Visions of smoke and fire
Strung up, animated
Automate me because I'm done trying
Pulse slow, coma inducing
Life essentials kept on the rotation

Computer controlled and given life
Simple monitors read my optics
Plagued by the visions of retreat
Come into my closed world

Consumed by fire
Inhale my smoke
Breathe, Choke, Die
Now i'll see light

Beyond these window panes
I see glimpses of light
Rare sights of what's meant to be
Aged glass fades with time

But they never see back in
This room lies on another plane
Absent of light and reason
Transparent to those not apart of

Can you see behind those closed doors?
See the burning flames?
Feel the intense heat?
I can't turn the knob to walk away

Consumed by fire
Inhale my smoke
Breathe, Choke, Die
Now i'll see light



I'm not going to go through each thing and say what it means, cause a bunch of it is just too metaphorical to even bother. But these lyrics are more or less talking about how one can be completely surrounded by opportunity and "normal living." But how there are people who don't live inside the standard circle who constantly look in and say they want what the general populous wants. And although its easy to obtain they never do because they are constantly looking through "window panes."

Btw, i'm not sure if this is finished, this will definately go to a song. So i'll have to fit and readjust and maybe repost. We'll see.

Thoughts?

__________________

That was pretty cool. I liked the imagery you used to show the idea you were getting across. I think I have done that many times. It's frustrating and hindsight or should of's can amke it worse if they're dwelled upon.

Good luck with it.

__________________

Isn't that seriously the truth.

__________________

Nice concept. However man, what would be cool is if you used like, more a appropriate words to replace phrases. Sometimes it seemed you used a combination of words to make a phrase to get to the point of what you meant or felt. Something I always try to avoid is that unless it's really really necessary. Sometimes I'd sit for like half an hour thinking, oh fuck whats a god damned word that will fit there... Because this is like an ominous or sinister piece, you want that brooding feeling with it, and when you try to make a combination or sort of half assed words to convey what you mean, its sort of ruins the exact nature of it.

Thats what I feel.

ok i think i know what you mean. Good feedback for sure. I'll have to keep that in mind in the future. This is definately not my standard style of writing, as i (as i'm sure you know) usually write blunt lyrics with some slight use of metaphors or coloring words. I will definately agree that i'm probably not the "happiest" with the way some of it came out. I probably wrote nearly 5 extra paragraphs of stuff that i erased just because i couldn't get it to work.

__________________