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2007-05-24, 14:51

Infinity

Life is pain.

Banned

Tabs: 30 · Score: 4.37

Join Date: Jun 2004

Location: Australia

Posts: 4,510

Random

I sorta just wanted to throw something together real quick with no real theme... this is it.

Your tongue
Those words
My spine
Goes cold
I turn
Away
My head
Is bowed

In the end you know it's gone
Although I try to hold on
All that's left to walk from
Is the hollow skeleton

Looking
Down at
My feet
Listen
Find the
Will to
Carry
This on

Already I know what you say is all wrong
But I'll keep coming back to you to hear you sing another song

In the end you know it's gone
Although I try to hold on
All that's left to walk from
Is the hollow skeleton

Hating this
Feeling
My thoughts
Fleeting
This verse
Makes my
Heart stop
Beating

2007-05-28, 08:30

Enoch-666

New Blood

Join Date: Jan 2006

Posts: 25

yeah .. now you got it.. this is the shit..you had me from "your tongue" lol

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2007-05-28, 17:47

PST 88

Forum Daemon

Forum Leader

Join Date: Aug 2001

Posts: 4,982

Get rid of 'to you' in the 'but I'll keep coming back' line. Fucks up the rhythm.

2007-05-29, 19:17

Unanything

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Location: Ballater, Scotland, UK.

Posts: 1,128

I never read poetry for rhythm, only the words themselves.

Melody and harmony before rhythm.

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Quote:

Originally Posted by fatdanny

Also, check out Autopsy, the vocalist sounds like hes about to eat your grandmother while fucking you in the eye. Brutal.

Quote:

Originally Posted by floridadude

I coated the end of a toothpick with Satan's blood and simply wiped it across the top of an omelet. PERFECT!

2007-05-30, 09:22

PST 88

Forum Daemon

Forum Leader

Join Date: Aug 2001

Posts: 4,982

Right. They exist in vacuums.

2007-05-30, 10:42

Infinity

Life is pain.

Banned

Tabs: 30 · Score: 4.37

Join Date: Jun 2004

Location: Australia

Posts: 4,510

Quote:

Originally Posted by Unanything

I never read poetry for rhythm, only the words themselves.

Melody and harmony before rhythm.

why not read a dictionary?

2007-06-08, 08:46

blitz906

Okay.

Tabs: 1 · Score: 0.00

Join Date: Nov 2004

Location: British Columbia, Canada

Posts: 4,137

Sounds kinda... emo. Got me all teary

lol

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Quote:

Originally Posted by Paddy

Chances are there have been Irish in every corner of the world, no matter how remote. Our semen is listed in the World Health Organisation's Big Book of Pestilential Materials.

Quote:

Originally Posted by CompelledToLacerate

God, the Japanese are so weird. This HAS to be the long term effects of the atom bombs. No one is that weird on purpose.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Gomli

The slams in that song always kill me. First time I heard that song I was like "Too much heaviness - brain collapse" but now I could murder my family to that one

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