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2006-08-29, 21:49
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FFFFFFFFFFFUUUUUUUUUUUUUU
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Join Date: Mar 2006
Location: St. Louis
Posts: 3,003
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My Inner Thirst For Justice(Revenge) Is Quenched
Some things I have to say before I write this;
1. First time I've ever written lyrics
2. It's star wars themed
3. Not finished
I only have the intro and the preverse done. The first verse isn't finish, so... yeah. Laugh.
Intro:
No!
Creature of the Dark Side
He could have had me but no
He wallows in a pool of cowardice
And preys on those weaker than him
Pathetic Dark Jedi
You never knew me or cared to come after me
But even if we never met
You still took my life from me
With a slice of your saber
You took the child I adored
With your cruel use of the Force
You tortured and slayed the woman I loved
My Jedi Masters, my next of kin
betrayed me by freeing you
You twisted your lies to mask your taint, and
Because of our ways you were forgiven
I see the flaws in our code
They let shit like you go unpunished
There is no peace, there is emotion
The way of the light won't stop you
I must fall to end you...
Preverse:
1st part: (Yoda audio clip talking about the Dark Side and what it is)
2nd Part:
Anger Rising
Hate Boiling
Cold Blood Flowing
Power focused
3rd part:
I need (spill his blood)
I must obtain (crush his innards)
I can't live without (smash his skull in)
I want Justice(Revenge!)
Verse 1:
The Jedi way is a failed religion
Such a path cannot bring me peace
I must follow the opposite, the contrast
My goal lies in the darkness
I cannot fall completely
Suach a move will result in corruption
I must use the Dark Side to end this injustice
My dark path will not lead to self-destuction
From Dantooine to Manaan, I follow the black stench
From the Core to the Rim, I search in the shadows
I hear the echoes he leaves in the Force
The sound grows stronger as I get close
So yeah. That's all I have so far. I'll post anything else I have written down later.
__________________
DETH TOLL!!!
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Quote:
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Originally Posted by Amadeus
It's really sad, all those people who don't understand why we shouldn't act like our enemies. The real victory is not only killing and imprisoning the terrorists, but also letting civilized manners override the lust for revenge, once the battle is over.
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Last edited by CompelledToLacerate : 2006-08-30 at 04:06.
Reason: Thanks LBXXX for pointing out the part in the intro I left out
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2006-08-29, 22:01
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Post-whore
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Join Date: Aug 2004
Posts: 4,723
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I lol'd.
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2006-08-29, 23:13
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Slayer of dumb cunts
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Location: Virginia Tech, Blacksburg, va
Posts: 3,622
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I must say out of all the submissions i have read this is probably the most.... out there yet. As far as topics go. I'm not going to ask why you wrote a star wars set of lyrics, but oh well..
Its actually not that bad.
For first lyrics not too shabby.
__________________
Quote:
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Originally Posted by Darko
...Its very annoying to keep having to hear some socially-disabled teen come on these boards talking about all the drugs he's started doing so that he can maybe grasp onto some kind of positive response so he feels better about himself and what he's doing.
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About requiem. Aint it the truth... |
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2006-08-29, 23:31
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dsnt trust ne1 < 30
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Join Date: Jan 2003
Location: Home is where the <3 is
Posts: 8,881
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It's not the first time movies have sparked writing. You did leave out a word in the last line of the 5th part of the intro. The word "innards" made me smile. I just can't take that word seriously. Maybe a replacement there unless it's pertinent to his speech.
It wasn't too bad. I liked the last 3 sections after it says 1st verse the best, but the rest was okay. Someone better versed in Star Wars can comment on the actual happenings in it. I saw the first one 5 times, but its been ages since I've seen that and couldn't get into the others. wally made me go in the kitchen and cook when they watched it here. 
You had some good form. Hope you write more. You have a good start.
__________________
My eldest son's bipolar website: www.bipolarmanifesto.com
-wally: Mom, you shouldn't play after me because it makes you sound even worse than you already do. -wally:*grumbles and whispers quietly* I guess it's cuz I love you or something, but you're still a TURD
Grimm:I could read your mind but its in font size .5
Amadeus:Oh, and was there a cesserole (never mind spelling) involved?
