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Hahaha now that you mention it, I do hear some similarities between Malmsteen and the old ZX Spectrum loading screens

LOL I've never understood what groupies find so attractive about flashy guitarists, beyond the possibility that fast guitar work is some sort of alternative to stomping up and down, beating your chest. Then again, Ted Bundy getting several hundred marriage proposals when he was on Death Row just complicates the question even further. "I know you brutally murder women, then fuck their still-warm corpses, but shit, I can change ya!"

Haha! Yeah, it's strange. But it seems that flashy arrogant musicians and criminals are capable of making women produce exorbitant amounts of vaginal secretions.

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There's no fucking justice. After hearing about Bundy I decided to strangle a woman I had a crush on and all I got in return was community service

ROFLZ.

Stop hanging out with Chris Barnes... he's a really shitty influence

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That nigga owes me five dollars!

For weed?

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He bet me $5 that I couldn't hide a banana, and refused to pay when I stuck it in his wife's ass.

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http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1upZ...feature=related

Greatest cover ever.

Holy shit.. thats Turbonegro? What I've heard from them sounds totallly different and polished.

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Yeah, that one's from their SUPER PUNK ROCK album Ass Cobra.


They rrrrrradically changed styles since then, and on purpose ("we already made the punk rock album of the millennium, so we didn't want to make Ass Cobra part 2, so we ended up making the rock album of the millennium this time")


Seriously, check out Ass Cobra. Brilliant stuff.

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I will as it sounds great. However, the new stuff I heard sucked more than the vague memories I have of my pacifier being replace by a penis.

OH GOD WHAT DID I JUST TYPE?

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Yeah not a terrific fan of those other albums either. Scandinavian Leather still has some awesome songs on it though.

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Footage of a "real" exorcism:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=x4n9vK0_mdk

Well, I don't know about you guys, but I'm convinced. Demons clearly burrowed into this girl's mind and caused her to make a sound similar to that made by a burning cow, which, as I understand it, is one of the hallmarks of the demonic forces which like to possess people. It's kinda like a demonic ringtone, if you will. If you won't, you can fuck right off.

In the immortal words of George Carlin:

HOLY SHIT.

Lol, hey don't hate the player hate the game. Nothing wrong with a lil'bit o flashness(for you paddy) to get in a warm spot.

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Muhahaha my brainwashing scheme is coming to fruition!

LOOK!

http://www.whygodhatesme.com/wp-con...aelll__opt1.jpg

I fucked him/her with my dick, and I didn't even want to, but I did it anyway!!

Zombie bugs!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qN2X...player_embedded

Absolutely amazing (and terrifying). Evolution at its most bizarre. Maybe after another million years it'll change its prey to humans. If only we could be so lucky!

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Agreed, that's pretty harrowing. I actually felt pity for the cockroach haha. I've seen similar things on nature programs, including parasites that literally assume control of the entire body of a slug and provoke birds into eating them, because their aim is to get transport or something like that.

Does anyone know of any websites or documentaries where it's just wall-to-wall weirdness like this clip? That shit's fascinating

wow. that would be the worst possible way to die.

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Word to the muthafuckin' beat! I'd rather die of a prolapsed rectum with face-AIDS than to be kept alive for weeks on end, having little kids digging lumps of meat outta my back any time they feel peckish.

I genuinely want to be this guy's friend:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GWkKAQxe2mc

Unfortunately he died a few years back. His name's Israel Kamakawiwo'ole (£10 to the first person to figure out how to pronounce it).

I die a little inside every time I hear about a guy like this popping his clogs.

I die a little inside every time I see something like this:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8LWhV-Wr-RM

Holy mother of god.

Anyone like Bill Bailey?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0uGCJ1oxrRE

Anyone like Bill Bailey now? It could go either way, to be honest haha.

I bet you've never seen this.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rK-N...re=channel_page

Why so complicated?

I mean......wow

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i'm so glad i watched that

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Hahahaha that's fucking amazing. How in the name of St. Fuckery did evolution not kill these little guys off?? It's such a bizarre, complicated (as Gomli said) process. Nature never ceases to amaze!

Did you now that the common garden slug gets its rocks off by producing a little dagger and stabbing its mate with it? Much to my dismay it doesn't really work with humans. 4,000 years community service. Fuck.

Cracked.com's entire agenda is dedicated to making "Top 10" lists of weird/frightening/awesome things.

