|
2007-01-27, 05:58
|
 |
Post-whore
|
|
Join Date: Jun 2004
Location: Brisbane, Australia.
Posts: 1,023
|
|
|
The Seraphim Chain
Pray tell me Seraphim, why
is your left arm shorter than the other?
The thin red line that runs through your wrist like a bracelet,
what may that be?
Why so reluctant
to hold my hand?
And why so distant
in my embrace?
Why look so longingly unto the sky
that did nothing but burn you?
The sigh of Seraphim crushes bones,
he parts his lips gingerly, heavily.
"As soon as we are made, The Sovereign
severs a ring of bone from our arms,
he weaves it into his Seraphim Chain,
and that is how he ties us to the skies.
And naught your waiting flesh,
the velvet nets of parted lips,
the gravity of open arms
the subtle touch of silken skin
will tear it..."
"Am I not your secret love? Companion...
or concubine?
Oh Seraphim!
Risked your life
and then risked mine
Put everything on the line
for this to pass,
My Seraphim.
Before long, we will be found,
The Visionary sees all,
and The Sovereign will take action
and we will be recorded
as shreds in the back of The Observer's mind...
and pray what, Seraphim, what will you do?
Will you try to save yourself?
Will you trow yourself upon
his waiting claws?
Will you try to run away
Will you beg, or will you pray
For our souls?"
The Seraphim doesn't answer me
with anything but a sweep of his fingers
He severs fragile, badly-constructed connections
hauls me, immobile
onto his shoulders
to barter me for his life to The Sovereign.
__________________
I <3 12 year olds.
|
|
2007-01-27, 12:45
|
 |
dsnt trust ne1 < 30
|
|
Join Date: Jan 2003
Location: Home is where the <3 is
Posts: 8,881
|
|
|
Wow, that was cool. Great story. This reads more poemlike than song. Are you using it as a lyric or poem?
__________________
My eldest son's bipolar website: www.bipolarmanifesto.com
-wally: Mom, you shouldn't play after me because it makes you sound even worse than you already do. -wally:*grumbles and whispers quietly* I guess it's cuz I love you or something, but you're still a TURD
Grimm:I could read your mind but its in font size .5
Amadeus:Oh, and was there a cesserole (never mind spelling) involved?
Paddy:the fact that you didn't end up on a kids show makes me question my atheism
Dyldo: You evil strumpet!
|
|
2007-01-27, 14:58
|
 |
Post-whore
|
|
Join Date: Jun 2005
Location: Ballater, Scotland, UK.
Posts: 1,128
|
|
|
I just read "Seraphim" in the thread title and was instantly attracted.
I was not disappointed. This was very interesting, it has a very alien perspective that I like. It sounds really otherworldly.
You sure seraphim isn't the plural form of seraph though? It matters not... Seraphim looks cooler as a word.
|
|
2007-01-29, 03:54
|
 |
Metalhead
|
|
Join Date: Jan 2006
Location: Mississauga,Ontairo,Canada
Posts: 86
|
|
|
Seraphim is plural but it doesn't matter.
Greatly written.
|
|
2007-01-29, 08:05
|
 |
Quantum.
|
|
Join Date: Sep 2005
Posts: 2,149
|
|
|
You're good at this. However, no one ever achieved greatness by teasers and sneak peaks alone. When will we start hearing some of those lyrics of yours in songs?
__________________
Listening to Cannibal Corpse and cutting trees with a chainsaw, now that's metal
"He preferred the hard truth over his dearest illusion. That, is the heart of science."
- Carl Sagan
"Imagination is more important than intelligence" - Einstein
|
|
2007-01-29, 08:38
|
|
Post-whore
|
|
Join Date: Jun 2004
Location: Brisbane, Australia.
Posts: 1,023
|
|
|
L,B'XXX: That's a lyric, although it doesn't have much of a beat in most places.
Unanything and Niro: Yeh, Seraphim is plural, but that sounds cooler than Seraph. I wanted to distinguish my Seraphim from the six-winged creatures described in The Bible.
Amadeus: The demo is almost done, I just need to get off my arse and finish recording the keyboards. I'm broke so I can't get to my co-writer's place to finish recording, simply put.
|
Posting Rules
|
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts
HTML code is Off
|
|
|
|