Paddy:the fact that you didn't end up on a kids show makes me question my atheism
Dyldo: You evil strumpet!
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2006-08-30, 00:12
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Post-whore
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Join Date: Sep 2005
Location: terra firma
Posts: 6,940
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you need bigger words
im actually writing power metal lyrcis ill postr some when finsh
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2006-08-30, 04:18
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Join Date: Mar 2006
Location: St. Louis
Posts: 3,003
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I would too if I were you. 
Quote:
I must say out of all the submissions i have read this is probably the most.... out there yet. As far as topics go. I'm not going to ask why you wrote a star wars set of lyrics, but oh well..
Its actually not that bad.
For first lyrics not too shabby.
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Thanks.
And to answer your question you weren't going to ask ( ), We are basing most of our songs lyric-wise on star wars and Sith and Jedi philosophy.
Quote:
It's not the first time movies have sparked writing. You did leave out a word in the last line of the 5th part of the intro. The word "innards" made me smile. I just can't take that word seriously. Maybe a replacement there unless it's pertinent to his speech.
It wasn't too bad. I liked the last 3 sections after it says 1st verse the best, but the rest was okay. Someone better versed in Star Wars can comment on the actual happenings in it. I saw the first one 5 times, but its been ages since I've seen that and couldn't get into the others. wally made me go in the kitchen and cook when they watched it here.
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Thanks for pointing out that error in the intro. The word was "way."
As far as the "Innards" part goes, I was leaning either between "innards" and "organs." Don't know which would capture a reader's attention more. Maybe try to make "Viscera" work, but I dunno.
Must of our lyrics aren't really based on just the movies but on all of the Star Wars universe. In this case, I talk about how a man (or a Jedi) will become that which he hates to obtain the power to obtain justice (which he misconstrudes with "revenge", hence, the title).
I know  . That's why I never wrote lyrics because I don't have an extensive vocabulary.
Time to crack open the thesaurus.
__________________
DETH TOLL!!!
Keep checking for new crap.
Quote:
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Originally Posted by Amadeus
It's really sad, all those people who don't understand why we shouldn't act like our enemies. The real victory is not only killing and imprisoning the terrorists, but also letting civilized manners override the lust for revenge, once the battle is over.
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2006-08-30, 04:30
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Post-whore
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Join Date: Aug 2004
Posts: 4,723
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Quote:
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Originally Posted by CompelledToLacerate
And to answer your question you weren't going to ask ( ), We are basing most of our songs lyric-wise on star wars and Sith and Jedi philosophy. |
No doubt you were KOTOR inspired as well? I see inspirations from the Sith code there...
Quote:
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Originally Posted by CompelledToLacerate
Must of our lyrics aren't really based on just the movies but on all of the Star Wars universe. In this case, I talk about how a man (or a Jedi) will become that which he hates to obtain the power to obtain justice (which he misconstrudes with "revenge", hence, the title).
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So the guy wants power, but more quickly than it would come if he remained on the light side? The light side is supposed to be stronger anyway. |
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2006-08-30, 04:43
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FFFFFFFFFFFUUUUUUUUUUUUUU
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Join Date: Mar 2006
Location: St. Louis
Posts: 3,003
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Quote:
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Originally Posted by blizzard_beast
I see you used a bit of the "Jedi code" from KOTOR as well.
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yeah, kind of. Where it says "There is no peace, there is emotion," the code is actually the opposite of that, but from his perspective, this is how he is seeing it.
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So the guy wants power, but more quickly than it would come if he remained on the light side? The light side is supposed to be stronger anyway.
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The light side leads to enlightenment rather than power and a person becomes stronger through patience and time. But emotions such as anger and hate can drive someone to go to drastic measures to achieve their own sense of what is right.
__________________
DETH TOLL!!!
Keep checking for new crap.
Quote:
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Originally Posted by Amadeus
It's really sad, all those people who don't understand why we shouldn't act like our enemies. The real victory is not only killing and imprisoning the terrorists, but also letting civilized manners override the lust for revenge, once the battle is over.
