I was thinking negative thoughts (which i shouldnt of) before my performance infront of the school, of what bad could happen to me..and then i thought i could create a thread about the really bad/bad things that could happen to u while performing this is my best one.

*ahem*

Ok your half way through your solo performance, and its going great, the crowd are really into this, and then your strap snaps, and your bass lands on the floor, and the fretboard snaps in half and the strings go flying..u bend down in embaressment, to pick it up, when your Huge 7ft 500 watt amp falls on you from behind..

Paints quite a picture doesent it?..if you have any negative thoughts to beat this one, or bad embaressing past experiences..please share..

Cheers

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Oh yeah I've had these kinda foolish incidents haha..

our vocalist pulled the cord out of my fx pedals twice even though I taped it down realllly good (he just ripped the cord out with the tape and it ended up 2 metres away, that sucked)
it looks stupid if you pick up the cord and put it in an play further, its just stupid!
I never have any jack-dropouts anymore, I tape the cord to my bass and I tie it to my bass amp so it won't drop out at that end.

ehm lemme think, I had a microphone that was kinda dead once and ehm I didn't have any more problems, well not yet eheh.

our guitarist had a blown-up amp once and our drummer had a drumkit that constantly moved because of the double bass pedals or something.

never had broken strings or a broken strap (I use straplocks and tape ehe)

Lol, just make up something negative, that would be hilarious if u were the observer. lol

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yeah hehe

a guy got pushed out of the moshpit, smacked his head into the monitor, the monitor fell of the stage, destroying the power cables it took with him,
huge-ass shock hazard, vocalist gets electrocuted, so does guitarist, he falls over, taking his peavey triple X amp with him, that falls on the drummers head, he's out cold and falls over forward with his head on the fx pedals so everything is fucked up,
the bassist ofcourse survives the menace

he gets hit by a truck on the way home

a guy is playing bass real hard, thrashing around. then the bass flys up, hits him in the mouth and the strings get caught on his braces. and he has a custom made bass that was made really heavy, so it falls off, pulling a few teeth along with it. the bends over to pick up the bass and his pants rip, now he's holding the bass and then he suddenly realises that theres a giant hole in his pants. in desparation, he trips, lands on the bass and gets sodomized.

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Lol nice one man, about the teeth, haha ok i got another one


Ok this guy is slapping his bass all around, when he pops the d string it snaps and whips him in the face, causing blindness, so he topples off the stage and lands gut first into the spare guitars at the bottom of the stage, as he impales himself on the top of a jackson(yeah ouch!) , as you hear the machineheads scraping past his bones.


kinda scrungy

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ok I got one:


A guy is playing bass in front of a huge crowd, when suddenly, a 300 pound gorilla jumps down from the ceiling and proceeds to rape him for like 2 hours. The man is beaten and bloody, and tries to crawl off stage, and the crowd is just watching in awe. Then, an elephant walks onto the stage and sits directly on the man's head. The elephant then walks away, while the man's head is up the elephant's ass, then he is dragged through the city, while all his friends watch as he is dragged by the head, finally he is pulled out by the horny gorilla who repeats the process in front of the man's friends........

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pretty cool

mine: you are playing a solo, everyone look at you, then you fall. ( your mama said you to tie your shoes )

or: your are playing, then for no reason, the bass get detuned....

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hahahahhaha, and it goes on and on and on....
here's mine:

a guy plays bass, and he's doing all these tricks and he ends up playing with his teeth/tongue. so, its around his mouth, then all of a sudden, this naked babe with the most beautiful tits gets up, the guy gets an erection. he's standing there in awe, when his bass falls down, breaks off of the straps, and lands on his penis. then it proceeds to fall to the floor, where the strings snap one by one, hitting him in his erection. SNAP!!! SNAP!! SNAP!!! SNAP!! SNAP!! SNAP!! oh yeah, its a 6 string

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ahh fuck man, that must cane..how can u think of that...well it just goes from the babe with the tits..and ur imagination wanders! lol

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Oooooh guys.

The worst that can happen for guitarists and bassists is getting a B.C.Rich head up your ass or into your crotch.
I'd prefer a 50kg-amp on my back or foot, or strings that snap in my face, than this fucking head in my rectum.

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hahah, yeah that's right, bc rich makes some nasty guitars that can inflict serious injuries! I do wanna continue to be able to produce baby's If you catch my drift

hehe, yeah dude

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How about this one -
Instead of playing a bass infront of a crowd you're playing a guitar.


okay, it's not funny but I believe I made a point.


+ yeah BC RICH makes some 'dangerous' guitars/ basses. I wanted a a warlock bass(it was 400 something dollars) once... but I spent most of my money on my guitar earlier... darn.

Haha, how about your jamming onstage playing one of your band's best songs, and are so into it that you don't notice the metal chick lesbian fest going on to the right and behind you, featuring Tarja, Angela Gassow, and a few select others...

Then they get up and go in the back as soon as the song gets to the end part, and you miss the whole damn thing.