Examples:
7 species that get more high than we do: http://www.cracked.com/article_1703...than-we-do.html
5 ways your brain is messing with your head: http://www.cracked.com/article_1710...-your-head.html
5 greatest things ever accomplished while high: http://www.cracked.com/article_1653...while-high.html
15 images you won't believe aren't photoshopped: http://www.cracked.com/article_1655...otoshopped.html
*TAKES BREATH*
5 most badass presidents of all time: http://www.cracked.com/article_1589...s-all-time.html
6 insane discoveries that science can't explain (love this one): http://www.cracked.com/article_1687...nt-explain.html
7 most horrifying parasites on the planet: http://www.cracked.com/article_1719...-on-planet.html

You get the point. And there are hundreds of articles. I've been reading that site for the last few months daily and haven't managed to get through all of them yet. Usually at the end of every article there are some links to a couple of articles that are similar so its very easy to start reading and then look at the clock and realize you haven't moved for 2 hours.

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Fuck, nice one! I love this shit, it'll keep me occupied for weeks

Thanks chief!

That place is great. It was a little better when it was pointlesswasteoftime.com (it still redirects), but still funny has hell none the less.

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Darko, that is the BEST thing ever

Damn, I'm reading through all of those links right now

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People actually don't know about the existence of Cracked? That's like not knowing 4chan or Reddit exist.

I remember when that stuff was all "underground" and not very popular. Not that It matters, but 13 year olds shouting internet phrases (specifically 4chan memes) everywhere pisses me off.

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I used to buy Cracked magazines when I was a kid..I see that they aren't making them anymore.

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Glad I could spread the Crack..wait.

Dumbest fucking vessel on the planet: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OR8n...player_embedded

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Wow... does she usually take things that out of context?! Figures of speech must kick her ass on a daily basis.

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Hot and stupid! Perfect!

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http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=L1YPyMXHKjg

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Touché.

"Known for his unique style. Reh Dogg brings a sense of realness that his fans relate to." Doesn't the person who owns the channel fill in this information? Writing about oneself in the third person is a sign of megalomania, said Paddy with his almost uncanny level of awesomeness.

My main concern about this clip is that this man is armed and whacky.

Well, I was just posting some other media that I thought was funny.

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I'm not trying to be a dick or anything, but do you reckon Reh Dogg has learning difficulties or something? I've watched a few of his other vids and he appears fine (if talentless), but there's something about him in this vid that just doesn't seem right.

EDIT: Clearly he has hired Reagan from The Exorcist to do some backing vocals haha.

Apparently it's just like a mini mall:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FJ3oHpup-pk

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How Canadian. Chasing beaver... and drinking bear. But where's the big 4x4 Rover and shotgun?


The original always was the best; after all this time I still say this is some of the creepiest shit ever to hit a screen.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xaBJ...feature=related

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Pfft, shotgun Most of us have these now

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Known to many as the greatest man to ever walk the Earth, Chris Rezendes is respected by his peers and admired by all large breasted women. Chris has been known to enjoy the Reh Dogg song "Why Must I Cry?" for well over a year now, but acknowledged that, unlike similar artist Wesley Willis, he probably couldn't listen to a full Reh Dogg album. While busy acing his exams, righting wrongs everywhere he goes, and being buff, ripped, and remarkably well hung, he also notes that "Torture Demon Hell Ride" and "Shake Your Piggy Bank" are seminal classics in the rock music genre.

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Chris you gotta stop letting your mum use your account

It was bound to happen sooner or later:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=J3gpIxRj7Kw

3rd person ≠ megalomania
3rd person = TOTAL WIN

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Paddy read Chris' post with an air of indifference, given that his important work for the government and the porn he had open in another Firefox tab was distracting him. With the combined grace and skill of four ninjas he responds, and with that single act of heroism and charity he is immediately vaulted to legendary status and is the envy of every really big breasted woman whose breasts are so massive and not veiny at all that they put to shame Chris' "bin bag from a breast cancer clinic" sex doll substitute. Paddy finished his post by writing "Paddy finished his post by writing..." and as awesomely as he had arrived, he was GONE!

"Please don't be alarmed", said Paddy, "erections at this stage are perfectly normal and don't make you gay."

