Standing within the forests whispers
Whispering to myself songs of serenity
As if the air was breathing for my lungs
Each filled with refreshing thoughts of life
Flowing through my consciousness
Held tight in the palm of my heart
Beating to create this beautiful sound
Singing from my voice in command
In control of the living doors within
Painted as if they felt the vibration
Of my uncontrolled consciousness
Enchanted by unknown voices
Holding up my head in the October sky
Its so convincing I might as well be famous
For the gates are opening for me
And I’m not hesitating to go inside
Held up by my soul and feelings
I feel the moment coming for me
Inside the messages of my dream theater
As I watch myself walk up the steps
They walk beside me on the side
And for a moment of fear and wonder
I turn to look at what seems a mystical illusion
Only what I see is the people smiling
There happiness guiding me to the top
To have the chance and choice of destiny
To use my own safeness as a guide
To remember who helped me get there
In the final moment of relieve...the voices -Mystic

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I tried to read this last night and just couldn't get into it past the first few lines so I came back to it. I'm glad I did. I really liked it. I liked that you threw in the October image, too. That added a lot of sensory ideas to it immediately.

There's one place I think I'd change and that's the line "They walk beside me on the side." I don't think you need the "on the side" there since you already said beside. If you need to add the words to it maybe you can do something more descriptive to that line otherwise leaving that phrase off works well.

Cool read. Thanks for sharing.

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well I ment that they walk beside me on the side, but if I was to say anything else it wouldnt make it sound right, Im trying to say im walking up the steps and there walking like outside the steps but on the side, like as if there watching me, know what I mean?

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Okay, that's cool. It still sounds a little redundant to me, but it's not a major thing. Maybe it's because that's what I was picturing from the beginning that made it seem that way. Thanks for the explanation.

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its alright, but im tiring of this sort of poem. though, thats not your fault or problem. i mus ask though, are you aware of these similarities:

cradle of filth-the forest whispers my name
dream theater-the band name, hah.
dimmu borgir-fear and wonder

i just thought it was funny that i found three metal band occurances. then again, its not too surprising because stuff like this is scattered all throughout metal.