Roll up roll up, get yer abortions! Abortions here, cheap 'n' easy abortions! As cheap 'n' easy as your pussy apparently is! Judge not lest ye be judged, that's our motto! Get that flipper-child outta your uterus before it grows up and steals my car!

The computer store got back to me - they're letting me return the 8800GTX! BEEZER! I secretly hope they can't repair it and have to give me a refund, because the 8800GTX has been discontinued so no replacement will be possible, and I could get 3 much better cards for the same price haha. I'm not sure if it works that way, or if I'd get the full amount back, but a man can dream.

Kane & Lynch is a third-person shooter, loosely based on the movie Heat. The original was a let down and was panned by critics, so much so that a negative review for it on GameSpot.com got the reviewer fired. The sequel looks like a vast improvement, and it's made in a sort of shaky camcorder style which is interesting. Check dem shits out, son.

You can call your new joint "You Fuck 'Em, We Suck Em!"

I'll be honest, I probably won't ever play it, but I'll certainly watch videos on youtube.

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I sent the card back for repair, and they are instead refunding the entire £331 ($528). Holy fuck this is the best day of my life. I can get a card which is twice as good for half the price, and I'll have plenty left over to spend on my midget production of Schindler's List. A handjob from a monkey in a hat couldn't make this shit any better.

Man, trying to choose a new card is both exciting and frustrating. I CAN'T DECIDE!!! What a lovely state of affairs.

EDIT: I think I may go for this beast:

http://www.dabs.com/products/xfx-at...ames--7288.html

3 free games, too! Not sure if I'll spend this much, but I think I should because it's not likely I'll have the opportunity to do so ever again haha. 1GB of RAM; fuck me that's pleasant

I almost got that card with the first computer I was looking at. That's a good deal, especially with those games.

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Fo' shizzle me timbers! I can't wait to get this baby up and running, especially when so many potentially great games are being released over the next month or two.

Speaking of which, the Mafia II demo has been released. I watched my brother play it on his PS3; it looks promising. The PC version of the demo is available on Steam:

http://store.steampowered.com/app/50130/

Crysis 2 has been pushed back to February 2011, which is fucking depressing. Still, this is one game I'm certain is worth waiting for.

I finally sucked it up and got a Steam account like the rest of my friends. got a game called alien swarm, free and kinda fun.

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I only got a Steam account because the Half-Life games and their spin-offs require it, but the holiday sales are fucking great! I bought some of my favourite (and previously pirated) games for about £2/$3 during the Christmas and Summer sales, and the RRP of the games I bought were like £25/$40.

A lot of people complain about Steam's DRM and the like, but I've never had a problem with it and I've got about 30 - 40 games in my account. I don't mind DRM as long as I never see it and it never interferes with my gaming, and Steam behaves itself pretty well in that respect (obviously this doesn't apply to games which ship with their own Draconian DRM, like Assassin's Creed II). My only real gripe with the whole digital distribution system is that you can't resell your games second-hand, and you can't even give them away (that is, you can't transfer your license to another person's account). So, keep that in mind when you're thinking of buying a game you might not like all that much.

I'm still waiting for my refunded money to appear in my account so I can buy the 5850, I've been checking it every 15 minutes for 2 days haha. Fuck me it's like Christmas but even more irritating. As soon as I get it I'm crankin' up Crysis, GTA IV/EFLC and Red Faction: Guerrilla and seeing how much she can handle!

I ordered it! I fuckin' ordered it! OH CHRIST THANK YOU! THANK YOU BABY JESUS!

Right, now I gotta figure out how much I'm gonna charge for the three games I'm getting with it. I reckon £15 each would do nicely!

Hahaha, I've never seen you so happy.


And I never will.

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"Happiness is a new graphics card." -- John Lennon.

"The foundation of all mental illness is an unwillingness to experience legitimate suffering and not having a sweet graphics card to play games with and such." -- Carl Jung

"The whole conviction of my life now rests upon the belief that loneliness, far from being a rare and curious phenomenon, peculiar to myself and to a few other solitary men, is the central and inevitable fact of human existence, especially when you don't have a graphics card and can't play GTA." -- Thomas Wolfe

Seeing my "happy face" is a privilege reserved for your daughter.

Hahahaha.

And giving you the "happy face" is the only privilege my future daughter will ever have.

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As long as she's old enough to have sprouted teeth (all the better to chew you with).

Haha I tried to load up Solitaire for a quick game and it wouldn't even start because my current graphics card is so fuckin' old. I just get an error saying "Quit wasting my time wit' dis boooolshit, ya cheapskate no-graphics-card-havin' muthafucka". Oh yeah, I installed Windows 7 Ghetto. It's great, I feel like Chris Rock is sitting in the room with me, although it does make me a little cagey about leaving my bike unattended in the back garden, right next to my watermelon patch, plus something about fried chicken.

Racism is exhausting.

Crysis 2 has been pushed back AGAIN! Now it's March 2011, for fuck's sake.

http://uk.pc.ign.com/articles/111/1112273p1.html

FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK

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I feel your pain, Gomster. This is probably the only game I'm genuinely looking forward to at the moment.

Assassin's Creed: Brotherhood is due out this November; this'll keep me occupied until March of next year, especially with the new gameplay features such as being able to train your own stable of assassins to be sent out on hits.

Only game? Did you give up on HL3?

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Haha nah man, but if Portal 2 isn't coming until next year, and if HL3 hasn't even been officially announced/acknowledged, I don't think I'll hold my breath. Actually, I will; I hear it produces explosive ejaculations.

My card was despatched Friday morning, and a small part of me wants to believe it will arrive tomorrow, even though I know it won't. Gaaa I hate waiting for shit to arrive, especially when it's awesome like the 5850 or a Deadhead Roses album Oh yeah, my cousin was reading the lyrics on the CD sleeve and was impressed, I'll lend her the album next time I see her, I reckon she'll dig it. My lil' bro expressed an interest too. Not entirely relevant to gaming, but fuck it, if a mod can't go off topic what's the fuckin' point in being a mod?

05:24am. Fuck. BUENAS NOCHES MIS AMIGOS!

I thought HL3 was officially acknowledged?

Thanks for spreading the word, St. Patrick. New material is coming... but sloooooowwly. I'll send you a couple clips sometime soonish.

