Barely dead – barely alive. The panic hits as I open my eyes.
Catatonic despair, frustration rapes my soul.

Almost no room for movement; to narrow on each of the sides.

Desperately pounding on the walls around me.
Desperately looking for a way out here.

As I light up the room in wich I’m laying.
I find that I have been... Been buried alive!

Been buried alive! X2

Extensive shaking begins as I realise
that a rotten corpse lies beside me. It’s flesh –

half devoured by a thousand maggots. I vomit in frustration and despair.

The stench is unbareable.

Panic – pounding and beating on the walls.
I begin to scream – someone please hear me
Panic – pounding and beating on the walls
Somone hear me!

The stench is unbareable.

It’s getting harder to breath – I’m gasping for air.
The maggots’ sting my skin.
'Realising that this is where I will be taking my last breath.

Panic – pounding and beating on the walls.
I begin to scream – someone please hear me.
Panic – pounding and beating on the walls.
Somone hear me!

The air is closing in – my hands and feet turns numb.
Silently panicing – I don’t want to die...

this sucks. old.old.old.old.old.old.old.old.old.ol.dodldoldodlvbvn

poorly written at that.

Yeah, it may sound a little old but it's legit. Sounds like one of my worst nightmares. I'm curious as to what inspired this.

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yeah, what inspired this? was it cannibal corpse? was it a thousand million other bands with songs about being buried alive? was it his pent up anger at his parents? was it television? oh god, who knows? the suspense is killing me!

Barely dead – barely alive. The panic hits as I open my eyes.


This didn't suck. The rest, pft.

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Your one to be critiquing anyones work in such way, look at the undesirable four lines you write ever other week.

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no, it didn't
it was good old-school lyrics.
nothing groundbreaking, but still good

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I can't make this an official rule (actually I can, but I don't want to), but could you guys do me a favor and just ignore whatever Infinity says in these threads and give us a critique of the original poem/set of lyrics without the critique of his critique? Or, failing that, can it be an argument rather than a little bitch about what he said and how he's an asshole?

It's hard to write viscerally about something you've never experienced and never will. I'd want these lyrics to make me feel confined and they don't make me feel shit.

Well... I do realise that the lyrics aren't at all groundbreaking; and I have to admit, I never spend alot of time writing lyrics.. I just thought I'd post it and perhaps get some critique. I mainly focus on how the flows are working alongside the music. This is actually the only "gore" lyrics I've ever written. But thanks the respons anyways.

I'll put up another one that I'm working on at the moment.
Guess I don't need to say this, but feel free to say what u think about it.