MetalTabs.com - your source for Metal tabs
Home Forum FAQ Contact Us Link to Us


Go Back   MetalTabs.com Forum > Metal > Poetry Lyrical


 
 
Old 2006-08-17, 19:35
Mystic
New Blood
 
Join Date: Aug 2006
Posts: 9
Forest Of Serenity

beams of light dance with shadows
while the dawning hearts open
blue spirits are accepted inside
there color of peace revives within
a soothing whisper talks through winds
blowing against my mind I see
the last of the falling angel
falling from the sky to the ground
Drifting into a deep sleep he breaths
I imagine him gone, feelings washes ashore
loneliness seems so far but hes here
singing my heart a lullaby, I see a kiss
the perfect nightmare awakens
frozen solid beneath the silenced waters
I stand upon a tree stump dancing
the wind blowing underneath my skirt
through my hair it runs through
the dark green trees surround me
while he stands behind the darkness
I seek a smile within his eyes
the waterfall singing with his voice
he whispers to me, "Love within you"
"I seek your love...for you"
as the dance ends, the light lifts me
as he watches me float to the skies
I dissapear...
 
Old 2006-08-17, 20:22
L,B'XXX's Avatar
L,B'XXX
dsnt trust ne1 < 30
 
Join Date: Jan 2003
Location: Home is where the <3 is
Posts: 8,881
You've got a lot of imagery going on in here, but it seems really disjointed to me. I read it twice and just can't get a good flow. Maybe have another look at it and see if it can be altered a little to organize the thoughts. I liked the idea in it and the moodiness, but it was just missing something to me.
__________________
My eldest son's bipolar website: www.bipolarmanifesto.com

-wally: Mom, you shouldn't play after me because it makes you sound even worse than you already do. -wally:*grumbles and whispers quietly* I guess it's cuz I love you or something, but you're still a TURD
Grimm:I could read your mind but its in font size .5
Amadeus:Oh, and was there a cesserole (never mind spelling) involved?
Paddy:the fact that you didn't end up on a kids show makes me question my atheism
Dyldo: You evil strumpet!

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

vB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is Off
HTML code is Off



Top

========

Contact Us | Privacy Policy | Disclaimer
Copyright © 2001-2014 MetalTabs.com. All Rights Reserved.
Powered by vBulletin
Copyright ©2000 - 2014, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.