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Nah, unfortunately not. We're either going to see HL3 or HL2:EP3, because we were told that there's a trilogy planned, but beyond that there's been no official word that I'm aware of. Cunting McFucknuts.

Fucking SWEET. Email me dem shits as soon as they're ready to go.

My card is here and installed, and she's a fuckin' beast. In Crysis I had anti-aliasing switched off (because it fucking cripples your GPU) and I was getting about 30 FPS, tops. With this card I can switch anti-aliasing on full and I'm getting 40 FPS. Not bad going.

The fuckers only sent me one free game when I was promised three. Apparently this is a problem with all of these cards and if I email them they'll sort it out for me. God damn right ya will, ya rat fucks.

I'm off to kill hookers in GTA. LATERZ!

Just downloaded the Mafia 2 demo.

Runs like CRAP on my pc, goddamn I need a new graphics card. Padds, what's the best low budget card you know?

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I thought it was officially going to be HL2:Ep3 before any talk of HL3 comes into play. Being as it's Valve, the only thing that's truly guaranteed is that it will be a long time before we see anything and that once it is finally released Paddy will be able to stop raping midgets and small boys he pretends are midgets for a few days, because his orgasms will be provided solely through the miracles of gaming technology.

It depends on a couple of factors. First, what are the specs of your other system components? That is, how fast is your processor/CPU and RAM (and how much RAM do you have)? You could buy the best card on the market but if the rest of your system isn't up to date with it you'll hit a bottleneck and you won't get the most out of the card anyway. Your motherboard might also be too old to accommodate a new card (you'll need PCI-Express slots for modern cards, as well as PCI-E connectors from your PSU to power the card). Then the PSU (or Power Supply) needs to be powerful enough to actually run the card, which is a genuine concern if your PSU is old and your graphics card is new.

The second factor is simply "how much are you willing to spend"? haha

Long story short, buy an ATI Radeon 5770. This card is pretty cheap by today's standards but it's more than capable of playing the latest games, as long as you're willing to reduce the graphics quality a little (which we all have to do!). The card will cost around €150, and that's about as cheap as they come, although you may have better luck on some other site or if you buy in-store. I found one on Amazon just now which is a a little bit cheaper, but I'm not sure if you'll get the same price on your localised version of Amazon.

My brothers both use the 5770 and they can easily play whatever game they choose, even Crysis with max settings (although without anti-aliasing). If you need something cheaper just reduce the 5770 by increments of 20. So, try the 5750, then the 5730, and so on. These cards are probably your best option, but give me your specs before you go buying anything Also tell me how long ago you bought the system, then we can guesstimate the motherboard's features if you're not sure what model it is.

I like their little fingers. They're like a fat man's fingers, but far away. It's like a fat man is waving to me, like the time I was walking through a shopping centre and saw a fat man who looked mighty familiar, and we waved to each other only for me to discover it was my reflection in the window of Kentucky Fried Potato. People saw.

I think EP3 is what we'll see next, because anything else would be both weird and extremely confusing. Valve are world-class cocksuckers though, so who the fuck knows?

Me, and it'll be EP3.

Alright thanks. Yeah most of my specs (RAM, CPU, ...) are above decent, only my power supply (only 250 watts I think, but a 500 watts one is only 20 bucks around here) and graphics card, so both will be purchased accordingly.


Probably will go for the Radeon 5770, had a Radeon in my previous rig, was well statisfied.

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Nice one!! When you're buying the PSU you wanna make sure it has at least two PCI-E connectors, because most modern cards need two (and I know for certain that the 5770 needs two). The wattage of the PSU isn't necessarily proof of its ability to run the card, because it's the amperage which really matters (or voltage...I forget which). But if the PSU you're getting is from a half-decent manufacturer it'll probably be fine. 20 bucks sounds a little cheap to me, but maybe that's just because of the extortionate UK/Ireland prices I have to live with. My OCZ 750w one cost me about £96 two and a half years ago!

Check this:

http://www.devhardware.com/forums/p...pply-94217.html

I've been playing Kane & Lynch 2: Dog Days. So far it's been a fuckin' blast, but its difficultly is unforgiving, even on the easiest setting. The game is definitely a massive improvement over the original, and the action feels realistic and punchy. The graphics are lovely, too. The original game looked like it quantum leaped into 2007 from 1997, and I don't think it even had shadows, so everything looked like a cartoon. Not this time!

It's a third-person shooter, as it was in the first game, except this time it feels as if you're standing behind the character with a camcorder filming everything, as opposed to being anchored to the guy's shoulder. The camcorder element is exploited fully, with everything looking like grainy internet footage (even the load screens are like online video buffering). When you blast someone in the face with a shotgun or something their face becomes pixelated, as if it's been censored. When I heard about this feature I was kinda annoyed, because I wanna see my handiwork, but it's actually pretty cool. It's the same deal with nudity.

Worth checking out if you're a fan of shooters.

You all should check out Bulletstorm if you love killing and . . . egoshooters. Videos first were shown at the E3

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Some new Portal 2 videos have been released (well, a lot of the footage is stuff we've already seen, but there's some new shit). Wheatley's voice is now provided by Stephen Merchant, who is Ricky Gervais' comedy partner and co-wrote/directed The Office (UK) and Extras with him. I prefer the Valve dev they had as a place-holder voice to be honest, although I do like Merchant in most of the other things he's done.

http://www.gametrailers.com/video/gc-10-portal-2/703167
http://www.gametrailers.com/video/gc-10-portal-2/703166
http://www.gametrailers.com/video/gc-10-portal-2/703165
http://www.gametrailers.com/video/gc-10-portal-2/703164

Bulletstorm looks like it might be a fun shooter, although I'm most likely not gonna buy it haha. I reckon it's one of those games that'll get mighty boring after a few hours.

Man, Portal is looking SLICK. I wonder if I could run the game at those settings on my comp.

Anyone as excited for Fallout: New Vegas as me? I'm a little worried since it isn't being made by Bethseda (Obsidian Entertainment is), but they are using the Fallout 3 engine. I like these special packs they're offering with pre-order: http://fallout.bethsoft.com/eng/hom...rder-fnv-us.php, although I think the ones offering 5 stimpaks is pretty retarded.