Joe put away his penis immediately, for Paddy's final comment made him uncomfortable. Looking up north of the center of the screen, he was reminded that the thread that he was currently visiting was the YouTube thread. My, how these things sneak up on you! Joe had completely forgotten this after being distracted by the 3rd person posts that preceded his own.

Joe quickly remembered the youtube symphony mashup that he had heard about. He copy and pasted the link into the message box: YouTube Symphony Mashup

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Chris was left so flaccid by Paddy's response that there was no doubt to the many large-assed and busty Brazilian women in his bedroom that he was utterly unimpressed. He yawned with such disinterest that only being smothered in the righteous bust of his #1 fan, London Andrews, while simultaneously having Morbid Angel perform their upcoming album for him in it's entirety could jolt him back to a cogent state.

Upon this pleasant jarring, Chris couldn't help but note that, across the sea, many people living in inferior countries such as Ireland must be overwhelmingly envious of his success and raw pimpdom. Chris then impregnated every woman in his zipcode with his superior DNA and left to impede the would-be volcanic eruption that would have destroyed all of Hawai'i, it's many righteously buxom women, and all of Don Ho's records. Hawai'i agreed that Chris has far more important things to do than wank around on some stupid online forum and the entire state laughed heartily at the notion that some were doing just that.

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Paddy laughed heartedly at Joe's feeble attempt to appear as if he was anything but turned on by Paddy's post. So much so, in fact, that his rectum gave leave to a not unreasonable amount of audible moisture. The fact that Joe's penis was already out implies that Joe usually extracts much sexual pleasure from the reading of Paddy's posts, and with the almost criminal nature of Paddy's previous posts under consideration, it's unrealistic to assume that "bin bag from a breast cancer clinic sex doll" proved to be too much for Joe's libido.

However, Paddy privately conceded that this was indeed the YouTube thread, and that his masterful third-personage wasn't entirely relevant. So, with humility, humbleness and all-around great guyness, he watched Joe's video. "Hark!" said Paddy, "I have seen the face of mediocrity, and its name is YouTube Mash Up something-or-other". He pondered quietly, and then aloud, about the fact that he will undoubtedly be persecuted for his severe displeasure in all things that are considered "fun/interesting/worthwhile by obligation."

"I care not" said Paddy with great ease, because he's good at English and such, "that thousands of people gave up their precious time on this earth to try to impress me, for everyone must surely know by now that if impressing me is the objective, they should have instead spent their time naked with midgets".

Paddy ended his post in the same manner in which he ends his partly-consensual sexual encounters - by gently tapping his now-flaccid member rhythmically upon Joe's forehead, making that lovely wet thudding sound. Because Joe is in not currently in the room, his avatar bore the brunt of the thumpage.

Fuck, Paddy noticed that Chris replied just as he was about to post his ownage:

Paddy wondered if Chris applied the same scathing criticism of time wasted on a forum to his biographer, who clearly possesses a writing talent which completely overkills the rancid drivel of his subject matter.

Ireland ceased being inferior, Paddy mused to himself, on the 24th November 1983. For on that day the birth of a man destined for greatness took place. Said greatness would be complemented by a sperm count so high that any woman who was to partake of it would have to chew before she swallowed. But alas, his meaty spunk was to be saved for a special woman, the only woman worthy of such a feast, forsaking all others and breaking many a heart. That woman was, of course, Chris' grandma's grandson's mama. And feast she did. She was so stricken by her encounter with Paddy that she purchased an Irish poetry book by way of remembering the day she was packed tight with wriggling mini-peeps. For this, Chris shall eternally despise the Irish nation, because he knows deep in his heart that a "lowly Irishman" accomplished something that he can only dream of - injecting pudding mix into his mother's gullet.

Paddy remembers when Chris came to Ireland to seek his revenge - not by killing Paddy himself, because Chris knew Paddy could never be killed with conventional laser beams - but to seduce his mother in the hopes of evening the score. Unfortunately for Chris, Paddy had split his mother in two during birth, owing to the grand slithering anaconda-like penis he was cursed with which tore the guts out of her like nobody's business. Chris retreated, defeated and humiliated so much so that his only refuge from the bleak, heartbreaking reality of his life was to develop megalomaniac personality syndrome and discuss himself in the third-person, thus distancing himself from the man he never wanted to be.

Plus Morbid Angel performed TWO of their albums for Paddy, privately and with midgets, before they were released. The midgets, that is.

