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Old 2006-10-07, 13:57
L,B'XXX's Avatar
L,B'XXX
dsnt trust ne1 < 30
 
Join Date: Jan 2003
Location: Home is where the <3 is
Posts: 8,881
Going Again

"Going Again"


Tightly wound in a solitary world
Fusions of surroundings rip apart every time
Nothing ever easy in the sacred territory
Tears filling my eyes

Can't understand how its not the same
Person to person, event by event
Elasticity stretching all directions
Fighting the feelings of seperation

Sunlight through the leaves sparkles autumn
Jewelled and twinkling colored lights
It doesn't brighten my heart like certain smiles
Choices not for me to make

BJH
10/7/2006
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My eldest son's bipolar website: www.bipolarmanifesto.com

-wally: Mom, you shouldn't play after me because it makes you sound even worse than you already do. -wally:*grumbles and whispers quietly* I guess it's cuz I love you or something, but you're still a TURD
Grimm:I could read your mind but its in font size .5
Amadeus:Oh, and was there a cesserole (never mind spelling) involved?
Paddy:the fact that you didn't end up on a kids show makes me question my atheism
Dyldo: You evil strumpet!

Last edited by L,B'XXX : 2006-10-07 at 21:28.
 
Old 2006-10-10, 13:58
JAMF's Avatar
JAMF
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Join Date: Nov 2005
Location: England
Posts: 342
This was nice to read, I really liked the lines;

"Sunlight through the leaves sparkles autumn
Jewelled and twinkling colored lights"

I'm a real amateur to the whole poetry thing so I can't really give criticisms, only offer what I thought sounded nice.
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Old 2006-10-10, 17:07
L,B'XXX's Avatar
L,B'XXX
dsnt trust ne1 < 30
 
Join Date: Jan 2003
Location: Home is where the <3 is
Posts: 8,881
Well, that's the most important part. Whether or not it's liked. Glad you liked that part and enjoyed the read. I appreciate it.

It's about my kids leaving and coming home. Walpurgis coming home was the inspiration.
__________________
My eldest son's bipolar website: www.bipolarmanifesto.com

-wally: Mom, you shouldn't play after me because it makes you sound even worse than you already do. -wally:*grumbles and whispers quietly* I guess it's cuz I love you or something, but you're still a TURD
Grimm:I could read your mind but its in font size .5
Amadeus:Oh, and was there a cesserole (never mind spelling) involved?
Paddy:the fact that you didn't end up on a kids show makes me question my atheism
Dyldo: You evil strumpet!

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