A more serious version of the other one.. i got music to it also

Punk Kids Punk Kids
With your fucked up hair

Punk Kids Punk Kids
And the shit that you wear

Punk Kids Punk Kids
Bring this country down
Dont need you filthy shit heads around

You think that you're a greater cause
You're nothing but commercial whores!
You stand for non conformity
That's why it's like you I won't be!
Hypocrites dangling on the words
Of favourite bands - brainwashed herds!
People like you just make me sick
It's time to give anarchy the flick

Yeah!

Punk Kids Punk Kids
Make sure what you wear's punk fashion

Punk Kids Punk Kids
Stomping kids like you's my passion

Punk Kids Punk Kids
Hang at the mall in a mob
Cut your hair and learn respect, get a fucking job

There's nothing that I hate so sore
Than wasted youth that bitch for more!
Waste your life stickin it to the man
Korea's missiles destroy our land!
May aswell fight for a worthy cause
Crush the enemy on foreign shores
Theres nuclear weapons on the other side
But behind a hardcore mask you hide!

Yeah!

Cunts!

[Solo]

What's gained by fighting you're own country
When the rest of the world is your enemy?
Asia is talking nuclear war
But you believe you're word is law!
Punks, hardcores and straight edge fags
Get a life cos if our country lags
There'll be a fuck load more to complain about
Get a gun and give the army a shout!

This sounds completely like a punk song, which makes it highly confusing. Its alright i guess, although the switch of topics in the 2nd verse doesn't make sense.

Overall it was alright.

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switch of topics???

its about punk fags thinking they are a catalyst and shit and fucking trapped in their hypocritical lifestyle think they so cool, bring down the system and shit, they fight their own countries and bitch about them, when theres fucking bigger problems than price of lentils, like korea.

The other one's better. This has too many forced rhymes, leading to weird and ugly circumlocutions and some nonsense. Hard to make an effective argument when the language is so ugly. I'd expect better. Probably best to rewrite Hypunkrite.

I know what its about haha. A punk song that is hard to get the grasp of hte idea would be the dumbest thing i've ever heard of. haha

Nah i half agree with you on the subject. but as far as the writing goes, you switch topics

There's nothing that I hate so sore
Than wasted youth that bitch for more!
Waste your life stickin it to the man
Korea's missiles destroy our land!
^ that sentence right there completely doesn't go with the first 3 lines

And i agree with pst. Seemed like you were rhyming because you had to rhyme. I know how it is as i used to do it, definately doesn't produce that great of results.

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oh well, fair enough guys...

I'm surprised you didn't use the word nerds instead of herds.
This song could be accompanied by an accordian.



And when did that happen?

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im not supporting punk at all( i hate it aswell), but there are plenty of hypocritical and im mr cool metalheads out there to. Who just wine about how society is so messed up, and that any other forms of music suck. Trust me on this who would you rather talk to a punk kid or some slipknot metalhead wannabe?

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Most of the metalheads who are analogous to conformist non-conformist punks are a little deeper into the scene than the Slipknot cunts. You can't be a very worthwhile hypocrite if you're not deep in.

Incidentally, coming back to this I wonder if a lot of the same territory wasn't covered by 'The Underground in America.'

Sounds like an Emo poem complaining about punks.

What's worse?

....I say EMO

You can say with a straight face that a song with the line 'cut your hair and learn respect, get a fucking job' and which has as one of its major themes how obsession with image and self when real things are happening in the world reads like an emo song to you? Why? Because Infinity wrote it and you fuckers don't like each other?

It reads like a certain type of punk song criticizing a different type of punk attitude. No more emo than, say, 'Holiday in Cambodia.' Though certainly worse.

Anyway, keep the bullshit out of here. Most of the other forums allow it, but not Poetry/Lyrical.

nah its just in light of korea talking nuclear war recently so its like "waste your time with your trivial cause when korea is posing this huge threat"

And dude, idont think punks a nerds at all, but there are a lot of them, and they all think the same shit and bla bla bla, brainwashed herds actually came alot more naturally... i didn't even think of nerds, but now you mention, i dont like it more than herds...

You seriously need to stop watching the corporate news channels.