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On your system you can probably play Portal 2 maxed out no sweat. If the system requirements are to be higher for the sequel they won't be that much higher, because it's using the same engine with a few tweaks thrown into the mix. However, when Portal was on the verge of release the gameplay footage showed an extremely polished looking game, and the game we actually got was about half as perty. This is because the game developers use much higher quality textures and much faster hardware to design the game, and then they reduce the quality for the final product. With that in mind Portal 2 probably won't look quite as good as it does in the viddie McVids, although there's no doubt it'll be splendid.

Your system is a beast, you won't have to worry about [significantly] turning down graphics quality for a long time!

I tried getting into Fallout 3, and didn't get too far before I decided it wasn't for me. I really enjoyed the opening levels where you start off as a kid and progress through your teenage years etc. After that it got a bit samey. I'll definitely check out New Vegas though.

EDIT: Some more Portal 2 shit is coming:

http://store.steampowered.com/news/4219/

I love hearing I'm a beast. MMMmmmmmm. And yeah, I figured they are running on some seriously massive systems, but I didn't know they actually turn the game down a couple notches for release.

Now stop humping your calloused penis against your crusty pillows and come online and help me procrastinate.

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Yeah, it's kinda like how when a movie is filmed; the print is insanely high quality, even for movies from 50 years ago, which is how old movies look so much better (or at least better quality) on DVD and Blu-ray if they've already been out on the telly or VHS.

Haha sorry chief, I went to bed after my last post. I hope you didn't procrastinate all over your jeans, those stains are a bitch to get out.

That makes sense. Now that I think about it, its really the only way to make anything. Same thing happens with music - the final pressed result is a format that is less quality than the original (ex: .wav being turned into an mp3). DUH!

Its okay, I forgive you, like I forgive Jesus for being a pussy.

Also, I like that you actually put a reason for your editing your post. ADORABLE!

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Tru dat. Apparently when they make pornos the cumshots are much more explosive, with rivulets of blood and mucus crusting around the midget's areolae, but by the time they...ahh I can't even be arsed finishing this retarded half-baked nonsense.

Haha I usually do. I'm often inspired by the efficiency of Nazi Germany in my everyday life, even to the point of labelling and every edit I make here like I'm living in a giant Wikipedia article (an article which is unsourced, bloated and perpetually being considered for deletion).

I've been playing Crysis and Crysis: Warhead a lot lately, and my shiny new GPU plays both of 'em maxed out like yo mama's credit card. I finally get to see what these games were meant to look like after 3 fuckin' years, and they look PERTY!

Hahaha. Ha. Har. Hoe. Poo.

Yeeaaahh, I need to get around to playing Crysis. I really haven't pushed my system, game wise, that much at all since I got it.

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Crysis is one of the pinnacles of first person shooters. If you like FPSs you should adore this game. Crysis: Warhead is somewhat shorter, but it's a little bit more polished and optimised than the original. The latter game takes place in alignment with the first, you just play as another character who's running around a different part of the island.

[Cheeky Motherfucker]I'm selling my Steam copy of Call of Duty: Modern Warfare 2. If anyone's interested PM me.[/Cheeky Motherfucker]

EDIT: Nevermind, I eBayed that mofo.

You HAVE TO play it. It`s worth every fuckin nanosecond you spend playing it

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He speaks da troof. Here's the demo if you wanna give it a blast:

http://www.gamershell.com/news_42876.html

The demo offers quite a generous chunk of the game's opening levels. Worth the download if you're unsure about buying/pirating the game. Here's my sweet 4-word review:

I bought a copy.

'nuff said.

Here's an interview with the writer of Portal 2:

http://www.gametrailers.com/episode...p=101&ch=1&sd=0

You may need to disable your ad-blocker if the video doesn't load.

Dear Grand Theft Auto: San Andreas players,

I, Paddy, have made an awesome script which makes cheating in San Andreas easier. Instead of having to type out long, nonsensical cheat codes manually during gameplay you can now press the corresponding hotkey in my sweet script and it will type the code for you. What does this mean for you, the gamer? Well gamer, it means you can save precious time by having cheats entered immediately and without worrying about mistyping them. Worry is a leading cause of stress which is the primary cause of worry. Allow me to save your life with my sweet skills:

http://www.gtagarage.com/mods/show.php?id=12884

I've tested all 84 of the cheats included in the script, but if you find any problems lemme know.

Unless you want to edit the script to change hotkeys or whathaveyou all you need is the .exe (and the hotkey list, obviously). It works sort of like a trainer, by which I mean you start the .exe and leave it running in the background, and during gameplay it will respond to certain key combinations. It's not a trainer, though. If you are reading this thinking "this is a trainer" you'd be wrong. Stop thinking it's a trainer. A trainer intercepts memory addresses and manipulates them (among other things), and the thing I've made is basically an automated typing tool. If you open Notepad or something similar and press a hotkey while the script is running it will type the cheat code before your very eyes. That's all it does, really. But it does it awesomely and it means I'm a computer hacker, so don't mess with me or I'll hack you out of existence ya CUNT.

You're welcome.

P.S. You're welcome.

P.P.S. The only way you could be more welcome is if you actually moved in and started paying rent.

P.P.P.S. Just to be clear: no one is moving in with me.

EDIT: Here's a printer-friendly list of the hotkeys/cheats:

http://pmtabs.myartsonline.com/prin...dly-version.txt

Lookin' tits! Although the writer seemed a little "off" to me.

I've never played any of the Left 4 Dead games, despite being obsessed with zombies. They any good?

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damn, if only you were 2 years earlier. I used to play San Andreas all the time, I actually kind of want to torrent it again now. Those cheat codes were a pain in the dick, I had a whole list of them written out somewhere.

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Haha same here, I just started replaying it a week or so ago. I have the Steam version, which is version 3.0, and the one trainer available for it doesn't work on x64 systems, so I had to go back to typing out the cheats, which is what prompted me to either make my own trainer (way too hard) or do what I did with the script. I'd still prefer a trainer though, if only for a proper God Mode (the standard cheat version doesn't protect you from everything), but in the meantime this will do the trick!

I wish GTA IV had some of the same kinds of cheats that San Andreas has. For instance, "riot mode". How fucking cool would that be in GTA IV?