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2006-08-30, 13:18
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The Man Who Is, MGI.
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Join Date: Jul 2004
Posts: 2,216
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Hehehe not too bad. Kinda funny in parts though.
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Originally Posted by ImBored
I feel a bit arabic spending 30 minutes in the toilet.
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2006-08-30, 13:55
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Slayer of dumb cunts
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Join Date: Sep 2005
Location: Virginia Tech, Blacksburg, va
Posts: 3,622
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Quote:
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Originally Posted by CompelledToLacerate
And to answer your question you weren't going to ask ( ), We are basing most of our songs lyric-wise on star wars and Sith and Jedi philosophy. |
Precisely why i didn't ask haha. Do i hear.... yet another genre of metal... No not forest metal. no not troll metal... Stars Wars Metal......
__________________
Quote:
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Originally Posted by Darko
...Its very annoying to keep having to hear some socially-disabled teen come on these boards talking about all the drugs he's started doing so that he can maybe grasp onto some kind of positive response so he feels better about himself and what he's doing.
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About requiem. Aint it the truth... |
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2006-08-30, 14:55
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FFFFFFFFFFFUUUUUUUUUUUUUU
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Join Date: Mar 2006
Location: St. Louis
Posts: 3,003
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Quote:
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Originally Posted by tmfreak
Precisely why i didn't ask haha. Do i hear.... yet another genre of metal... No not forest metal. no not troll metal... Stars Wars Metal......
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Oh God  That would rule.
__________________
DETH TOLL!!!
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Quote:
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Originally Posted by Amadeus
It's really sad, all those people who don't understand why we shouldn't act like our enemies. The real victory is not only killing and imprisoning the terrorists, but also letting civilized manners override the lust for revenge, once the battle is over.
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2006-08-30, 19:16
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Post-whore
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Join Date: Sep 2005
Location: terra firma
Posts: 6,940
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write me some pokemon lyrics
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2006-08-30, 19:22
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FFFFFFFFFFFUUUUUUUUUUUUUU
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Join Date: Mar 2006
Location: St. Louis
Posts: 3,003
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Meh, I would, but I can't find any depth in pokemon like I sort of can in Star Wars. Pokemon is just another product of the corporate machine.
__________________
DETH TOLL!!!
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Quote:
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Originally Posted by Amadeus
It's really sad, all those people who don't understand why we shouldn't act like our enemies. The real victory is not only killing and imprisoning the terrorists, but also letting civilized manners override the lust for revenge, once the battle is over.
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2006-08-30, 19:29
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Post-whore
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Join Date: Sep 2005
Location: terra firma
Posts: 6,940
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HEY! dont dis pikachu like that ill write one than
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2006-08-30, 20:10
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Forum Daemon
Forum Leader
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Join Date: Aug 2001
Posts: 4,982
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I love Star Wars, but you're kidding yourself if you think it has any real depth - or at least any that isn't stolen - or is anything more than a corporate product.
The lyrics themselves are blunt, but fine.
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2006-08-30, 23:33
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FFFFFFFFFFFUUUUUUUUUUUUUU
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Join Date: Mar 2006
Location: St. Louis
Posts: 3,003
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"depth" may be the wrong word. What I meant was that I can find more connections between Star Wars and reapity than I can with something like Pokemon.
And I'm not denying that Star Wars isn't a corporate product. Of course it is. It's made billions of dollars, it's got a line of video games, novels, toys, and so on. The one thing I think sets it apart from other corporate products is that it keeps trying and doesn't make you lose interest.
__________________
DETH TOLL!!!
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Quote:
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Originally Posted by Amadeus
It's really sad, all those people who don't understand why we shouldn't act like our enemies. The real victory is not only killing and imprisoning the terrorists, but also letting civilized manners override the lust for revenge, once the battle is over.
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Last edited by CompelledToLacerate : 2006-08-30 at 23:38.
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2006-09-06, 23:00
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FFFFFFFFFFFUUUUUUUUUUUUUU
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Join Date: Mar 2006
Location: St. Louis
Posts: 3,003
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Quote:
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Originally Posted by CompelledToLacerate
Intro:
No!