If you are going to write a poem about Kim Jong Il and North Korea, that's one thing. But there's no need to include it in this thing about punk kids. Plus you said something about North Korea destroying someone's land, which they haven't, unless you include starving their own people.
Punks get on my nerves and have for many years, but I generally agree with (the more intelligent) ones politically speaking.
Many of them are just hypocrites and throw the word anarchy around without even understanding the concept.
What's worse is that the 'underground' punks are (and I'm generalizing here) almost as ignorant about politics, or whatever as the phoney bologna Good Charlotte Corporate Poser 'Punks'. It's all lifestyle poser bullshit and it's fucking retarded, but you aren't really saying anything worthwhile about it.
Point being, if you are going to say something about it all, say something. Don't just bitch that you don't like them and then randomly throw in 'Well you're not even worried about North Korea'. That shit doesn't make any sense.
If you are going to write something of substance you'd be better off looking into North Korea and everything that is going on there and writing about what you think of that. Complaining about punk kids is pointless.

I'm not even going to get into lines like:
"What's gained by fighting you're own country
When the rest of the world is your enemy?"
Except to say that sounds like something that belongs in one of those shit kicking country rebel patriot woohaa bullshit songs. If you believe that fine. Just try getting a better understanding of the issues of why someone might be pissed off at their own country before you go down the easy road of 'you aren't being patriotic'.

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I have to say I agree pretty strongly with Ludd. Except for the shit-kicking country bit. That can actually have relevence, but it depends on how you use it. Myles doesn't use it intelligently here, but he doesn't use it like a dumb shit redneck either.

Fuck, I think you guys are looking way too much into this. Punk is punk man, this is a punk song dissing punks, punk is just fun to me so fucken did this. Generally Ludd, all the shit you are saying is lost on me because I dont care for it on this particular piece. I got about half way through before I thought, oh fuck who cares, because I don't, I wrote a punk song and I needed lyrics. These are it, case closed man, hahaha fucken hell.

Why not just write some jibberish that fits the meter, then?

Why the hell are you posting this if you don't want feedback? Or is it that you were just expecting everyone to say 'this good' and you could bask in the glory? Do you not understand the purpose of this forum?

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Hahaha, ok Ludd.

I expected feedback but I didn't expect OH MY GOD YOU ARE SO WRONG YOU SHOULD BECOME A HISTORIAN AND LEARN EVERY DETAIL OTHERWISE YOU ARE WRONG BLA bla bla

Because I don't care for it man, TM and shit had already pretty much said the same thing you had about it being wrong or whatever and how the subject changes and shit and you made it again, so i dont care for it.

myself i thought it was pretty straight forward. [oviously i was wrong, and i relaise this, im the odd one out]

alot of punks are narrow minded and can only fucen care about whats happening in there own country and shit and they bag out their own people expectying results for little shit that most people don't care about. also, alot are militant in teir enforcing of the punk law and way of being bla bla, so i thought, fair enough, you guys gonna be so militant about shit that doesnt relly matter then why dont you become literally military? the point is they wouldn't because they are too pussy. thats the link i used between the two, whether its sketchy or not.

i dunno what you are trying to squeeze out of me, some sort of defeat? because I already realised that maybe this wasnt the best lyrics after about the first 6 or 7 posts when i stopped trying to defend the ideals.

First: Your mentality is exactly what you are accusing punks of being. You run your fucking mouth and you are ignorant. No one expects you to be an expert on history or politics, but if you are going to write about things like North Korea then FUCKING EDUCATE YOURSELF.

Second: You obvious don't understand the purpose of this forum, which is: someone writes something, people respond, and you react to it. You don't just ignore it and say 'well I don't care cuz this is pseudo-punk'. Again, you are ignorant.

Third: No one is trying to make you defeat yourself. (Although now you're making me want to tell you how much you suck.) The purpose here is to improve your writing. If you are incapable of taking criticism and just want a fucking hand job, then stop off at a roadside bathroom and ask a trucker for some help.

Fourth: Learn how to fucking spell. Try educating yourself before you have the balls to say how bad other people are. 90% of punk kids have a better idea of what’s going on in the world than you do. So why don't you take a look in the mirror if you want to see an ignorant fucking dumb ass.

Fifth: And you are the exact kind of dumb redneck that the army is looking for. Have fun in Iraq, big guy.

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Hahahaha

Go and get all your friends, show them this argument, and see how proud of you they all are buddy.

Chill the fuck out, Ludd. In, say, a writing workshop, where everybody reads each other's work and comments on it, if somebody doesn't accept your criticism, you don't get to rub their noses in their work like a dog in his shit until they hip to what you're saying. Think of this forum the same way. Also, don't go out of your way in other threads to bring up any poem you dislike just to trash it. That shit won't wash here.

Myles: I realize you don't like to rewrite, and so your general response to criticism is to get defensive, but come on. If it's not good and you know why, make it better. And, in any case, try to ignore it when somebody's obviously gotten a hard-on for you.

Now, play nice.

lol, yeah, sorry dude