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2008-01-22, 11:05
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Lo, they do call to me...
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Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: virginia beach, VA
Posts: 2,209
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smoking
this is my first time writing in a long time, so be gentle
smoking
sucking in that sweet cancer
gasp for the last drag of sanity
smoking
breathing in a divine death
hoping for a semblance of clarity
smoking
caught in the wisps of these burning leaves
every ash a loss so dear
smoking
a last resort to reclaim
a second of life once serene
smoking
mourning the moment when
i grind that precious ember into nothingness
smoking
despose of the remains longing
for another filters kiss so sweet
smoking
better than any lovers caress
more faithful than a person could be
smoking
my one true love
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Too grim to function
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2008-01-22, 13:52
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Life is pain.
Banned
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Join Date: Jun 2004
Location: Australia
Posts: 4,510
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not... good.
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2008-01-22, 14:09
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Denimwearinghillbilly
Forum Leader
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Join Date: Jul 2002
Location: Bladel, Holland
Posts: 6,806
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ahh, i think im gonna light up
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2008-01-29, 19:04
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Post-whore
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Join Date: Jun 2005
Location: Ballater, Scotland, UK.
Posts: 1,128
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Seems weird. Like one of those adverts that the National Health Service here in the UK make about how to kick the habit, but with more grim, poetic lyrics.
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2008-01-31, 12:56
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dsnt trust ne1 < 30
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Join Date: Jan 2003
Location: Home is where the <3 is
Posts: 8,881
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I think I'd change the title to elude to smoking like "My Truest Flame" or "The Ember that Burns for Only Me." I dunno. I'm having a dull writing time right now. But anyways, I'd also take out the word "smoking" all though it. It lets the piece breathe more like a long comfortable drag and relaxing exhale watching the curls or rings drift off into sun's rays pouring through a window and melding before complete disappearance. Maybe pulling a worry or unpleasant thought away. I'm not condoning smoking, but give what you have a little more shot in the arm and I think it'll be more satisfying. It'll read like a Marlboro instead of a Basic. 
__________________
My eldest son's bipolar website: www.bipolarmanifesto.com
-wally: Mom, you shouldn't play after me because it makes you sound even worse than you already do. -wally:*grumbles and whispers quietly* I guess it's cuz I love you or something, but you're still a TURD
Grimm:I could read your mind but its in font size .5
Amadeus:Oh, and was there a cesserole (never mind spelling) involved?
Paddy:the fact that you didn't end up on a kids show makes me question my atheism
Dyldo: You evil strumpet!
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2008-01-31, 13:42
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Lo, they do call to me...
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Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: virginia beach, VA
Posts: 2,209
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fair enough, you always got good advice mom
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Too grim to function
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2008-01-31, 19:15
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FFFFFFFFFFFUUUUUUUUUUUUUU
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Join Date: Mar 2006
Location: St. Louis
Posts: 3,003
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This offends me as a smoker and cancer-endorser. But since I can't do anything about it, I'll just develop a sense of humor. haha.
No, in all seriousness, I liked it.
__________________
DETH TOLL!!!
Keep checking for new crap.
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Originally Posted by Amadeus
It's really sad, all those people who don't understand why we shouldn't act like our enemies. The real victory is not only killing and imprisoning the terrorists, but also letting civilized manners override the lust for revenge, once the battle is over.
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2008-03-12, 10:11
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Okay.
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Join Date: Nov 2004
Location: British Columbia, Canada
Posts: 4,137
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Quote:
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Originally Posted by The Doctor
ahh, i think im gonna light up
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lol yeah, that just made me want to smoke.
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Quote:
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Originally Posted by Paddy
Chances are there have been Irish in every corner of the world, no matter how remote. Our semen is listed in the World Health Organisation's Big Book of Pestilential Materials.
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Originally Posted by CompelledToLacerate
God, the Japanese are so weird. This HAS to be the long term effects of the atom bombs. No one is that weird on purpose.
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Originally Posted by Gomli
The slams in that song always kill me. First time I heard that song I was like "Too much heaviness - brain collapse" but now I could murder my family to that one
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2008-03-13, 19:01
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dsnt trust ne1 < 30
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Join Date: Jan 2003
Location: Home is where the <3 is
Posts: 8,881
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I only smoke during sex.