Creature of the Dark Side
He could have had me but no
He wallows in a pool of cowardice
And preys on those weaker than him
Pathetic Dark Jedi
You never knew me or cared to come after me
But even if we never met
You still took my life from me
With a slice of your saber
You took the child I adored
With your cruel use of the Force
You tortured and slayed the woman I loved
My Jedi Masters, my next of kin
betrayed me by freeing you
You twisted your lies to mask your taint, and
Because of our ways you were forgiven
I see the flaws in our code
They let shit like you go unpunished
There is no peace, there is emotion
The way of the light won't stop you
I must fall to end you...
Preverse:
1st part: (Yoda audio clip talking about the Dark Side and what it is)
2nd Part:
Anger Rising
Hate Boiling
Cold Blood Flowing
Power focused
3rd part:
I need (spill his blood)
I must obtain (crush his innards)
I can't live without (smash his skull in)
I want Justice(Revenge!)
Verse 1:
The Jedi way is a failed religion
Such a path cannot bring me peace
I must follow the opposite, the contrast
My goal lies in the darkness
I cannot fall completely
Suach a move will result in corruption
I must use the Dark Side to end this injustice
My dark path will not lead to self-destuction
From Dantooine to Manaan, I follow the black stench
From the Core to the Rim, I search in the shadows
I hear the echoes he leaves in the Force
The sound grows stronger as I get close
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Picking up from here, I've written more lyrics;
I must kill the noise!
(Bridge)
Verse 2:
A race is nothing without its obstacles
Some I can use to my own means
Others are distractions that stifle my power
Giving him more time
A woman who has lost her life like me
She begs on the street for charity
I look at her, trying to see myself
All I saw was weakness
She laid a hand on me pleading for help
I took that hand and ripped it off
She cried begging for mercy
My hatred gave her death
I grabbed the bitch and stabbed her heart
I felt my power grow as she died
No time to rejoice, there is an echo in the Force
Follower of the Light has come for me...
(Bridge)
Chorus: (Done in either a clean voice or different pitch growl, to give the illusion of another person talking in the story/song)
Old ally, brother, friend of mine
Your dark agenda pains me so
There is still time, you can still turn back
Redeem yourself and come back to the light
You will not find peace in your plot for revenge
The dark side brings only suffering, no harmony
Remember, "There is no emotion, there is peace"
Return to the light, for me, for yourself
Verse 3 (Back to the previous growl [aka the dude this story is about]):
I was nothing before, just a fucking cripple
Your way brings stagnation, mine brings me power
It is clear now that you need a demonstration
Experience the dark side, you weak crippled cunt!
(Synth: Lightsaber duel layered with Palpatine dialogue from Return of the Jedi; "Young fool. Only now, at the end, do you understand).
My anger brings me power, brings me strength, brings me victory
Passion is all I need, fuck your peace and your serenity
Your path has lead to your own demise
Death is the only way you will ever learn
(Die!) You weak echo in the Force
(Die!) You are a flaw that needs correcting
(Die!) You now know the pain that I go through
(Chorus voice) STAND DOWN!
(Repeat chorus in the clean/different growl voice)
Bridge to Breakdown (back to original growl):
He's here
I can feel his power
His fear is untamed, and it eats at him slowly
My inner thirst for revenge is quenched
Breakdown:
You took my heir, you took my love
You tricked my brethren and didn't pay
Your death will give me strength
The ability need to end my pain
Your skill lacks in focus, you pussy piece of shit...
.... and that's it so far.
__________________
DETH TOLL!!!
Keep checking for new crap.
Quote:
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Originally Posted by Amadeus
It's really sad, all those people who don't understand why we shouldn't act like our enemies. The real victory is not only killing and imprisoning the terrorists, but also letting civilized manners override the lust for revenge, once the battle is over.
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2006-09-06, 23:19
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HES BAAACK
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Join Date: Apr 2004
Location: slaying all the giants
Posts: 9,967
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Quote:
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Originally Posted by CompelledToLacerate
The one thing I think sets it apart from other corporate products is that it keeps trying and doesn't make you lose interest.
