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Old 2007-09-29, 13:55
Carl's Avatar
Senior Metalhead
Join Date: Apr 2006
Location: Sweden , Gothenburg
Posts: 256
Progressive Stuff.

I guess i listened to much to edge of sanity haha, i like it very much, though.
Hope you like it.
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Old 2007-09-30, 04:22
Valtiel's Avatar
Supreme Metalhead
Join Date: Mar 2006
Location: West Coast
Posts: 839
I REALLY liked the middle clean section of the song. Particularly when it changes at 1:10, I was expecting that distorted guitar volume swell to lead into another heavy riff so it was a nice surprise that it didnt. The transition into the clean parts at 0:20 isnt that great though, it dosent flow. The intro riff is cool, I think you you could do a little more with the strumming patterns maybe. The melodic riff following the clean parts is cool, I like the way you bring in each track. But it gets ruined when the drums come in. You're doing a good job of building the tension but then the drums come in and totally blow it. It feels like the drums are trying to be heavy, but they arent. Something half time I think would fit much better. The next riff is pretty cool, a little generic though. And the trem picked riff at the end just seems totally forced and out of place.

The main issue I see is that you set the bar pretty high with the clean passages. You're showing that you can construct a nice melody with atmosphere that keeps moving and stays fresh. Then you are continuing with good melodies with the next riff, but the drums come in and say "no more melody, its time to be really really heavy for no apparent reason." And then the guitars start to do the same thing and now the beautiful melodies you constructed earlier are IMO totally wasted.

I think this song has a lot of potential, you just need to work on a section that does the middle parts justice.
"So often our hands get caught up in ruts of muscle memory. 'Muscle memory' is an accurate term. We get used to doing certain things, without even being aware of them. This ultimately not only shapes and therefore limits our technique, it also shapes what we compose, what we write. We end up thinking still unknowingly trapped in that box." -Adam Nitti

Originally Posted by the_bleeding
buy a stick of graphite (art stores) and rub it into your nut
Old 2007-10-12, 19:04
Carl's Avatar
Senior Metalhead
Join Date: Apr 2006
Location: Sweden , Gothenburg
Posts: 256
Im glad you liked some parts of it.
About the drums, me and drums never work :P hehe, but when i got time i will try to fix the song a little bit, will follow your advice.

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