This is part two of a concept. In the first part a girl wanders around an empty Earth, and upon finding a spiral of butterflies that leads to the sky walks on it, but her weight unravels it and she is trapped in the sky. She sees the Avian Architect and hides.

Meticulously, he measures the clouds with his feathers
Draws plans of epic proportions onto the sky
His creation demands only the finest materials.
A pair of winter saphires he picks for the eyes,
Plucks white gold from the ground, and that shall be the shell,
Azure coral for the internal workings,
Sets an onyx on fire - that shall be the brain.

And the forges of the sky burn as hot as the sun,
and his servants, the butterflies, are set on the task,
and many a delicate body is crushed,
and just as many are burnt,
yet their labours are fruitful,
and the creature is made.

But lacking in warmth, and lacking in kindness
the architect neglects to give his creature a heart...

And as he retired, she crept out the shadows,
with delicate fingers caught a butterfly,
she set it ablaze, and locked it's ashes
into the creature's chest

and it moves, and it heaves
and opens it's eyes
and it sighs, and it breathes
and it's teeming with life.

and it talks, and it begs,
to be rid of this pain,
and it weeps, and it shouts,
it's all alone...

She embraces the creature, and shakes as with fever,
and it's scorching kisses fall on her face,
the conection is made, and now cannot be severed,
the architect's creature has gone to waste...

And the architect rises, and his fury is boundless,
he trows her and the creature down to Earth's surface,
and sends forth the most frigid winter...

The concept is continued in Raining Dead Butterflies ( http://metaltabs.com/forum/showthread.php?t=29430 ).

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Good stuff. Kind of reminds me of Olaf Stapledon.

Very cool. I liked both pieces. I don't know why I missed the first one.
The title of this caught my eye. We're burying our beloved cockatiel, Max, today. Even though you said this is goth some of the imagery brought some beautiful albeit bittersweet ideas. The piece had ebbs in it and I always like that in a piece. Lots of vibrancy and depth of color, too. Good storyline, too.

Throughly enjoyed reading it. Hope there's more eventually.

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The sudden, temporary shift to past tense is strange. Any reason for it?

Aside from that, I like the anaphoric cadence from the 'and's. Very nice.

Yeah i agree with LB on this in the fact that the title caught my eye.

I was pretty good, and I enjoyed it. I haven't been paying too much attention to lyrics lately. Probably reflects my current attitude towards progression of my own music right now. Its at a stale standstill. Everything is finihsed, but i need to write lyrics and record every song over.

What a daunting task.

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Pretty good, though I would have prefered that you didn't explain what it was about in the beginning.

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Wow thanks everyone

blizzard_beast: I never read anything by him, but I will try to find some of his work.

L,B'XXX: I guess I have no better way to describe it than goth, "goth metal" is a rather widespread moniker for any modern metal that's not as harsh as the more extreme genres, such as death, black and the more extreme doom, but still doesn't fit in with any of the more strictly defined genres. This particular concept is complete, but I'm working in tying it in with some other stories, I quite like concept lyrics.

PST 88: The reason for that change is me being sloppy. I was working on these for about a year, and when I finally came out of a creativity slump and finished them I was too hyped to give them a quick look over. I'll fix them for the final version.

tmfreak: I agree completely, I'm pretty much in the same situation now. I write lyrics and then music, or write at the same time, but my co-writer just writes music. Writing lyrics for his work is a pain in the arse.

Me: So... Do you have any title, imagery or story in mind for this song?
Him: No, not really...
Me: What were you trying to say?
Him: Nothing in particular.
Me: Raragahrahrghhghghrararharh

Ludd: It's part of a concept. I think it might have been confusing for some if they didn't know what happened in the first song/intro. The intro is too short to bother posting.

here we go, very good writing, creative and good use of vocabulary. Finally somebody posts something i can actually get into. Very, very good.

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Hm, seems like it was worth the effort to browse the forums again. Speaking as a seasoned longtime fan of e.g. the Strugatskij brothers, Lundwall and Simak, these two pieces reached out and charmed me. PST nicked the fun of pointing out the differing tenses, so I'll be content with saying that you've achieved something here. Oh, and of course... when can we hear the finished creation?

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bassist_of_light
Many thanks

Amadeus
Thanks This song is not on the upcoming demo, but Raining Dead Butterflies will be. It could be between 6 months and 2 years before this song is recorded. I've spent over two years working on my project and it's only starting to take off now.

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That's the everlasting curse of metal. If you find a band you might learn to like, hoping for anything new from them in less than a year is futile and naive and should be abandoned.
Oh well.

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