GTA V is in the works, but there's very little information known about it. I think the strongest rumour about it is that it will take place in Vice City, but I hope that's not the case. Somewhere new would be nice. An upgrade for San Andreas using the latest engine/graphics would be even nicer.

Speaking of which, have you tried the ENB Series mod yet D&Q? It's a tiny collection of files you add to your game directory, and when you tweak the settings file to have everything maxed out this is what you get:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ESMSRjHYecI

Compare it to the standard graphics:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PFf24lqHvkA

The difference is fucked up, worth checking out if you have a half-decent rig.

http://enbdev.com/download_en.htm

EDIT: Cool, just found a standalone configuration tool for the ENB mod:

http://www.gtainside.com/en/downloa...wnload&id=30970

Replaying (that doesn't happen a lot!) Batman Arkham Asylum.

This game is pure love.

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I've yet to play Arkham Asylum, but I've heard good things about it. Gonna check Usenet now

Here's a version of that infuriating Portal song that I'd happily listen to:

http://soundcloud.com/xihilisk/stil...slowed-down-800

Fuckin' spacey shit, dude!

I haven't tried any mods with it yet, I put the whole game in the recycling bin about two years ago to make room on my harddrive

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Shit haha, don't you have a hard copy of it somewhere? I bought a copy on Steam for £3.50 (around $6) when it was on sale, it will probably be on sale again, plus a DVD copy will probably cost about as much these days. Actually, less:

http://video-games.shop.ebay.com/Ga...d=p3286.c0.m282

BitTorrent is even cheaper!

Dyldo, a massive bastard of new screenshots of the Black Mesa project has been inadvertently leaked (they were provided to a reviewer who thought he was allowed to publish them haha). Check dese shits out:

http://imgur.com/a/HYO2b/black_mesa..._screns_part_13
http://imgur.com/a/NMd1o/black_mesa..._screns_part_23
http://imgur.com/a/F09qT/black_mesa..._screns_part_33

There are several pages of images in each link, be sure to check 'em all!

Looks like it's shaping up quite well. Hopefully it'll be released this year.

Those screenshots look great. The quality looks no different than the new HLs. Impressive. I also must thank the publisher of those for his "misunderstanding". Is he getting in any trouble for leaking those?

I really like that slowed down version of Still Alive, it translated really well. I love slowing shit down like that. The track Humility on Zastruga is actually just the last track slowed down a bunch (with some other things thrown on top of it).

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I am praying that this will be for PC. PLEASE GOD LET THIS BE FOR PC: http://www.escapistmagazine.com/new...onfirmed-at-PAX

The game will probably just be so-so, but I really grew up with The Duke. I played Duke Nukem 3D so fucking much when I was a kid.

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Fuck Duke Nukem. The one on N64 was killer though but why should I wait for a game that won`t come out until year 2xxx

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Well, apparently, its almost definitely coming out in 2011, or so they say. I stopped waiting after the 33083th delay.

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They may as well just cancel this fucking game, because there's no way it will ever live up to its 10+ year development span. No matter how good it is it won't be worth the wait.

I probably won't even bother downloading it from Usenet!

Postal III looks like it's shaping up to be a massive mouthful of shite:

http://www.gametrailers.com/game/postal-iii/5279

More Portal 2 vids:

http://www.gametrailers.com/game/portal-2/12821

Postal III looks retarded. I didn't really like the second on either as it just got too silly. The first one was just pure fucking evil.

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Duke Nukem Forever should have been abandoned, or completed, years ago. The thing about it now is that it's going to prove to be a decades-long wait for a game that's essentially an unsophisticated take on a First Person Shooter. I mean, the original was made obsolete after Half-Life (or, if you prefer, after Modern Warfare or something); unless this update proves to be equally genre-shifting (it won't), it's about the most overhyped game of all time.

Though, honestly, the thing that I feel is often overlooked about the original Duke Nukem is that it was more fun for its attitude than anything about its gameplay. In other words, it was equally fun to watch as to play, which is not a compliment when you're talking about a video game.

Well, apparently they're finally making it. Some people are not happy about this. I, without any horse dicks to suck, am still non-plussed, largely because I think Duke Nukem kinda sucks.

I realize that Dyldo is unhappy because he is also without horse dicks, but maybe if you were to ask they'd oblige you.

Just completed Mafia II. It's a good game, but to call it "free roam" is a little bit of a stretch. There's fuck-all to do in the city, and judging by the AI of the cops and pedestrians the developers never intended you to go exploring too much. It's a linear game, with no side missions, and that's exactly what it feels like when you're playing it. They didn't even bother including a jump key or quick travelling via taxis and trains because none of them is needed. A waste of an opportunity if you ask me; it has as much replay value as any other non-sandbox game out there, whereas games like GTA have plenty of shit to do outside of the main narrative. The story and the acting is all fairly solid though, so it's worth a look. Just don't expect to be doing anything other than what the storyline dictates. I also quite liked the ending, for several reasons that I can't go into without spoiling it completely!

I also started playing Saints Row 2. I played it for all of 10 minutes when it was first released and I gave up on it; I was too spoiled by GTA IV's graphics and the generally higher quality of the production and wouldn't play anything less, and I also disliked the bratty anti-GTA chiding even though I agreed with it, so I decided to give it another blast now that I'm less of a cunt. It's definitely a fun game, but Windows 7 users are kinda fucked because there's a bug in the game which makes everything about 4x faster than it's supposed to be. That is, running, driving, jumping, etc. It's like watching a Benny Hill sketch, and the developers have stated that they aren't going to fix the problem because Windows 7 isn't supported by them, so some freelance coders had to come up with a solution themselves. What a cocksuck. Especially for me, given that the fix only works with legit copies of the game haha. I'll probably buy it anyway, it's only £9.99 on Steam.

The only Duke Nukem game I ever played for more than 2 minutes was Time to Kill on the Playstation. Fucking good game. I had a few sessions on it using an emulator on the PC, it's still quite fun and doesn't look too horrid considering its age (11 years!). I couldn't get the cheats to work though, so I didn't bother playing it again!

This is fucking tragic:

http://www.gog.com/

The FUCK is gog?

