okay here is my first attempt at writing lyrics so here is
Acid Stained Tounge


Acid pouring from my mouth
The air is cold
My breath is the smell of a carcass rotting
Decaying
On the roof of my mouth
I taste the poison
Burning the tip of my tongue
Darkness engulfing my mind
As it stings my gums
Burning my teeth
Losing it
Being taken over
My breath is the death of the world
Fog spewing out
Venom shattering my dark soul
Numbing me
But I can still feel
Darkness comes spawning something horrible
Spewing the spawns of Satan in the form of acid
Poison engulfing me
Screwing up my jaws
Deadly gasses being consumed
Losing my mind
Darkness is inside
The death of everyone
Acid continues to pour
The pain I must endure
Poisonous fog spewing
Threatening our existence
Though it doesn’t matter to you
It will once we are all dead
Acid stained tongue
Throat of demise
Losing it as I breathe
Killing me as I speak
A word means acid
Acid means demise
I can’t stop it
I have no control but it matters not
The apocalypse was going to happen sooner or later
Burning my lungs as I breathe
It is taking over me
Trying to breath
Acid leaking under my tongue
Melting my gums
No one knows the horror
World of gas
Destruction of my self
Jaws breaking
Snapping into pieces
A hole in the bottom of my mouth
Satan
Picked me to punish
the world
Burning
My mouth is burning
When the deadly gasses come my blood turns to black
As I am
As I was
Not a tool for evil
Destroying the world
In a heartbeat
Engulfing my mind in mayhem
When will this burning sensation stop?
Acid continues to pour
The pain I endure
Feeling as if I am not here
Eyes close
Unable to look at it
Jaws broken falling out of my mouth
Unable to keep it open
My eyeballs start to melt
Out of my face the gasses
Coming out of my eyes
My brain is liquid coming out my ears
My body collapses and falls to the ground
Dead
I lie dead
Creating horror
Acid flowing like a river
Faster
Faster
This is one hell of a disaster
Afraid to see what lies next
My tongue burns
Lit on fire
Acid stained filled with pain
My numb nerves felt nothing
Now I feel nothing nothing
The room was spinning
Fog was everywhere
The acid still flows

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Tighten it up more so it doesn't feel so rambling and I'd like it better. Interesting idea, but I'd take out some of the lines that seem to be filler. Then you'll have all the good bits left. You could add a touch here and there to smooth out the imagery.
Does that make sense? Is this going to be a song or a poem?

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song
yeah some of it is just word s being spit out

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Yeah, and it's cool to get all your thoughts out. But then you can tidy it up if it needs it. If you don't think it does then don't do anything to it.

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These are some cool ideas and if you put some of the lines together it would be perfect. Good work.

thank you all for the support
now if only i could sing it right

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sometimes i think your going a little bit medical like with, my mouth tastes like a carcass, i think you could tweak it a bit to make it, flow a bit more, but cool thoug

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the reason of all the weird lines are that i was recording some guitar stuff and when i was done my mouth felt realy airy and freaky so i just kind of exagerated it and wrote it down

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i think you should do it with a DM, but not neccessarily low.
alot of singers sacrifice the graininess of a growl for a lower pitch but then it goes kind of hollow. Keep the growl in tight and put as much grit in it as you can. few growlers can go low and grit (ross dolan, all of nile)
btw after dawn of posession ross dolan sucks

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I voted for BM vocals just because no one else had. Everyone's advice on your lyrical content sounds about right. Don't be afraid to rewrite until it is (somewhat) perfect.

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