__________________
My eldest son's bipolar website: www.bipolarmanifesto.com
-wally: Mom, you shouldn't play after me because it makes you sound even worse than you already do. -wally:*grumbles and whispers quietly* I guess it's cuz I love you or something, but you're still a TURD
Grimm:I could read your mind but its in font size .5
Amadeus:Oh, and was there a cesserole (never mind spelling) involved?
Paddy:the fact that you didn't end up on a kids show makes me question my atheism
Dyldo: You evil strumpet!
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2008-04-04, 14:27
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Denimwearinghillbilly
Forum Leader
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Join Date: Jul 2002
Location: Bladel, Holland
Posts: 6,806
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during?! I hope you mean afterwards
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2009-03-04, 17:25
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New Blood
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Join Date: Mar 2009
Location: PHX,AZ
Posts: 5
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lol
lol, i doubt he meansafter, pretty sure he said during, i know someone that is the same way, go for a bit, and then go "smoke break" then back at it again, lol..
I agree with the word smoking being repeated too oft', but in general i like some of the imageries, cus i smoke a lot, and that is exactly why i smoke...
... i honestly have trouble believing that is talking only about cigarettes though... just the imagery in a couple lines screamed "this is no cigarette", lol
but thats prolly cus i smoke a lot of pipe tobacco as well.
Mk
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Lost In The Void Of Time,
From Yellow To Red
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2009-03-04, 22:17
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Post-whore
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Join Date: Oct 2006
Posts: 1,924
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Wow dude...just wow...get in the back seat and sit there for awhile.
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“Remember to live, eat, sleep and breathe music for the mind, play from your heart and never be swayed by the current trends.” ~Rusty Cooley
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2009-04-16, 05:25
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New Blood
Banned
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Join Date: Apr 2009
Posts: 1
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Hey
That is nice buddy, lets light up a cigg  |
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2009-04-16, 08:14
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Post-whore
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Join Date: Aug 2006
Location: Antwerp
Posts: 1,472
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Man, ADVANCED SPAM
__________________
So this Georgian Olympian runs into a bar
Aosoth - New album III out now on Agonia Recs
Epoch - bass, guitars, drums, MetaStasizing out asap
Asphixa - bass, demo out asap
Adustum - bass, guitars, full length out soon on XXXXXXXXXX recs
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Originally Posted by far_beyond_sane
Tetianblood? ... Well, 'Necrosemen' to you too. Twat.
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2009-05-01, 11:45
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Okay.
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Join Date: Nov 2004
Location: British Columbia, Canada
Posts: 4,137
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Quote:
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Originally Posted by jeffturner
That is nice buddy, lets light up a cigg |
wtf is up with all the links in your signature?
__________________
Quote:
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Originally Posted by Paddy
Chances are there have been Irish in every corner of the world, no matter how remote. Our semen is listed in the World Health Organisation's Big Book of Pestilential Materials.
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Quote:
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Originally Posted by CompelledToLacerate
God, the Japanese are so weird. This HAS to be the long term effects of the atom bombs. No one is that weird on purpose.
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Quote:
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Originally Posted by Gomli
The slams in that song always kill me. First time I heard that song I was like "Too much heaviness - brain collapse" but now I could murder my family to that one
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2009-05-01, 12:05
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Post-whore
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Join Date: Aug 2006
Location: Antwerp
Posts: 1,472
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Well, ADVANCED SPAM
__________________
So this Georgian Olympian runs into a bar
Aosoth - New album III out now on Agonia Recs
Epoch - bass, guitars, drums, MetaStasizing out asap
Asphixa - bass, demo out asap
Adustum - bass, guitars, full length out soon on XXXXXXXXXX recs
Quote:
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Originally Posted by far_beyond_sane
Tetianblood? ... Well, 'Necrosemen' to you too. Twat.
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2010-03-03, 12:51
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Senior Metalhead
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Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: FL
Posts: 304
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omg that was horrible.
and now it makes me want a fucking ciggarette.
& I'm in school, i can't have one 'till lunch in like 4 hours.
you should work for the tobacco company. |
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