The only thing Paddy ever released was a large packet of semen onto his monitor screen upon reading Chris's posts, as well as a disturbingly loud and foul-smelling roar from his bowels that manifested itself into the preceding post.

Though Chris admits his disappointment in the Irish heritage of his father, it pales in comparison to that same man's Portuguese, German, and French blood. After all, for all the stupidity and evil commited by Irishmen all over the world, their utter ineptitude will see that it bears no relevance on the actual well being of the world. On the other hand, Portuguese slave traders, Nazis, and, well, French people in general, not only continuously drain the world of all goodwill and wholesomeness, but perpetuate an evil so deep that the only true vengeance to be exacted upon them is by cursing them with incredibly hideous dialects.

Thusly, Chris never bothered to travel to Ireland, just as much for it's depressing, bog-like atmosphere that the sun bothers not shine on and it's raging, country-wide alcoholism as it's complete irrelevance and the putrid, permeating stench of gin induced vomit. Meanwhile, the women of Norway, the Czech Republic, Brazil, Japan, Mexico, and Puerto Rico can all attest to his genitalactic superiority (not that he'd need it over an Irishman!), having spent much time competing for his rod-laying skills during his many trips to save their countries from natural disasters and, of course, terrorism.

His skills as a superheroic strongman and skilled lover notwistanding, Chris is easily the greatest two human beings on the face of the planet. His intellect has been declared as "immeasurably high" by the mighty Stephen Hawking, and his physical beauty surpasses that of the next 50 best looking people combined. It is widely rumored that Chris's proven immortality has nothing to do with his desire to live forever and is instead caused by the terror he inflicts on death itself. It is no wonder, then, that those suffering from the Irish curse and a psychological inferiority complex would retreat to false bravado and delusions of grandeur in a vain attempt to compete with the undisputed Emperor of the Universe.

In most countries, Chris's name is a holy one, and where it isn't it is frequently used as an adjective nearly synonymous with, but superior to "awesome", "spectacular", "amazing", and "well hung". It is though that repeating his name three times in the mirror will transport you to an alternate dimension populated by pterosaurs, volcanoes, flying skulls, giant ants, and tons of nude women. This is rumored to be his main vacation spot, but since survivors rarely return to this plane of existence, and those that do can't remember 99% of the details, nobody can say for sure except Chris, who hasn't the time to grant such silly interviews.

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Chris has known for some time that something doesn't seem quite right in the Rezendes household. A strange dynamic has developed into the proverbial elephant in the room, and Paddy is thus inclined to do the duty he is bound to as Grand Protectorate of the Tri-Universe Area and point at it with his mighty finger.

The animosity Chris felt for his father's Irish heritage goes much deeper than anything Paddy had previously revealed through his divine prophecy, and it was drawing near to the time when the truth would be handed down. The days turned into months into years, until the moment came when Paddy had defeated all enemies of freedom and fed all hungry peoples of the world with his meat produce. Now he was free to engage in his most important, yet most challenging battle. Yay, he did travel to America, home of the brave and land of what remains of the Native Americans, to confront Chris and reveal to him in person what he had long suspected to be true.

"Chris", Paddy whispered softly into his ear from behind, "I AM YOUR FATHER."

Chris, calmly and directly, responded; "I know...I know."

They hugged, and Chris got an erection.

"How did you know?" asked Paddy. Chris then recounted the long and painful story of being raised by three cardboard boxes and a raccoon pelt, and the humiliation of having to make up stories about having actual parents, even going so far as to claim Irish roots for one - but he protested a little too much about the Irish, and this was his downfall. "I've longed to feel a proper, stiff shillelagh rattling around inside me, but I could never find anything even close to the thick manly bulbous meat-sock of an Irish cock among the little piddly widdly dicks of my fellow countrymen. So I had to make do with Colin Farrell movies and a box of Kleenex".

Paddy wept a pitying tear, and offered his spunk-launcher by way of apology for his absence for so many difficult years. Chris was at first excited, elated even, but suddenly his mood changed.

"What's the matter, son?" asked Paddy.

"I'll never be able to satisfy you with my overly loose rectal ring-nut. You see, one thing I didn't tell you that happened while you were gone is that I was a drug runner and ass-whore for a Mexican cartel. They would stuff 18 kilos of cocaine into my ass and fuck me to make sure it was packed in there nice 'n tight, and then they'd send me over the border, and ever since those years I smell like a freshly baked pair of fat man's underwear and I can barely grip even a pineapple with my weakened sphincter."