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tell that to anyone who's seen the last three 
anyways the concept of star wars based lyrics....well its original.
__________________
www.myspace.com/crownedmusic
http://i79.photobucket.com/albums/j136/transient_shirts/Banner.gif
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2006-09-06, 23:21
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Post-whore
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Join Date: Sep 2005
Location: terra firma
Posts: 6,940
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Good man i like your lyrics
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2006-09-06, 23:24
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FFFFFFFFFFFUUUUUUUUUUUUUU
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Join Date: Mar 2006
Location: St. Louis
Posts: 3,003
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I've also got some idea of what I want another song I made to be about. IT won't be a story like this, but more of a.... I dunno. But the song is right now called "Sodomy Conquest" and it was going to be about either how advertising fucks people in the ass or.... just about a conquest to fuck everyone in the ass. But that was before we decided to go with the Star Wars theme for our songs, so I'm thinking it should be about the Mandalorians and what they are, what they do, why they do it, what their history is. Good stuff.
Probably call it "Mandalorian conquest" or "The Mandalore Crusade"
__________________
DETH TOLL!!!
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Quote:
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Originally Posted by Amadeus
It's really sad, all those people who don't understand why we shouldn't act like our enemies. The real victory is not only killing and imprisoning the terrorists, but also letting civilized manners override the lust for revenge, once the battle is over.
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2006-09-07, 17:30
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Forum Daemon
Forum Leader
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Join Date: Aug 2001
Posts: 4,982
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http://www.myspace.com/anchorheaddarthmetal
Get rid of lines like 'pussy piece of shit.' If you want it to be Star Wars themed, then at least make an effort to write in the same manner as all of the other people who do this shit for a living and who've defined what the Star War universe is going to be.
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2006-09-07, 20:50
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FFFFFFFFFFFUUUUUUUUUUUUUU
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Join Date: Mar 2006
Location: St. Louis
Posts: 3,003
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Yeah, but "Pussy piece of shit" is so metal!
I'll figure out something different for that part. I wasn't too sure about it either.
I saw that MYSpace page. If anything, that band is why we decided to go with Star Wars since we know it is possible to do it.
__________________
DETH TOLL!!!
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Quote:
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Originally Posted by Amadeus
It's really sad, all those people who don't understand why we shouldn't act like our enemies. The real victory is not only killing and imprisoning the terrorists, but also letting civilized manners override the lust for revenge, once the battle is over.
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2006-09-23, 21:39
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FFFFFFFFFFFUUUUUUUUUUUUUU
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Join Date: Mar 2006
Location: St. Louis
Posts: 3,003
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Quote:
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Originally Posted by CompelledToLacerate
Picking up from here, I've written more lyrics;
I must kill the noise!
(Bridge)
Verse 2:
A race is nothing without its obstacles
Some I can use to my own means
Others are distractions that stifle my power
Giving him more time
A woman who has lost her life like me
She begs on the street for charity
I look at her, trying to see myself
All I saw was weakness
She laid a hand on me pleading for help
I took that hand and ripped it off
She cried begging for mercy
My hatred gave her death
I grabbed the bitch and stabbed her heart
I felt my power grow as she died
No time to rejoice, there is an echo in the Force
Follower of the Light has come for me...
(Bridge)
Chorus: (Done in either a clean voice or different pitch growl, to give the illusion of another person talking in the story/song)
Old ally, brother, friend of mine
Your dark agenda pains me so
There is still time, you can still turn back
Redeem yourself and come back to the light
You will not find peace in your plot for revenge
The dark side brings only suffering, no harmony
Remember, "There is no emotion, there is peace"
Return to the light, for me, for yourself
Verse 3 (Back to the previous growl [aka the dude this story is about]):
I was nothing before, just a fucking cripple
Your way brings stagnation, mine brings me power
It is clear now that you need a demonstration
Experience the dark side, you weak crippled cunt!
(Synth: Lightsaber duel layered with Palpatine dialogue from Return of the Jedi; "Young fool. Only now, at the end, do you understand).
