this is my first post, i have just joined a band as a vocalist and was wonderin what you think of my writing i need practice i no. can u give me any tips?

barriers of skin

voices of irrational thought
tempt me beyond my reason
cut you deep within
stay between the lines
dig through barriers of skin

you have felt my blade
now you know my name
you are all the same
insecure nonentity
scrape the flesh from your bones
you are all the same
and togeather you will
decompose

i have preped your lungs
for unconcious screaming
i find your lack of dismembered
limbs unpleasing...
to your face i take this hatchet
bones and limbs are separated
mounds of flesh disregarded
this is all your fault

so sleep...
so sound
untill..
blood on your lungs
disturbs
your peacefulness

the encounter is swift
but the message firm
expected yet unwelcomed
eyes on me can burn


thats it. let me know what you thought. i know its not the greatest, but im trying to learn.
so if anyone could give me some tips or pointers or suggestion for this song plez feel free.

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That is a great song mate!!! Id die to be able to write anything half decent, that sounds awsome Sounds like somethin meshuggah or carnal forge would write, pretty fucking awsome!!!!!

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I personally am sick to death of well..."death" lyrics, they're just so cliche and monotonous 99% of the time. On the other hand, congratulations because I actually read the whole thing, where as usually I get bored and stop. On the overall lyric scale I'd give it a 2 out 10, in the death genre 7 out of 10

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think happy thoughts, its kinda good, but i hate the negativity and slay feeling so drink a beer, cheer up and write about the good things in your life so i can actually smile while reading this instead of thinking 'dude.....' while waving my head.

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its death/gore kinda stuff, it's supposed to be negative and stuff...

I like hardcore lyrics much more, I'll post some new stuff next month, I'm working on some new stuff...

anyways the lyrics are okay, though, not my style so I can't really judge them

thanks for the reply's.
id like to read some death metal lyrics about happy things...

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OK, Anal Cunts "Picnic Of Love" album :

1. Picnic Of Love

I want to go by the river
And put a blanket on the grass
I'll pour my heart and soul
Into your wine glass

I'll kiss you for an appetizer
And love you for the meal
Then I'll ask for your hand in marriage
As I look up lovingly and kneel

I wanna take you on a picnic
A picnic of love under the blue sky above
Love, Love, Love

Even the ants and the squirrels
They can tell we're in love
My heart soars like
The wing of a dove

We'll take a walk
Through the forests and the trees
And then we'll lie down
With the birds and the bees

I wanna take you on a picnic
A picnic of love under the blue sky above
Love, Love, Love


2. I Respect Your Feelings As A Woman And A Human

I was watering my rose garden and you walked by my place
I almost ran up to you in a lustful, unsensitive haste
I almost cried cause I acted so insensitive
But I wanted you to know about the feather-soft warmth I could give

I respect your feelings
I respect your gender
I respect your existence
I'll always be tender
Cause I respect your feelings
As a woman and a human

I'll be the pansy-growing gardener of our bouquet of love
A flower-wielding soldier with the grace of a dove
I'll love you all, heart, mind and soul, I'd never think of anything cheap
I'll read you some of my poems before you go to sleep

I respect your feelings
I respect your gender
I respect your existence
I'll always be tender
Cause I respect your feelings
As a woman and a human


3. I Wanna Grow Old With You

I wanna wake up with you every day of my life
I'm oh so glad that you're my loving wife
I don't know what I'd do if you ever left me
I'd be worse than a ship lost at sea

Oh baby, you
I wanna grow old with you
My love for you, baby
Will always be true

When you're sick I'll be by your side with some tender loving care
Through all the good times, and when the cupboard is bare
When the baby is crying, I'll let you stay in bed
I'll honor every promise that I ever said

Oh baby, you
I wanna grow old with you
My love for you, baby
Will always be true

[Spoken:]
And on that sad day when one of us will depart
I'll be full of despair, it'll break my heart
But when I look back to our hopes, our dreams, and our love
I'll be glad to be reunited in the heavens above

Oh baby, you
I wanna grow old with you
My love for you, baby
Will always be true


4. Saving Ourselves For Marriage

I saw your deep blue eyes from afar
I saw you at the church bazaar
I asked the priest to introduce me to your mother
And I asked her to introduce us to each other

I asked you to go on a picnic of our own
But you insisted on taking a chaperone
I apologized for being so bold and rude
So I invited your parents for lemonade and food

We're saving ourselves
Saving ourselves for marriage
Saving ourselves, for a baby carriage
Restraining ourselves, till the moment's right
Saving ourselves, for our wedding night

After four years of dating, I decided to take a risk
I held both your hands, and kissed your rose-petaled lips
We stared into each others' eyes, wondering what was next
But we knew not to ruin our love with pre-marital sex

We're saving ourselves
Saving ourselves for marriage
Saving ourselves, for a baby carriage
Restraining ourselves, till the moment's right
Saving ourselves, for our wedding night

Years went by, our courtship was grand
One day I asked your father for your hand
I'd never treat you like an object, only like a lady
I'd never consider having sex, except to have a baby

We're saving ourselves
Saving ourselves for marriage
Saving ourselves, for a baby carriage
Restraining ourselves, till the moment's right
Saving ourselves, for our wedding night


5. Greed Is Something That We Don't Need

Help! This is Mother Earth!
Somebody please help me!

The corporations don't even care
While the rain forests go bare
Oil spills & tanker wrecks
Don't show the sea creatures any respect

The park turned into a parking lot
The woods turned into a shopping mall
The swimming hole turned into a sewer dump
Isn't there anyone who cares at all?

