I'll problably change the title. I think I can do better than that. I just can't think of anything better right now.

silence surrounding a screaming
tempest pushing back all the blood
and enveloping me within
the closest thing I'll have to calm
for quite some time
as my mind jumps
and hesitates
perpetually swooning
at the precipice on
which I stand
far too frightened to find
the winding rabbit hole
hiding the guillotine
at the end to be thorough
to see nothing but shed tears
and words falling on def ears
at the end of that rabbit






hole

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as my mind jumps
and hesitates
perpetualy swooning
at the precipice on
which I stand
far too frightened to find
the winding rabbit hole
hiding the gillotine

That was really strong with some cool imagery.

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Thankyou very much.

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you've certainly changed stylistically alot, but this is still good and has alot of good-decent imagery. overall a solid piece.

For some reason when I woke up this morning I had the words cathode ray stuck in my head for no apparent reason. Weird. Of course I knew the phrase but I had to look it up on wikipedia to remember what it was. Like I said, weird.

Anyway, your poem is pretty good. You do have a few misspellings in there. I couldn't tell if some of them were intentional.

No, those misspellings weren't intentional. I just didn't catch them. Thanks for the tip though, got all of them fixed I think. And as far as your morning, maybe you listen to dark tranqillity? Cuz they've got a song called cathode ray sushine. I dunno. That's where I got the name anyway.

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