i was in the nut house when i wrote this.. what do you all think?

The Fear of pain
is no longer a burdon
its become so familiar
why do i wallow in this painful resolute
the fear is cultivated in my dreams
with fear that it will leak into reality

like worms of destruction
eating my soul away
bitterness and lonliness
bite with knife sharp pain

i didnt know my soul could feel pain
in case i dont make it through the next day
there will be no other way
i must overcome this excrusiating pain
before i watch myself fadeing away

alone in distant fear
with drumbeats of my heart
beating out a suicide urge
i cry into the dark

this dissapointment is killing me
stabbing, stinging
wounding my sanity
my soul is impaled my your dagger of melencoly
a riged hole only you can fill

sobbing out my terror
in a night shaded haze
i scream into the black
as tears roll down my face
..........

your one evil mofo

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better grammer and different choices of words (and grr...if it said 'soul' one more time!!!!) it'd be not bad.

the first verse is not bad at all, but the rest appears a little too forced.

i dont think grammer is very nessecary in song lyrics.

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thanks for the input. i appreciate it.

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nice, your weird too.

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were you really in the nut house?

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yeah i was really in the nut house...

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quiet down weijia, you threaten to hijack yet another thread.


not bad, sin.

i mean grammer is in the 'there, their, they're' grammer.

like, 'have you drinken any more' = drank

beating out a suicide urge = becomes beating out a suicidal urge.

etc.

but hey....i'm only trying to constructivly criticise.

Morbid is right though, the grammar and spelling does suffer quite a big blow on this one.


hehehe....soul.

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god damn my shit sucks...sorry for making you all suffer..

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Nah, just find a thesauraus and look under soul. They're right about the grammar too, but that's really nit-picky, cause if you get it, it's gotten, right? And if you couldnt follow that sentence, fuck you.

Why were you in the nut-house anyways? 16 and you've already been there......what the hell happened?

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i was in the nut house becuase....i killed someone and pleaded insanity .. heh just kidding.......no becuase of drugs....depression.. and attempted suicide... if you wana know more just ask.

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Yes, her and her x-boy friend where deeply in love. And for some reason he lost it and started to abuse her. Mentally she became unstable and her feeling of well bien was lost. He made her feel like she didnt belong, and just insulted her constintaly about her looks, talents, everthing about her. Every night i would get a call from her and a constant story about what he did. I have really never heard anyone swear and insult some one so much. Soon he told her to kill herself and that he didnt care what she did becuase she didnt matter and it drove her over the edge. And then her drinking and drug problem kicked in even more. After he broke up with her that was it. She was put in first becuase she slit her wrist open and overdosed on vikadin. After she got out another boyfriend physically abused her. And soon came more torment from her other X, frequently stopping by to give her stuff back and calling her just to yell at her. She commided her seld this time becuase her ego had grown some from there, but for alonger period of time. Also things from the past sort of mest her up, sexual herassment, things that are hard to touch on. She was on anti-depressent meds and some other stuff but she has resently gotten off them. She was going to rehab but she graduated and now shes clean. And her she is now, clean and well bieng.

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...

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That's quite the story.

I don't want to sound like a jackass....but why can't women just ignore assholes like that? How hard is it to hang up the phone or close the front door when they come by? If things become too insane, then have a restraining order placed on the fucker.

Anyways.....well, *cough*.....yeah. I cut myself shaving once....well, a lot of times actually....usually right over my adam's apple, hurts like hell. Fuck man....

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I always told her to but like, for girls when your truley in love it just cant work like that *whip* lol. But she can now. I got an electric shaver im so cool.

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Yes it can work for girls. I broke my ex's heart cause i was stupid......and right we didn't talk for about 7 months straight from the day we broke up.

Now we're back together because it was a huge mistake to break up....but live and learn.

Again, i don't want to sound like a jackass......but girls who won't let go of a guy they love even though the guy's abusive are just clingy and can't let go of a dream.....i don't think it's really love. But that's my opinion.

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*moved*

lol, how was that, not seeing her for 7 hole mounths, didnt that kill you.

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Practically did kill me.

Well....mostly guilt was killing me.

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Not bad for lyrical forum

Hmm 7 months would be impossible for me to go without seeing my gf. But oh well, and everything said regarding lyrics I agree with.

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