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They sell old and oldish games for next to nothing (GOG = Good Old Games), with no DRM or other copy protection, and it's digital distribution like Steam, except you just download the game itself and can use it any way and anywhere you want. They also patch the games to make them work on modern systems. It's pretty much the only game store worth my money, and now it's gone. Every time I get close to something it leaves me, except ya mama who won't stop calling me at 4am after she's had 8 shots of whiskey and 12 painkillers. It's getting a bit annoying, to be honest.

The site will probably return, but they said it will be in a different form. I'm guessing that means it'll have DRM, higher prices and basically a big fat cocksuck rendering the whole project a waste of time.

I have a fairly hefty catalogue of their games bought and downloaded, probably even more than I have on Steam. I don't mind parting with my measly handful of government pennies when it's going to a consumer-friendly company like GOG.

*sigh* there was a nice lil' game site I had once...

Just installed Sid Meier's Pirates! and then played for like 3 hours non stop (which is like the first time ever)


Holy fuck.

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http://www.gog.com/

Assholes.

F1 2010


Holy shit. Played this game for like 2 hours, just doing Bahrain's practice and qualifying sessions. Need a smoke-break now, LOVING the feel of it and can't wait for the actual race. The kind of game where finishing 13th in a Lotus (one of the 3 available teams at first) is a FUCKING ACCOMPLISHMENT. Ffffabulous!

And how immersive is this shit, if you return to the paddock (each track has it's own recognizable paddock!!!!!!!!!!!!!!) you may be interrupted by the press to hand out a small interview, and press attention (and competing drivers visiting your trailer) only increases along with your results.


AMAGAHD AMAGAHD AMAGAHD can't wait to actually race this shit.

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Hahaha sounds like you're enjoying yourself there, Wolf. I've never been into straight racing games; is this one worth checking out regardless? I mean, driving around a track several times can't be that much better in F1 2010 than in F1 2009, can it? I like being wrong

That's where you're wrong!

There WAS no F1 2009!
At least not on the pc, damn, last F1 game to hit pc's was F1 Challenge '99-'02, by Electronic Arts, real decent game but easy as shit.


F1 2010 on the other hand, is by Codemasters so it's not at all an update from a previous entry in the franchise, actually this is the FIRST entry in what I hope WILL be a franchise.

Well it's kind of a purist game, but you can arcadify the gameplay with various assists and there's night time races and shit. Good multiplayer-support aswell.

But yeah, since this is no "update-game" it just features a lot of first-time content, like the weather. OH AND THE PADDOCK-FEEL IS BRILLIANT, also decent moody drum and bass (the boring pendulum-kind but in this context it works) soundtrack everything just feels so slick and relaxing, nice change of pace from all the adrenaline-fueled racing.

More on the weather shit: like, when it like, rains, parts of the track that are covered by like those overhanging trees actually stay dryer etc, sounds trivial and purist but really is a cool touch, keeps you on your toes.

Actually that's what the entire game does, keep you on your toes. The sense of speed is exhilerating, and since I'm forced to start out with a lower-tier car, I had to focus all on speed and not grip (downforce) to compensate my time in the straights. Works out good, can finish 9th instead of 19th, but this setup makes for an extreeemely twitchy car, you absolutely have the constant feeling of "ofuckofuckofcukimaslipupinthisbitch".

Sounds off-putting for new-time racers but hey I haven't played an F1-game in like 5 years, instead of offputting it's really nerve-wrecking fun, and gives a wonderful sense of achievement if you managed to overtake another car.

Oh yes on overtaking, in this game overtaking doesn't mean going faster than the other car in a straight line (cause you simply won't be going faster) , or sneak in between or around him in a turn (cause you'll bite the dust and lose 5 places or spin up and wreck yaself). It's literally stalking your oponent until he slips up and gives you that much free room.

Once again this all sounds very flight sim-complicated-onlyforthehardcore-like, but Codemaster's really did a perfect job making it FUN, which is no hard feat because in most other racing-games (even their own Colin McRae Dirt) fun means: finishing first, whereas this game let's you fight over the 17th position.

It's not just a fantastic F1-game, it's a really cool racing game aswell.


Okay okay okay now for a smoke and then back off to race.
Fucking hooked, first time since FOREVER.

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I'm always tempted by purism in games, even in genres I'm not particularly interested in. I couldn't get into flight sims because it's just far too complex; the learning curve is so spherical it looks like Pac-Man. But realism and attention to detail are things I enjoy a great deal, so I may give F1 a look just for the fuck of it.

The last F1 game I played was either '98 or '99, and it was when it was first released. It came bundled with my Playstation along with Mortal Kombat 3. That was really the only reason I played it; I had little choice until I got some new games haha. I haven't given any real time to racing games since then, because like you said it's basically a case of driving faster than the other guys, which is pretty one-dimensional and fantastically dull. If there's actually a fair degree of strategy and planning involved I might find myself downloading F1 2010 from Usenet

It's lovely when you find a game which hooks you. I think Assassin's Creed II was the last game to eat up all of my spare time (of which I have much), and Assassin's Creed: Brotherhood looks like it's gonna be even more engrossing! Unfortunately Ubisoft are persisting with their insanely Draconian DRM, so I'll be pirating it like a muthafucka.

I bought Saints Row 2 from eBay today, after discovering that all retail versions of the game are in fact Steam licensed copies which require you to use Steam to play it (I prefer using Steam if I can). I got it for £4.46 brand new on eBay, and Steam are charging £9.99. Not a bad bargain, plus it's already backed up onto disc - no downloading required! When my legit copy arrives I'll be able to play it with the Windows 7 unofficial "fix" for the bug which causes everything to be sped up like everyone's snorting crack. It's designed especially to NOT work on pirate copies, and the game's certainly worth £4.46 even if the devs don't give a fuck about Windows 7 users, so fuck it

EDIT: Not even the pretty graphics and realistic handling could make me like F1.

I've been getting into Fallout 3 over the past week or so, but just when I start enjoying the fucker it starts freezing up on me. Has anyone else had this problem and if so were you able to fix it? I've tried installing the K-Lite Codec Pack, tweaking the ffdshow filter and using both the UK and US 1.7 patch, all of which were recommended on other forums and none of which works.