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damn. that would really suck.

If someone tells me afterwards, i'd commit suicide!!!

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how about, the dudes thrashin real hard, sweatin up a storm, & it all runs down
in the electronics, catches fire, & and the whole place burns down.

Or how about your def and you blow up a 400 watt amp!

wow....

i dont care, take the least painful one of these and it still sucks, yeah and i definetly wouldnt be wishing that 6 string dick snap on anyone, lol

Lets hope this kinda stuff never happens to us

i got one, it didnt happen while i was playing but its good:


it was just after one practice, i was leaving the house with my bass in its softh case on may shoulder and the fucking case opened and the bass strikes really hard against the flour. my frends just couldnt stop of laughing. thas the wors thing have ever happne to me.

well once during a party, my pick get broken and i had to keep playin just whit a litle piece of it, thats whay i started to play with my fingrs.

you throw a guitar body into the air and attempt to spear it with your bass but you miss and it comes crashing down into your face giving you a minor concussion.

(hey, it happened to chris novoselic of nirvana).

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why dig up this dumb thread from almost a year ago?

you are comfortably dumb!.. put that in your signature.

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i didn't know it was a year old. It was only on the second page.
Comfortably_Dumb used to be my handle on another site. But you get an A for creativity.

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You know... people like you are quite stupid... When a guy continiue an old post, you get angry(oh fucking grave digger bla, bla, bla). And when a guy starts a thread who has allready been discussed, you tell him to look at that old thread.

There is to many pathetic bullshiters around at boards

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yuppie, my first signature appearance


Anyway C_N, you're an Artfag and probably have a mustache. Go out and fuck yourself.

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hahahahah.
Sorry doctor, There was no room in my sig. for that but i'm making it.

That's good. A fucking mustache...

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You're a fucking faggot, stop bring up old threads you nigger.

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it was only on the second page.
I think you just want the privalege of getting in my signature.
And sorry i have no more room in the sig. box.

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Why is it everyone keeps insulting you? (and with such weak insults as you clearly demonstrated)

Seriously though this thread is way off topic, I think Walpurgis should just lock it.

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he's off nuking stuff. and tattered also out of here so we prob. need a new mod or nomad should close it

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...cuz I'm different....
...

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because you are............GAY


Y.O.U.R.E. G.A.Y. YOUR GAY

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See now your insults are just plain unrealistic.
I love pussy, and eat and fuck one everyday (minus a week a month).
So, back to your hand....

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your posts are GAY too

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Do you have some suppressed emotions that may be coming out subconciously in your insults?

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Fuck me for bring this old thread back from the dead yet again, but this is some funny shit

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yeah right, why is everyone randommly slagging of UN? whats he done. and whats wrong with digging this thread up, it was a classic! and it still is... cant think of any funny unlucky things that can happen while ur on stage.. but i will soon! haha

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How about your standing there playing bass and you see a chick with big tits in the crowd. You decide to do a stage dive, but nobody catches you in the mosh pit so you land on your dick. Then the the moshing continues and you get trampled! SO DOES YOUR COCK!

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hahaha that would feel really great, the worst thing that can happen is walking on ur lead, and it coming out of the jack input on ur bass, or the amp.. thats gay.. never happened live tho, cos ive seen people do it, so i tuck it into my strap...

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Your using a wirless system and you start to pick up radio frequencies (like spinal tap)... those frequencies are from a local radio station that likes to play blink 182

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hahahahahahahah thats a classic BLS, that is pretty much the worst that can happen!.... case closed! haha.

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Pickup mounts brake lose and the pups gets stuck under and to the strings during a proformance making a horrible sound, over loads the amp and burns it up before you can disconect the guitar... that's my nightmare.

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you headbang in front of the drum set, the drumstick breaks and pokes you in the eye, half blind you stumble across the stage, the jack falls out, the straps break and the guitar hits the stage breaking the neck and one of the strings snaps out your other eye, you walk forward and land face first in a gay guys crotch

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haha, Thats a good one.

I was acually shocked badly once when I was trying out a friends amp and guitar, without a ground prong I learned painfully. I touched a metal door with my pick hand while holding the strings with the other. The strings burned an imprint on my hand. Now I fear all fender guitars and amps.

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my amp ( its old and shitty) doesnt eve have a ground prong, so if i plug it in the wtrong way like reversed i get shocked if i complete the circuit, that is, put my fretting hand and my picking hand on the strings. its not painful but annoying after awhile and if i touch the bridge then my hand spazs

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Try using a 100 watt amp with the electrical polartiy revervsed and touching a grounded door. Huge differences in protentual voltage! Talk about current! That fuckin hurt so bad I nearly shit my pants.

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going along with what soulinsane said, you could piss or shit your pants.

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that sucks the donkey shlong, i hope it never happens to me. haha imagine bieng fried by one of those old electric chairs.

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What's the worst that can happen?
http://www.b0g.org/wsnm/uploads/debili.jpg

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