"Fret ye not", proclaimed Paddy, "For my cock is really big and it will be a nice tight fit and such".

"FUCK ME! FUCK ME LIKE YOU FUCKED MY CARDBOARD BOX!" Chris cried.

And he did, and it was good. But just as Chris had finished lapping up the remaining 3lbs of meaty semen Paddy had bestowed upon his chest, the Pager of Doom and Greatness beeped, and Paddy was once again called to perform the duties he was renowned for - saving dying babies from burning communist enslavement camps. He turned to Chris, to explain that he had to leave, but before he could say a word Chris raised a curiously smelly finger to Paddy's lips and said, "Just go."

And he did, and it was awesome.

The only shillelagh rattling around was the one inside Chris's trousers, with which he has slain demons, golems, dragons, and terrorists, with which he has created life, with which he hath created pleasure for the many beautiful women of the world, and with which he produced the protein, vitamin, and mineral rich semen used to feed the hungry worldwide. Chris's semen accounted for over 90% of the protein intake for victims of the SE Asian Tsunami disasters and 98% for those displaced by Hurricane Katrina. It is the source from which protein straws are produced to feed astronauts in space and is a common ingredient in protein shakes as well as K-rations issued by the military.

Chris's apathy toward the Irish punctuates his overwhelming disinterest with all of Paddy's egomaniacally delusional posts, and Chris's benevolence and generosity lead him to take leave of this boredom to focus on feeding the poor, saving the imperiled, and spread of his heroic genes the planet over.

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It was only after the 87th attempt at repeating Chris's name into the mirror in front of him that Joe ended up recalling the experience that doth occurred only moments ago... however, the land of magic and nude women turned out to be more of a hellish look into the inner-linings of Satan's asshole.

Joe knew one thing for sure... and it was that if there was anybody naked in that realm, it had been himself! Short memories of blood and cock flashed before his eyes as his synapses fired away to relive these horrid memories. How long had this been? Joe concluded, judging by his post times, that he had been in this world for over 5 hours.

Joe concluded that things could only get worse from here... the more time that passed by, the more memories resurfaced to cause pain and nausea. At one point, Joe was sure that there was some sort of sharp sex-toy involved. During the same thought process the vivid image of multiple naked & satanic midgets began to emerge from the depths of his mind.

Finally, Joe thought it best to blast Cannibal Corpse and crouch into a fetal position in the corner... nothing will ever be the same... nothing...

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Sharp sex toys and satanic midgets, you say? Sure you didn't repeat "Paddy" in the mirror 87 times? Chris can certainly acknowledge that his rumored vacation dimension, if it indeed exists, would certainly be a hellish nightmare to the uninitiated, it is more for the danger of being carried away by a Quetzalcoatlus or being swallowed by a molten river of lava than for fear of demonic midgets with dildoes strapped to their foreheads.

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In all his years in the World Anarchy Nullification Kindred Society, Paddy had never before or since or during read anything as face-meltingly cum-bubblish as the combined anal exodus of Joe and Chris' posts, which, when considered together, form a massive time haemorrhaging escapade approaching the pointlessness of the encoded messages one often finds smeared on public lavatory walls in excrement and seminal squeezings. Paddy recalls one such message which revealed secrets plans, when decoded, to overthrow the then Republic of Crete. "How pointless", Paddy thought to himself. What did Paddy find when he decoded the nonsensical ravings of Joe and Chris? He found, much to his amazement, that he had contracted hepatitis A, B, & C and also AIDS and cancer.

Discussing himself in the third-person, Chris was able to imagine himself in compromising situations with Joe that would have otherwise been too threatening to his deluded sense of self to deal with. Situations, Paddy noted, that seemed to be 100% centred around scenarios involving midgets. "What is this man's obsession with little people (because saying midgets is offensive)?" Paddy wondered. "Aha!" Paddy exclaimed, because he had worked it out with his massive intellect and penis. "Chris and Joe are both bender faggy queers with tiny cocks that would seem big in the hands of a little person!" EUREKA! He had solved the mystery. This explained everything to Paddy. It explained Chris' permanent erection when he watches Austin Powers 2, and it explains why Joe is quite capable of completely painting his bedroom walls an off-grey creamy colour resembling the after effects of an air strike involving warheads filled with salty pickle brine every time he rubs one off to a midgemag.