My anger brings me power, brings me strength, brings me victory
Passion is all I need, fuck your peace and your serenity
Your path has lead to your own demise
Death is the only way you will ever learn
(Die!) You weak echo in the Force
(Die!) You are a flaw that needs correcting
(Die!) You now know the pain that I go through
(Chorus voice) STAND DOWN!
(Repeat chorus in the clean/different growl voice)
Bridge to Breakdown (back to original growl):
He's here
I can feel his power
His fear is untamed, and it eats at him slowly
My inner thirst for revenge is quenched
Breakdown:
You took my heir, you took my love
You tricked my brethren and didn't pay
Your death will give me strength
The ability need to end my pain
Your skill lacks in focus, you pussy piece of shit...
.... and that's it so far.
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The remaining lyrics...
It's no shock you wallow in fear of facing Hell
Nowhere to hide, nowhere to run now
Your life ends here at the stroke of my saber
(Obi-wan quote, "Don't give in to hate, That leads to the Dark Side.")
Stay out of this
My revenge will be done
(Lightsaber slicing noise, scream)
(Anakin Quote, "What have I done?")
(Chorus)
Outro:
I have slayed my nightmare
I hoped for harmony after vengence
That peace didn't remain
Just the blood on my hands
In hopes of serving justice, I served darkness
It pains me that it took so long
I slayed peoplebecause of their frail existance
There remained my reflection on the Dark man's dying corpse
I deserve no right to redemption or forgiveness
After falling, I've learned no contrast holds all answers
I lack the maturity to handle the Force
No more shall I wield it until I forgive myself
My dark path of hate is over
I will remember forever
It's time to lay to rest my loved ones
May their souls and mine be granted eternal tranquility
__________________
DETH TOLL!!!
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Quote:
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Originally Posted by Amadeus
It's really sad, all those people who don't understand why we shouldn't act like our enemies. The real victory is not only killing and imprisoning the terrorists, but also letting civilized manners override the lust for revenge, once the battle is over.
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2006-09-25, 07:13
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Forum Daemon
Forum Leader
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Join Date: Aug 2001
Posts: 4,982
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How long is this song?
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2006-09-25, 08:30
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FFFFFFFFFFFUUUUUUUUUUUUUU
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Join Date: Mar 2006
Location: St. Louis
Posts: 3,003
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approx. 7 min and 40 sec.
This isn't, however, the final draft. When I can, I"m gonna send my lyrics to my friend (lead guitarist) and see what his revisions are. He's better at lyrics than me, and I'll take his and your (the people who suggested stuff) suggestions and I'll be finished with the lyrics.
I"m getting the hang of writing stuff.
__________________
DETH TOLL!!!
Keep checking for new crap.
Quote:
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Originally Posted by Amadeus
It's really sad, all those people who don't understand why we shouldn't act like our enemies. The real victory is not only killing and imprisoning the terrorists, but also letting civilized manners override the lust for revenge, once the battle is over.
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2006-09-27, 04:54
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New Blood
Banned
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Join Date: Sep 2006
Posts: 7
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WTF?!
 dude, how weak do I have to present myself as being before you'll mount my waiting anus? you actually think I can wait a 'long time' just because you're 'far, far away'?
okay...
1. My penis is the size of a single-use tube of toothpaste!
2. My ass has been invaded and dominated more times than Sicily.
3. THERE IS NO THREE!
4. Your lyrics are extremely arousing. I have used them just now to give myself an erection, which I am about to use to masturbate with.
when will people learn?
Last edited by PST 88 : 2006-09-27 at 06:53.
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2006-09-27, 05:33
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FFFFFFFFFFFUUUUUUUUUUUUUU
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Join Date: Mar 2006
Location: St. Louis
Posts: 3,003
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YOur constructive criticism has been well reciend and will be documented properly. 
__________________
DETH TOLL!!!
Keep checking for new crap.
Quote:
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Originally Posted by Amadeus
It's really sad, all those people who don't understand why we shouldn't act like our enemies. The real victory is not only killing and imprisoning the terrorists, but also letting civilized manners override the lust for revenge, once the battle is over.
