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Old 2007-05-28, 16:18
Pr0az's Avatar
Pr0az
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Join Date: Oct 2006
Posts: 1,924
Nameless Night Edit

Smoke another cigarette.
Feel so much regret.
As i smell the vodka on her breath.
Just taking death as it comes.
Slowly dying young.

I've out grown my stay.
I cannot wait.
To get away.

As we lay down.
I cannot feel.
I grow so numb.
As i look into those empty eyes.
I don't let you through my barrier.
As your blue eyes stare,
I look away.

I've out grown my stay.
I cannot wait.
To get away.

No one can see.
The emptiness I feel.
I've grown so old,
As i take this on.
I become
so torn in this place.


I've out grown my stay.
i cannot wait.
To get away.

Late night stay again.
I wake up through with this.
I see her
arm around me
and I don't even know her name.
As she tries to get in my barrier.
Another backseat cruise you are.


edited it up a bit....maybe some new people can check it out.
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“Remember to live, eat, sleep and breathe music for the mind, play from your heart and never be swayed by the current trends.” ~Rusty Cooley
 
Old 2007-06-06, 16:22
L,B'XXX's Avatar
L,B'XXX
dsnt trust ne1 < 30
 
Join Date: Jan 2003
Location: Home is where the <3 is
Posts: 8,881
I think I'd leave out the "No one can see..." stanza or reword it a little. The line "As i take this on." bothers me. The rest is pretty smokey and mellow.
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-wally: Mom, you shouldn't play after me because it makes you sound even worse than you already do. -wally:*grumbles and whispers quietly* I guess it's cuz I love you or something, but you're still a TURD
Grimm:I could read your mind but its in font size .5
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Paddy:the fact that you didn't end up on a kids show makes me question my atheism
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