Paddy hopes with great conviction that Chris and Joe get over their midget obsession, and that they one day embrace The Real Ghostbusters cartoon for the masterpiece that it was. Paddy fondly reminisces upon the episode which featured the Sandman and also the one where the ghostbusters themselves are copied by green ghost thingies which take their uniforms and look all weird n'all.

Paddy kicks the polar bear's ass like it's going out of fashion.

Chris laughed heartily at Paddy's misguided exclamation, knowing full well the entire world prefers TMNT to the Real Ghostbusters and that, of course, Master Splinter is 1000 times greater than Slimer.

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Paddy conceded Chris' points with great modesty and good sportsmanship, for he was Paddy "Modest Good Sportsmanship" McMullan. However, Paddy noted that he at no stage compared TRG to TMNT and that Chris' straw man tactics were as underhanded as one could imagine. With that in mind, Paddy proceeded to win the debate without having lifted a single finger, for Chris had committed debatorial suicide.

Paddy took a certain smug glee in the fact that he had been able to utilise his new made-up word, "debatorial", and had a lovely old wank in celebration.

Dammit! Chris', you mentioned Don Ho and now "Tiny Bubbles" is stuck in my head. And no, that's not a midget stripper, Paddy, so don't get excited.

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Ahhh the oldies are the best!

Aicha
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fwQyo3agWak

Paddy is that you with your micky mouse cover?

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"ROFL!" exclaimed Joe. The "aicha" video brought back nostalgic laughter and terrible memories of killing time on ebaumsworld. In the honest opinion of Joe, however, Paddy's link did not even prove worthy of a reply. Joe just wanted to finally ascend into Post-Whoredom.

100010001000100010001000100010001000100010001000100010001000100010001000100010001000100010 001000100010001000100010001000100010001000100010001000100010001000100010001000100010001000 100010001000100010001000

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Joe its your 1000 post....good going man now you've joined the league of many but the league of few.

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Wise words
IN THIS FORUM?

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haha now I want to see the version where they spend all that time spelling the word "cunt"

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They did!

Skip to the end of this one.

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Stumbled on this. It takes a minute for the music to start, but it's a great combination. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=c7xj8xikyD8
Carl Sagan was cool.

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Chris, how big a fan are you of Reh Dogg? Until recently my only experience of his work was the a cappella version of "Why Must I Cry?". I've since heard the version with instrumental accompaniment, and the difference is pretty glaring. It was actually quite good! His videos are still hysterical, but I don't give too much of a fuck about music videos in general anyway haha.

I feel a little bit ashamed of myself for taking the piss out of him so severely, his lyrics seem to be more in line with what I'd consider genuine rap, as opposed to the misogynistic, jewellery-acquiring mindlessness of his mainstream counterparts. And he's doing it purely for the creative endeavour of the whole thing, which you gotta respect no matter what the quality of it is. With that in mind I listened to a few of his other tracks, and I was genuinely impressed with this one:

Señor Morales
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pSXpYUOjp4s

Even with the amateur level of the production it sounds like it's teeming with potential. I haven't listened to rap since I was in my early teens, but I could get into this; it's capable of reinstating my respect for rap and its sub genres, if nothing else.

Gotta love those gold fangs, too

What other amateur artists are you (or anyone else reading this) fond of? I have a few unsigned bands' material in my playlist, but it's a little too obscure to share here, even by YouTube's standards haha.

Well Paddy, I won't deny that there's some rap music on disc with a feel to it, but I still say that rap lives where it belongs, on the lips of mc's improvising to whatever beat the DJ gives them. As for that senor-thing, it might have been OK if he'd either done something interesting with the lyrics, or simply shut up.
Nah, hip-hop music should be music...
http://www.viddler.com/explore/SmoothJazz/videos/25/ (found via youtube, so there)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=17diO0hy2_Q

... then again, I've always been an old school guy on the floor.

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I see what you're saying; rap is grounded firmly in improv, but I like the simplicity and the literalness of Reh Dogg's lyrics. The mainstream popular rapper would steer clear of the subject matter and the style mainly because it's not conventionally acceptable, which is why I believe most popular rappers' lyrics are rarely profound or soul searching and are always shallow, pointless chest-beating exercises - it's like a commercial for a record rather than an art form. I know that overly literal lyrics can be taken as good or bad depending on the observer/context, but there's a certain lack of pretentiousness to the literal ones that appeals to me, and especially so in rap. And ignoring the music video content, Reh Dogg's material is some of the least pretentious I've come across lately and not necessarily in a way that indicates that he's incapable of writing the more cryptic lyrics; it seems like a choice, to shoot straight from the hip and not dress it up any more than it requires.