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2006-09-27, 06:53
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Forum Daemon
Forum Leader
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Join Date: Aug 2001
Posts: 4,982
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As always, keep the criticism constructive or keep the fuck out of my forum.
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2006-09-27, 13:46
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Life is pain.
Banned
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Join Date: Jun 2004
Location: Australia
Posts: 4,510
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AHAAHAhahahahhahaaahahhaahaaa
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2007-05-26, 07:13
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FFFFFFFFFFFUUUUUUUUUUUUUU
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Join Date: Mar 2006
Location: St. Louis
Posts: 3,003
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__________________
DETH TOLL!!!
Keep checking for new crap.
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Originally Posted by Amadeus
It's really sad, all those people who don't understand why we shouldn't act like our enemies. The real victory is not only killing and imprisoning the terrorists, but also letting civilized manners override the lust for revenge, once the battle is over.
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2007-10-29, 03:24
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FFFFFFFFFFFUUUUUUUUUUUUUU
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Join Date: Mar 2006
Location: St. Louis
Posts: 3,003
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I've been working on revision for all my songs, and I wanna see what you guys think. Is this progress or not?
Creature of the Dark Side
Wallowing in cowardice
Preying on the helpless
Pathetic murderer
Our paths have never crossed
Yet you took my life
With a thrust of your saber
You took my heir to the throne
You’ve slain the woman I love
My Masters
How blind can they be
To pardon your malice
I see the flaws in our code
The light is inert
I must fall to end you...
The Jedi way is failure
So I must follow the contrast
My goal masked in blackness
I cannot fall completely
Or I will drown in corruption
My path mustn’t lead to destruction
From Dantooine to Manaan,
I follow the black stench
From Core to Rim,
I search for that wretch
My journey presents obstacles
Some I can use to my own means
Others stifle my power
A woman, lifeless and empty like me
She begs on the street for charity
All I saw was mediocrity
I grappled and ended her
I ascended as she fell
No time to rejoice
An echo in the Force
Follower of the Light
Coming to stop me
(Clean)
Old ally, brother, friend of mine
Your dark agenda agonizes me
There is still time for redemption
No such thing as peace in revenge
The dark side brings only suffering
"There is no emotion, there is peace"
Return to the light, salivate your soul
(growl)
I was nothing but a walking shell
Your stagnation is the true threat
A demonstration is in order
Experience the dark side!
(Synth.: Lightsaber duel layered with Palpatine dialogue from Return of the Jedi; "Young fool. Only now, at the end, do you understand.” ).
The Dark Side brings me victory
Passion is my law, not your serenity
Your frail path has lead to your end
(Clean)
Old ally, brother, friend of mine
Your dark agenda agonizes me
There is still time for redemption
No such thing as peace in revenge
The dark side brings only suffering
"There is no emotion, there is peace"
Return to the light, salivate your soul
(Growl)
He has no right to live
With this blade, I shall give
He has no right to live
With this blade, I shall give
Judgment!
(Anakin Quote, "What have I done?")
(clean)
Old ally, brother, friend of mine
Your dark agenda agonizes me
There is still time for redemption
No such thing as peace in revenge
The dark side brings only suffering
"There is no emotion, there is peace"
Return to the light, salivate your soul
(spoken)
The nightmare is over
Nothing remains but
A stain on my hands
I deserve no pardon for
My ineptitude
No more shall I wield it
My dark path is over
I will remember it best
When I join my loved ones
May our souls receive eternal rest
__________________
DETH TOLL!!!
Keep checking for new crap.
Quote:
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Originally Posted by Amadeus
It's really sad, all those people who don't understand why we shouldn't act like our enemies. The real victory is not only killing and imprisoning the terrorists, but also letting civilized manners override the lust for revenge, once the battle is over.
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2007-12-10, 16:00
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New Blood
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Join Date: Jun 2006
Posts: 44
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your writing technique is very good your subject matter is on the same level as something that came out of my ass. My advice go out and get some life experience (stop sitting on your ass eating cookies and watching star wars) then write about it using your simple yet stark style
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