Fallout: New Vegas is coming out at the end of this month, so I might just wait for that instead

Fuck, that sucks Pads. Only thing I can think of is to just put it on a much lower quality settings for awhile. That, or google around about it freezing (especially at your specific location). How far into the game are you? I fucking bet you blew up Megaton, you asshat.

I am so fucking excited for New Vegas. I really, really loved Fallout 3 and hope this is just as good.

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Hahaha I disarmed the bomb! How else could I have gone in and massacred them all in their homes with a sledgehammer?

I don't think the quality settings are involved, and my system takes a massive shit on the hardware requirements anyway. I've been reading a lot of about the problem via Shmoogle but none of the solutions offered by others has worked, so I was hoping maybe someone here would have an alternative solution. Should'a known better, ya useless cunts.

I haven't even seen so much as a screenshot for the next Fallout haha, I'm guessing it'll be more or less as good as Fallout 3 and Oblivion (hmmm, I may give Oblivion another a shot now that Fallout 3 has pissed me off).

Woow I just noticed my bro installed Fallout 3. I`ve never played it longer than a few hours. Gonna give it another try when the holidays start.

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New Vegas should be better, at least in terms of content. Unlike Bethesda, it's being developed by the people who actually made the original two games, and while I like Fallout 3 in a lot of ways and find it satisfying beyond the limits of the Infinity Engine, Black Isle have always been able to deliver a better RPG than Bethesda.

I think every Bethesda-developed game I've ever played has crashed more often than Stevie Wonder in a 3-wheel monster truck, so I'm hoping Vegas won't have the same problem if it's to be developed by a different outfit.

I've heard people say something just like this, but I've never played the first two Fallouts (nor anything by Black Isle, I don't think). Can't. Fucking. Wait.


The only problem I had with Fallout 3 was that it would freeze up every time I attempted to load up the Broken Steel add-on. I never did get that fixed and it was the only part of the game that I never got to complete. I guess I could install it on my new computer and play it, but I'd have to beat the game first as it only continues the game after you've finished it and I don't have the time right now.

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Spoaking of RPG shooting shit:


Playing Mass Effect 1 now, had played it before but couldn't finish it (pirated version had a bug blocking an important elevator) so I bought it legally.
Had already played Mass Effect 2 and apparently, if you still have a Mass Effect 1 savegame it will import a SHITLOAD of data and COMPLETELY change and adapt the experience.

Blazing through it right now, really darn curious to all these changes.

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You should play everything made by Black Isle, Obsidian, or Troika (the latter two basically being the remnants of Black Isle after it was dissolved during the production of the original Fallout 3). The first two Fallouts, Planescape: Torment, Arcanum, Knights of the Old Republic 2, and Vampire: the Masquerade - Bloodlines are some of the best, most open-ended RPGs ever made, and some of the only ones where your actions have actual consequence beyond the obvious.

It's a different outfit, but it's going to be on the same engine and probably under more stringent circumstances, so it's hard to say if it will be better on that count or not.

Apparently Mass Effect 2 makes a lot of decisions for you about what happened in the previous game if you don't export an actual character, probably as incentive for doing just that.

I've never heard of any of those games. I probably won't ever play them, but I'll act like I know what they are the next time someone brings them up!

Steam has Left 4 Dead 2 on sale right now for $6. Get it while its hot! Today and today and today only!

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My lil' bro tipped me off to this (not a euphemism) but I remember playing the first game and not being overly impressed with it, so I doubt I'll buy it.

I think the Source Engine has had its day; it looks feels as old as it is, you know? It's fine for games like Portal, though.

Dyldo:

Try Mass Effect 2. Now.

Paddy:

Didn't like the first one either, but the second one is really a great game, mechanics are honed, levels are intresting and overall, blazing through all those zombies makes you feel like an incredible badass.




Seriously Dylds, try Mass Effect 2 now. Then Mass Effect 1, and THEN back to number 2.

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ALRIGHT ALRIGHT! I'll check out Mass Effect 2. I've heard its the bees' ankles.

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I see the L4D offer is over. Meh, the Winter/Christmas sales are coming up, it'll probably be on offer again for about £3 haha.

I was fucking around with my acoustic guitar the other day and started plucking one of the excess pieces of string sticking out of the tuning peg at a steady rhythm (don't ask) and I thought "why does that sound so fucking familiar?"

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wQhNkQlTNRY [Skip to 0:59]

The beacon sound from the diamond cases in Far Cry 2 sound uncannily the same as the aforementioned guitar string pluckage. In fact, I'm 99% certain that this is what they used for the sound.

Fuck me I rule.

For today only Bejewelled 2 by PopCap Games is being offered for free. Get it while it's...well, free!

http://www.popcap.com/games/bejewel..._pc_10_10_10_EN

Fuckin' shit game, but women over 45 seem to like it.

Steam is currently selling the complete pack of Tales of Monkey Island (5 episodes in total) for £3.50:

http://store.steampowered.com/app/31170/

Worth checking out if you like adventure games or indeed the original Monkey Island series.

Fallout New Vegas is pretty tits. I only got to play it for a few hours last night so I'm still in the very early stages of the game (I haven't even gone to the Strip yet) so I can't say too much about it, but its pretty great thus far.

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I've been playing it all day (hasn't crashed once!) and I agree, it's titty-boom-booms. It's almost indistinguishable from Fallout 3, but if it ain't broke don't fix it! Although Fallout 3 is broke for me, so they can go ahead and fix that shit.

Go Fallouts!

P.S. Open the console and type the following commands for superfuntimes:

tgm = God Mode, no weight limit, infinite ammo, infinite weapon durability, and probably a few other things I haven't noticed yet.

player.additem 000000F 99999 = gives you 99999 bottle caps.

I'm playing the game properly (that is, doing missions and being nice to people) but I have a separate savegame in which I pretty much kill/main everyone I meet on sight with a grenade launcher. Good times.

Hurraaay you got it! Where the hell did you get he nade launcher? Have you modded any weapons yet? Have you made it to the strip? I keep getting side tracked by the countless side missions. I still haven't even found the people that tried to kill me yet.

I'm actually not playing the game very nicely. I kept up pretty great karma and stuff in F3, but this time I'm being a bit more sadistic. I'm stealing a lot more and lying up the ass. I reaaalllyy wish I had a higher science skill. I just sent the ghouls into space and I noticed that you can reroute their flight path. I so wanted to send them into the ground.