It's the same with Wesley Willis. Other than the fact that his songs are hilarious (intentionally so), he makes his point and moves on, which is - to me - a good thing. Unless of course The Chicken Cow is some massively multi-layered metaphor that I haven't deciphered yet!

I'm not categorising all cryptic lyrics as "pretentious", if that's how I was coming across haha

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LAnA...player_embedded

Fucking HILARIOUS! It looks like Peter Jackson also directed some workplace-safe gore films, too.

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Hahahahahahaha JESUS!!! Who the fuck would wanna work in that factory?? It's clearly been built on an ancient Indian burial ground.

The part with the arm in the lathe was actually quite disturbing!

Oh yeah, put some Cannibal Corpse over that and we've got ourselves a killer metal video.

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I don't mind simple lyrics, I think what I should have said was "vocals". You know, it's rythm and poetry, I want something that works with the music, not just walks along side it.
Then again, I don't really give a damn about the lyrics so long as there's a good beat for good moves.

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Holy fuck! How long does it take to get the point across?! That would turn me away from that job instantly.

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the forklift falling out the back of the trailer made me cringe a little, because that's something that would happen to me

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It's gone. Deemed inappropriate for some viewers. I bet one of you guys reported it, didn't ya?

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It's not gone, you just have to confirm your birth date, and I think you have to login to do that. If you don't have an account, make one, you won't be disappointed with this clip! haha

The guy with the nail in the eye gave his role everything he could haha. He even started off the scene with a paedo smile to give his character some depth

Danny from Anathema posted his on the SoulReaper.net forum, apparently it was filmed during the same festival they were playing at:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vzokAxA5nVo

Beat that shit, Amadeus!

I love how the guy danders into the middle of the opening, with a sort of "out of my way young people, I've got some rug that needs cuttin'!" determination.

Meh, this is what I mean by "the old man". Kind of, he needs to work on it a bit more
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1Ta2...feature=related

And damn, I don't have a video of myself to challenge him. I'll just send my man Jouni in my stead...
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=S0bPPDMp3Nk

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I am a member. They probably thought I was TOO OLD!!!!!!!!!! Oh well, thanks for the info.

Here ya go Amadeus. And that's Gladys Knight without her Pips doing the intro. This is a great song. I've never seen it live before. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bpV5InLw52U

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Ha, yea, I've seen that one before. He's my idol.


A spate of ego surge sent me looking through youtube to see if I had in fact been caught in a clip. Didn't find me, but I did find this from the Malmö festival three years ago. This is actually the semifinals, those little kiddos won their first battle.
Dunno what's up with the long "intro", just skip to 1:30.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JnAC...feature=related

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Look at this Paddy.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CBwp...feature=related

She's actually a stripper... I shit you not

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Daaaaaaaamn!

I'm genuinely considering watching some real midget porn if these are the kinds of midgets featured

I couldn't help but smile when she said that her 2-year-old son is the same size as her. It's almost heart-warming, if you ignore the porn and the cum and the stripping.

RETARD MOSH PIT!!

I would fucking kill to play at this show. I've never seen a crowd that is so into the music.

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Who are you trying to kid, Darko? We all know that's you rockin' the mic

haha, retards for the win!

Anway, here's me rockin' with the band (which, funny enough, fully consists of retards): http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wu38KF6vzGA

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hahahaha first comment wins:

"add ecstasy and you have an event beyond imagination"

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For the players or the viewers! haha I couldn't watch that for too long.

I've been trying to figure out who did this song since I fell in love with it when I was about 9 or 10 so that's a 40 year search. Chet Atkins did it, too, but I don't like it as well. The video isn't bad either. The quality sucks, but the video's fun. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sDW5C7b19HM I love you tube.

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Hahahahahahahaha

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Watch your ears. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7vXBY6c_oBE

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That's actually quite enjoyable

Why thank you.

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Wow. Fuck Youtube. They erased all of my uploaded videos(songs) and many of the videos of my suscriptions.