throughout instead of dying out. Thank you very much for the input, I'll be sure to let everyone here know as soon as we've finished recording the song(we just finished the drum tracks for it).
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2008-12-16, 05:35
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Senior Metalhead
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Join Date: Jan 2005
Location: Brooklyn, CT
Posts: 107
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My band now has the song up on our myspace. Link in sig.
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2008-12-16, 06:28
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Attorney at Bird Law
Forum Leader
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Join Date: May 2002
Location: Alone here, with emptiness, eagles, and snow...
Posts: 3,567
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It's "devoid", not "deviod". You should fix that, because you have an interesting concept, and incredibly annoying misspellings will prevent people from taking it seriously. As for the concept, I smiled as I read it, because I can't tell you how many times I've pondered the paradox of immortality in both daydreams and night dreams. I'm sure most people have, and thusly can relate to the main character.
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Trust in god, he'll give you shoes!
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2008-12-16, 14:04
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Senior Metalhead
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Join Date: Jan 2005
Location: Brooklyn, CT
Posts: 107
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Fixed haha. Thanks.
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2008-12-20, 03:42
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New Blood
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Join Date: Dec 2008
Location: UK, Wiltshire
Posts: 13
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Unphased not fazed
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2008-12-20, 03:50
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Attorney at Bird Law
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Join Date: May 2002
Location: Alone here, with emptiness, eagles, and snow...
Posts: 3,567
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No, it's unfazed. Phase is a different word.
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