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I think I may have bought it off the guy inside the T-Rex. I can't actually remember haha.

Same here, I've been doing pretty much every mission that's on offer! Haven't modded any weapons yet, not exactly sure how to.

FUCK! I didn't know that. I just finished this mission myself. How did you reroute it? Did you convince the human who thought he was a ghoul to sabotage the rocket?

The first person I killed was Cobb, he's the first "asshole" character you meet. He seemed like a bit of a cunt so I shot him in the face with a varmint rifle, Dick Cheney style. I'm sure I probably missed out on a load of missions, but the fucker had to get GOT!

Oh yeah, I only discovered about 4 hours into the fucking game that your Pip has a light on it. I was stumbling around in the dark firing grenades just to light my path until I realised haha. In case you didn't know, you can switch on your light by holding down Tab (or whatever button you use to bring up your Pip-thingy). I played about 6 hours of Fallout 3 in the dark, too. Fuck me I'm dense.

Hahaha, yeah, I know about the light. You know you can also assign your number keys to hotkey your weapons, right? I totally forgot about that and just did it after 3-4 hours of playing. You highlight the gun you want, hold he number, and click. Also, the "2" button switches your ammo! I was trying forever to try and figure out how to switch to my hollow points n' shit.

Nah, not by convincing that human dude that he's not a ghoul. In the room that has the rocket launch button, to the right of that is a console and if you go up to it it says "reroute rocket?" or something like that. Then it fucked my ass while whispering into my ear that I wasn't high enough in the science department.

Do you know any console commands to re-arrange my SPECIAL skill points (the ones you create at the beginning)? I don't like what I did. I hate me.

Also, my character looks surprisingly similar to me. I'll take a screenshot.

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You can add special skill points at will using this command:

addspecialpoints #

Replace the # with a number of your choosing.

Or, you can modify a single skill directly:

player.modav luck #

Again, replace the # with a number and "luck" with the skill you wanna change.

advlevel will advance you up one level.

Most (probably all) of the cheats for Fallout 3 will work, too. It's built upon essentially the same engine and console, so the codes carry over into Vegas. Here's a rather lengthy explanation of the console commands:

http://fallout.wikia.com/wiki/Fallo...onsole_commands

Screenshot please.

Thanks Pads. I'm going to use player.modav <variable> <amount> so I can subtract points to distribute them equally. I don't want to have any kind of leg-up.

Alright, what is the fucking trick when hacking? I've never, NEVER been able to do it right and often have to keep reloading after I get locked out. Four tries with 7 letter words is not enough to do a decent process of elimination.

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I think I tried hacking once and gave up almost immediately. You'd need to be an autistic Jap to crack them shits.

Ugh, this shit ain't working. I type this exactly: "player.modav strength -1" and nothing happens. Using a positive number also has no results. WHY?

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Yeah, can't get that shit to work after a million variations. Oh well.

I found a cool mission that you can only get at night. Go into the Dinosaur mouth at night and you'll meet the night sniper Boone, who will be your companion if you complete the mission. Its sweet because you can have him murder anyone you want for you during the mission.

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Alright, I'm fucking pissed. I am fucking extremely not happy right now. I can't save a game. I can "save" a game, but it doesn't save. If I exit and then go back in to play, it just picks up on my saved game from last night regardless of what I do. I figured this out with an extra hour into the game. What. The. Fuck.

EDIT: Okay, so I "fixed" it. Apparently its my quick/auto save that is not working. If I go to the main menu and save from their, it works, but that's it. Its a small annoyance in itself but its a huge fucking annoyance that a simple feature in a majorly anticipated game is fucked. I also found a small bug that fast-traveling to certain points causes my companion to run back to wherever I found him. I'm guessing that this is attributed to the "classic pack bonus" that I got from reserving it. Basically, that bonus it gives you some free shit that is only available in game if you reserve it and I've read online about strange bugs that people are getting and it seems that most of these things are caused by this bonus (which was obviously never fully tested). One of the big ones I've seen is that the free Weather 10mm Pistol that comes with the reserved game cannot be modded, and if one attempts to there is a huge question mark that appears over the pistol accompanied by blurred vision.

God damnit, Bethseda. I just want to quick save. The vault suit, canteen (actually handy) and 10mm pistol are not worth the bugs.

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Auch, sucks bad to hear, especially coming from Bethesda who should be rather consistent concerning quality, no?



So yeah, I too have begun Fallout New Vegas and, I already fell in love with Fallout 3 (duh), but something about this sucks me in even harder (Paddy quick find a metaphor).

Just did the tutorial shit, got weirded out by the way those gecko's run at you (no for real, what the shit), and then went to the Primm-resort thing. The Theme Park thing with all the convicts.

Jesus Christ was this cool, going inside buildings, scavenging, carefully picking off the convicts, ... I even prefer regular shooting over VATS this time. Totally loving the scavenger-feel about everything. Ah damnit this is gonna cost me another 40 hours of my life.

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Darn, try this one instead, I'm not sure if it applies to special skills though:

player.setav penis #

I think some of the commands from Fallout 3 have been modified for Vegas, but most are the same. I'm sure the correct codes will start trickling out as people experiment with the console.

I haven't had any problems with the savegames, but this is one of the most common fuck-ups people encounter with PC games. This is a long shot, but it has worked for a few people I know: try disabling your anti-virus software (or any similarly intrusive real-time protection programs) and see if that helps.

There's been a patch released for the game. Is your version legit? If so, download the patchy McPatch and apply that fucker! I'll have to wait for a crack group to release the patch with a new No-DVD crack, but I haven't found any problems so far so I'm happy enough.

Some things don't require a punchline

EDIT: I just found the new patch on Usenet. Sweet!

Yay! Three of us have it! Now we can spam this thread with talk about how awesome this game is. But just 40 hours? Nah, more.

Have you guys played Caravan yet? I've been too lazy to learn it even though I almost have a full deck.

Paddy, can you try the code yourself to make sure I'm not retarded? I'll try that other one later but since it probably doesn't apply to SPECIAL skills I won't need it.

Hell yeah mine is legit. I never download anything (really, FBI! really!). But yeah, its legit. I'll try that tonight when I get home. I seriously thought I attached a screenshot with my last post, but apparently not, so I'll also do that when I get home. The sauce makes me forget things.

