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Old 2007-06-23, 04:16
ZRO's Avatar
Senior Metalhead
Join Date: Jun 2006
Posts: 354
My friends lyrics.

Just wanted to sea what you guys thought of his lyrics.

"Weaver of Vitality"

In place where spirits claim to lend a helping hand
but just a taste of this forces me to reprimand
my thoughts, my conscience, my every triggering memory
where every flashing image ruins my self harmony
A blankened mind I seek, this blackened mind is weak
and exclamation comes with every word I speak
do these overwhelming words not reach your ears?
often i speak what you tend not to hear...

You water..
and every shade of black is a layer of lies

In this vulnerable state I've been pushed and cast into
you're capable of breaching and walking through
and the fewest days go by, but I just can't count them
I can't simplify my efforts and just go without then
I never seem to fade it's true.. and when I imagine you..
a blurred vision begins to sneak into my sight
so I close my eyes to eliminate every shade of light...

You water..
and every shade of black is a layer of lies

Maybe I should just absorb your advice
wallow and roam a fakened paradise
but I'm too fucking restless to settle this catastrophic
moment you reap because you seem to feed off it
and shadows return to surface my flaws
covering and shining down on my fangs and claws
and you're feeding off it..testing my monstrosity
consuming my misery and claiming the ability...

My flaws catch you're eye, and you're feeding off them..
my every sin rests in your palms, you feed off them..
you're reaping their exile, surfacing every vengeful action..
and you're feeding off...them..

Chaotic and merciless emotion endured
the darkened water just seeps through the floor
the sound of viscious groans loud as can be
every thought remaining held is catching up to me
this glee ascends, breaking open the shell
of every built up parasite..descending this hell..

Wedding two...weaving one...
one from the other..only one unravels..
wedding two...decieving one..
one from the other..only one fades away..
wedding two...depriving one..
one from the other..only one walks away..
wedding two...destroying one..
one from the other..only one smiles today..

You water..
and every shade of black is a layer of lies
You water..
and every shade of black is a layer of lies
You water..
and every shade of black is a layer of lies
You water..
and every shade of black is a layer of lies
Old 2007-06-23, 05:01
Join Date: Sep 2005
Location: terra firma
Posts: 6,940
Originally Posted by PST 88
Submit only original pieces. The point of this forum is to show your work and receive constructive criticism on it, not to reproduce copyrighted material in a sue-happy age because you happen to like it. I'll allow it as comparative criticism, since that should only require a line or two excerpt to be held up against the original piece in question, but aside from that expect all posts containing lyrics by your favorite band to be deleted.

There you go.
Old 2007-06-23, 15:55
PST 88's Avatar
PST 88
Forum Daemon
Forum Leader
Join Date: Aug 2001
Posts: 4,982
That's a prohibition against posting the lyrics of bands you like, which are copyrighted, not against posting those by somebody you know and who'd allow you to do so.
Old 2007-06-23, 16:10
Infinity's Avatar
Life is pain.
Join Date: Jun 2004
Location: Australia
Posts: 4,510
Old 2007-06-29, 09:12
blitz906's Avatar
Join Date: Nov 2004
Location: British Columbia, Canada
Posts: 4,137
Originally Posted by Infinity

A 'one word critic'... I think we have just witnessed the beginning of a brilliant writers career
Originally Posted by Paddy
Chances are there have been Irish in every corner of the world, no matter how remote. Our semen is listed in the World Health Organisation's Big Book of Pestilential Materials.
Originally Posted by CompelledToLacerate
God, the Japanese are so weird. This HAS to be the long term effects of the atom bombs. No one is that weird on purpose.
Originally Posted by Gomli
The slams in that song always kill me. First time I heard that song I was like "Too much heaviness - brain collapse" but now I could murder my family to that one

Last edited by blitz906 : 2007-07-01 at 10:56.

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