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Old 2007-02-04, 07:01
Tulvox's Avatar
Tulvox
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"Bad Luck"

"Bad Luck"
Jacob Fitzlaff
2/4/2007

I jumped the bus outta Minnesota,
The small town drama just won't do it for me.
Lookin' for a drug so I went to California,
To San Francisco where the love is free.
Well I found out that the world spins on a penny,
And nothin' ever works out the way that it should.
So I'm stuck downtown cause I've run outta money.
Went lookin' for a party to make myself feel good.

We'll it's just bad luck.
I'm goin' outta my mind.
I Ain't got no solutions.
But I'm havin' the time...

I was buzzing off the punk rock on 924,
Gilman Street was the place to be.
All the punk girls were screaming for more,
You could see miniskirts linin' up down the street.
So I took a chance and said "Hey baby,
I'm feeling kinda lost could ya show me around?"
She just laughed and told me I was crazy,
Said "Nothin' ever changes you're too lost to be found."

We'll it's just bad luck.
I'm goin' outta my mind.
I Ain't got no solutions.
But I'm havin' the time...

I was feeling kinda funny my bad luck was runnin',
Outta control but you ain't never seen,
Any one so happy man I was up to somethin',
Standin' with the punks I was part of the scene.
Life was movin' fast but you know there's a catch,
When everybody's givin' you the stare down.
So I bummed a smoke and asked for a match,
Start a new day and headed back downtown.

We'll it's just bad luck.
I'm goin' outta my mind.
I Ain't got no solutions.
But I'm havin' the time of my life.
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Last edited by Tulvox : 2007-02-04 at 07:16.
 
Old 2007-02-04, 07:11
Infinity's Avatar
Infinity
Life is pain.
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Join Date: Jun 2004
Location: Australia
Posts: 4,510
apart from punks being fucking retarded, this is pretty cool. cant beat the original you gave me earlier though man, would have been better as a poem like that where it was i feel... some of it just feels forced, where the original you gave me flowed well,.
 
Old 2007-02-04, 07:17
Tulvox's Avatar
Tulvox
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The original I gave ya was just the first verse. haha
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Worker bees can leave,
Even drones can fly away.
The queen is their slave.


www.maddox.xmission.com
 
Old 2007-02-04, 07:20
Infinity's Avatar
Infinity
Life is pain.
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Location: Australia
Posts: 4,510
yeah i know and thats the best part
 
Old 2007-02-05, 12:58
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L,B'XXX
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Join Date: Jan 2003
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Posts: 8,881
I thought it sounded better switching the second and third verses around. The first verse was really good and so was the chorus. You're fun to read.

I adored the line "Well I found out that the world spins on a penny." That was cool.
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-wally: Mom, you shouldn't play after me because it makes you sound even worse than you already do. -wally:*grumbles and whispers quietly* I guess it's cuz I love you or something, but you're still a TURD
Grimm:I could read your mind but its in font size .5
Amadeus:Oh, and was there a cesserole (never mind spelling) involved?
Paddy:the fact that you didn't end up on a kids show makes me question my atheism
Dyldo: You evil strumpet!

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