Paddy, you probably don't think anyone notices, but I do. I love your reasons for editing things.

EDIT: Reading about the new patch, it apparently fixes the autosave problem. If not, I found some other solutions so I should be good. Thank God because I save like a motherfucker. F5! F5! F5!

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Alright, I feel fucking retarded. Where the hell can I get the patch?

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Fuck, I'm not sure where a legit version is haha. The version I have is ripped from Steam; do you use Steam? If so it should update automatically.

The cracked version I got includes the download content, I'm not sure if the legit version includes that stuff for free.

EDIT: A second patch has been released. Damn, those guys at Bethesda really put the effort in (not sarcasm). I'm still waiting for just one patch for about 12 of my games which have major performance issues, and some of these games were released over 3 years ago!

I say fuck that, just make a new thread.

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I really can't remember the last time I played a game for 5 hours straight, days in a row. I hate myself but I can't tear myself away...

Last night I raided Vault 34 and found a huuugeee weapons cache in the armory. We're talking Missle Launchers, Minigun, Sniper Rifle, Grenade Launcher, Riot Shot Gun, and a unique Assault Rifle that fucking rules called the "All-American". Also, near Freeside there's a gunshop. If you pass a speech test the dude will show you his "special" selection and in it he has a fucking Grenade Machine gun. Holy fuck is that thing fun. I steal about every valuable thing I can get my hands on. Stealth Boys are great for this, especially if you want a Combat Assault Rifle without paying $6,000 for it. Go to the Gun Runners store and stealth your way into the actual gated facility and you'll find one. That thing is sweet.

I confronted Benny last night but he took off, so I've got to go find him. I got sidetracked though and I'm not helping the Brotherhood of Steal so I can get me some Power Armor training. After that, I'm going to wipe the Legion off the fucking map. I hate those guys.

So far, about 18 hours in, I do like Fallout 3 better, but this is holding up pretty well. I really, really hope there is a mission in NV like in F3 where you were that little kid and had to run around that little perfect town murdering everybody. That was tits.

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Is that the vault with the self-sacrifice thingy? If yes I'll have to go back and take another look cause damn I love the single-shot rifles in this game, so I'd just jizz all over that sniper rifle.



And yes same thing here, first time EVER I'm even posting shit like "omg did you do that and that too?".
I actually like this one better than F3, this game just makes me feel like such a fucking badass. Maybe cause this time your character has no obvious past, compared to the lovingly raised, overparented pussy you were in F3.
Dear God I hope someone makes a mod so that you can smoke in this game, lighting up post-apocalyptic Marlboro-fags whilst shooting those fucking scorpions from 30 yards away using my I don't know what gun it's a black one but it still makes me feel so badass.
Especially when some fuck turns 'round the corner in an abandoned motel and you press "V" quick enough to blast him in the face really hard like that one badass pornstar that jizzes really hard on women's faces(/feces) from 5 inches away before the mohawked fag could even pull his gun.

Does any of you 2 also has problems typing on about this game? After every sentence I have to stop myself from closing the window and going back to New Vegas to be a badass again.


I love you, badass Bethesda.



PS yeah I also just returned from the Strip to confront Benny, helping those Boomers right now. But holy shit was that president-suite attack a bitch, seeing as I really don't like using the god-mode in this game (whereas I tgm'ed the fuck out of Fallout 3). Having to actually search for food, drinks and smokes just makes it feel so much more post-apocalyptic and badass. Yeah, do think that New Vegas get's the deserted wasteland-feel better than the predecessor. Constantly exploring nigh-empty buildings and looking for some scrap metal, fission batteries and whatnot. Badass.

So far took a break from all the quests (after the boomers) to go around and explore some more. Starting to get kinda OCD-like, can't see an empty triangle without travelling 300 yards just to see it get filled and that badass sound-effect pop up when you discovered a new area. I must have gone 7 levels up from exploring alone. Bad. Ass.


Edit: Badass-count: 9 so far.



Edit: holy shit yes that virtual black and white reality-level was the bees badass knees. I actually tried to frantically get the bottle-tv-radio-chair combination right to get the fuck outta there, my actions there made me feel guilty as badass fuck.
Actually that's always the case. I'm such a badass pussy in games like these. I can't bring myself to fuck over innocent civilians. Not in Fallout, not in Mass Effect, not in KOTOR, ...


Badass-count: 12

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Hahaha, I was counting your badasses before you gave the count. I haha'd.

Self-sacrifice thingy? Nah, I don't know what that is so I'm guessing its not. Just google Vault 34 and find it on the map and go check it out. I'm warning you though, its a bitch to get to the armory and everything. The level design is horrifically confusing and you have to do a bunch of shit first. Its worth it though, because the All-American gun makes me feel like a fucking bad-mother-fucking-ass. Its also fun being able to plant C4 in people's pockets, walk away, set off, and marvel at the gore shower reigning over the innocent bystanders. But the most badass gun? That grenade machinegun. I'm not talking about a gun that has a nade launcher attached, I'm talking about a huge fucking gun that pumps out grenades.

You had problems in the Tops presidential suite thing? Where they come and try to kill you? I managed to sneak in some brass knucles and a silences .22, but then I noticed that in the sweet there's a safe with a submachine gun, powerfist, and other thingy so I had no problem taking those fuckers out. I also had Boone with me though. Man, Boone is fucking sweet. I let him pick off everyone while I raid their corpses.

Did either of you happen to get that Whacky Wasteland (I think that's what its called) perk in the beginning? I didn't, but I kind of wish I did now as I'm always wondering what it is.

Yes, I have trouble doing anything these past few days. I've actually been sneaking out of work early to go play. I just bought a new mic today and I'm worried that I won't even open it until tomorrow (which really is sad). I'm not used to playing a game this much. I feel weird, like, dissociated. Ah, fuck it, I'll just take a Stimpack and I'll be - holy shit, did I just get reality mixed up with Fallout? Christ. I can just see myself going mad from constantly hearing Ghouls rush me in reality from every direction. I can't go on like this. I just can't. I want my old life back, Betheseda, I want it back now. You can keep the $50, I don't care. Its not like I don't drink enough Nuka Cola to get it back soon anyw - FUCK!

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