Hey, I really appreciate the kind words on the stuff I put up recently, so here are a few other new ones:

Collection Day

In breaking news in Hell today
We've found we have its name to pay
Its collection time for bartered souls
When asked for a quote, the Devil repliec
In reaction to customer outcry
"You chose to cross the bridge, now pay the toll"

So take a look back on your life,
What was the trouble worth?
This game of chess, the human mess
The tight rope walked from death to birth

And now the collector is at the door
He looks alot like you
Hey says, "Hey, it's nothing personal
Now give to the Devil his due"

There's nowhere to run, nowhere to hide
Now it's time to face the truth
That your head was so deep in the sand
That you lost all that you could lose

So how does your comeuppance taste?
Bitter I'd guess, from the look on your face
You've made your bed, put it to use
This is merely the path that you chose to take
To put everything that you are at stake
Your finger of blame points back at you

And now the collector is at the door
His message unconfused
"Where you are going all pleas are ignored,
Now give to the Devil his due"

The piper at the gates of Hell
Is playing your funeral dirge
The codas eternal are singing aloud
So don't wait for the end to emerge
You chose the path, now pay the price
And take your seat with the God of ice
With a life like yours, this shouldn't be a shock
Now your fate is sealed, and the gates are locked

And now the collector is at the door
He looks alot like me
"You know why I'm here so wipe up your tears
And raise your eyes to see,
To give to the devil his due."

2006 STAIKY Music

Though You Have Laughed Loudest (I Will Laugh Last)

Broken, battered and used
Torn into pieces and left as refuse
Cut down, used as a tool
Playing your part as you're playing the fool

Tied down to patriot roots
Trampled to death under black issued boots
Then put up as dissident scum
Left, an example, 'till their kingdom comes

So say what you will
I've swallowed my fill
I've taken all that I can
This catch and return,
Rebuild and re-burn
Despite several labels, I'm only one man

A cancer, a bane upon man
I'll do what I will, what little I can
Soon after, I'll die in the streets
An effigy rotting at all who I meet

And you, you will spit on my face
To deny me a ledge as I'm falling from grace
So swat at this fly on the wall
And don't dare shed a tear when you witness my fall

'Cause say what you will
You're king of the kill
In a courtyard, Arterial red
Now I'm only the artist
That's trying his hardest
To make use of what he's bled

Don't weep at my headstone
Although I have gone, I have not gone alone
So reads my scrawled epitaph:
"Though you have laughed loudest, I will laugh last."

2007 STAIKY music

Thoughts?

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Clever ideas for both of them. I'm hearing them both as prog rock pieces. They have an old Gabriel-era Genesis feel to them to me, but to modernize them more I think they could lean to heavier instrumentation. I had to force myself to not try to get caught up in a cadence though because it would happen periodically in the pieces. I think they're pretty refreshing. Not overly heady in wording, but lots of imagery going on.
Loved the part --
"'Cause say what you will
You're king of the kill
In a courtyard, Arterial red
Now I'm only the artist
That's trying his hardest
To make use of what he's bled"

Thanks for sharing them.

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Thanks alot for the kind words. It seems whenever I put one up you've got something nice to say.

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I was told long ago that I'm too nice when I comment. If I don't like something I'll say it. I do try to see things from the writer's perspective and try not to veer from their ideas if I do think something needs changed. I'm not as good with technicalities of sentence structure and all that, but I know what I like and what I don't and that's what I comment on.

Plus I know people like feedback so they know what works and what doesn't one person at a time.

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These were ok. I didn't like them as much as your other stuff, but still, it wasn't bad.
By the way, you don't need to put "2006 STAIKY Music" on everything you write. If it makes you feel better, that's fine, but isn't necessary.
Legally speaking, as soon as a person creates a written piece they automatically have a copyright on it. If you are afraid someone might steal your work, all you would have to do is prove that you'd written it first. (For example, showing the URL of this page.)
Plus you have witness (anyone who's read this, friends or family you might have shown this to).
On top of that plagiarism of this kind is very unlikely. It's even more unlikely that someone would steal and then to have it published. The only reason why I'm bringing this up is because I used to be worried that people might steal something I wrote, but the reality is, it's not even worth thinking about. If this were a novel, that might be a different story, but even then, you'd just have to prove that you'd written it first.
And that's my long incoherent rant on copyright law.

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I do it, too, but it's mainly to keep track of a chronological order of my pieces.
It's a pain to contact admin and see if it's on back-up files somewhere when you do find someone's nabbed your piece though. Sometimes those files are long gone. That's happened.

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If someone on here stole something I wrote I'd just send them some anthrax in the mail. And I don't mean the Among the Living Caught in the Mosh type of Anthrax.

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