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2006-12-24, 20:37
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Senior Metalhead
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Join Date: Dec 2005
Location: TX
Posts: 188
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Dry
I am fine
I'm okay
Why wont you quit asking me
All the games
that you play
Make me wanna run away
It hurts me
when I see
You not understanding me
I say no
you say yes
When will this be put to rest
[Chorus]
Fire starter
makes it harder
when I have no Fxxxing water
flames are rising
oversising
all organice life is dying
Just practicing with some rhythm. Tell me what you think. What could make it better? I'm still thinking of what to write after the first chorus, but still... tell me what you think.
Thanks in advance.
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2006-12-25, 06:23
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Post-whore
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Join Date: Feb 2005
Location: Emory, Texas
Posts: 1,280
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not bad, a little teen angst ridden, could be pretty cool though. I really like the chorus, the rest isn't really goinig anywhere though, plus you don't have to say fxxxing. Fucking, fucking, fucking, see that wasn't so bad. 
__________________
Quote:
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Originally Posted by Paddy
Man oh man I'm in the mood for some meat right about now, so much so that I don't even care how implicitly gay this sentence is.
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2006-12-25, 09:12
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Life is pain.
Banned
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Join Date: Jun 2004
Location: Australia
Posts: 4,510
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I just looked in the dictionary and seems like you've just copied the definition of cliche.
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2006-12-25, 18:16
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Senior Metalhead
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Join Date: Dec 2005
Location: TX
Posts: 188
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Cool!
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