Greed, greed, greed, greed, greed
Greed is something that we don't need

You stand by and watch the corporate rape
But not me, I made this tape
After 12 years of Bush & Reagan
We've become an insensitive nation

The park turned into a parking lot
The woods turned into a shopping mall
The swimming hole turned into a sewer dump
Isn't there anyone who cares at all?

Greed, greed, greed, greed, greed
Greed is something that we don't need

Corporate greed, rape and crime
The laws are stepped on all the time
Polluting the water, they don't even think
But their money won't help when there's none left to drink

The park turned into a parking lot
The woods turned into a shopping mall
The swimming hole turned into a sewer dump
Isn't there anyone who cares at all?

Greed, greed, greed, greed, greed
Greed is something that we don't need


6. I'm Not That Kind Of Boy

I was selling flowers by the side of the road
And you came to the flower stand
I was telling you about pansies and roses
But you tried to grab my hand

I'm flattered, but it's my choice
Sorry, I'm not that kind of boy
You may see a heart as a toy
Sorry, I'm not that kind of boy

You think love is a game, whatever you wish
But for me it's years till that magical first kiss
I'll wait until my heart's on cloud nine
Your lust-filled existence is far out of line

I'm flattered, but it's my choice
Sorry, I'm not that kind of boy
You may see a heart as a toy
Sorry, I'm not that kind of boy

You dared to ask me for a date alone
I was shocked you didn't want a chaperone
You were attractive, but way too fast
How could you expect this to ever last?

I'm flattered, but it's my choice
Sorry, I'm not that kind of boy
You may see a heart as a toy
Sorry, I'm not that kind of boy


7. I Couldn't Afford To Buy You A Present (So I Wrote You This Song)

I couldn't afford to buy you a present so I wrote you this song
I want all the lovers of the world to help me sing along
I'm only a simple man; I never made much money
But I've got a wealth of love to share with you honey

When I think of an angel I think of your face
I want to make sweet love to you by the fireplace
I want to be your architect of your castle of love
I'll never take for granted my gift from above

We'll take a ride through the foliage
Watch the leaves turn orange and brown
Woman, I never thought I'd say this
But I want to settle down

I wish we were on a deserted island
Just me and you
I'd climb right up a tree
And get a coconut for you


8. I'd Love To Have Your Daughter's Hand In Marriage

Please Sir, let me court your daughter
I'll treat her like the way I oughta
When I take her out I'll have her home by ten
I'll treat her better than the rest of the men

I'd love to have your daughter's hand in marriage
I'd love to push around a baby carriage
I wanna shake your hand & call you dad
I'll never make your daughter sad

I want to carry her books home from school
I'll put my jacket over a puddle for you
I'll be your shelter in the worst of any storm
I'll always be there to keep you safe & warm


9. My Woman, My Lover, My Friend

You were my high school sweetheart and my girl next door
You've been my lifelong best friend and so much more
We matured into each other's arms, we were never apart
You blossomed into the woman who owned my heart

You're my woman, my lover, my friend

I pushed you on swings, we played in the sand
I bought you ice cream from the ice cream man
I looked at you like a gardener looks at a flower
I would stare out my window at you for hours

You're my woman, my lover, my friend
You're my woman, my lover, my friend

You are my tender loving juice fruit, my reason to live
My heart's like a butterfly with flowers to give
I remember looking back to our high school prom
When I shook your dad's hand and gave flowers to your mom

You're my woman, my lover, my friend

I showered you with love, flowers and pearls
And you've given birth to our baby girls
You're my succulent sweet buttercup, and more importantly my friend
We're inseparable love cuddlebunnies til the very end

You're my woman, my lover, my friend
You're my woman, my lover, my friend


10. Waterfall Wishes

When I look through the waterfall I see your eyes
Brings out feelings in me, girl, I just can't hide
With a smile on my heart and a flower in my hand
Girl, I'd love to be with you on a ???

When it rains I'll be your umbrella
I'm so glad to be your fella
I'm gonna take you to the zoo
I'm so in love with you

I've got waterfall wishes every day
I've got waterfall wishes, makes me happy but afraid
I've got waterfall wishes all day and night
I've got waterfall wishes to make you feel alright

If I were a pirate, you'd be my hook
About our tender lovemaking, girl, I could write a book
You're the sparkle in my wine and the pea in my pod
When we get together, girl, it'll be real hot

When it rains I'll be your umbrella
I'm so glad to be your fella
I'm gonna take you to the zoo
I'm so in love with you

I've got waterfall wishes every day
I've got waterfall wishes, makes me happy but afraid
I've got waterfall wishes all day and night
I've got waterfall wishes to make you feel alright


11. In My Heart There's A Star Named After You

As I look out the window, at the lights in the sky
It brings back the memories, and a tear to my eye

I see a star that we picked, as the landmark of our love
Our love would never die, as long as it was lit above

In my heart there's a star named after you
It's still inside me, even though that we're through
You were my angel, my gift from heaven above
But that star's all I have left of our past love

We'd lie under that star, on many a soft clear night
We'd lie on the green, green grass and hold each other tight
Until my actions eclipsed the sunshine of your love
All my apologies, they would never be enough




I havent actually heard the album but there ya go

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hahaaha
thats some funny shit! so are they death metal?
i guess it doesnt really matter what the lyrics are about.
happy or sad.

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Its a grindcore band actually, just a pardoy band pretty much tho, lots of...how do ya put it.......noise...

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picnic of love is a ballad album with little voice, and only accoustic guitar
BUT
in the last song (In My Heart There's a Star Named After You) the "singer" screams over the accoustic riff (he almost scream like in others songs)

It's kind of Joke album..but by a joke band

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