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2006-08-02, 08:41
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New Blood
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Join Date: Aug 2006
Location: Enid, Oklahoma
Posts: 15
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digression
I've been trying real hard to get myself out of a nearly four month writers block. I think I'm starting to get back into the swing of writing. Anyway, enjoy.
The smell of blood is thick and I've said
I've said every word I had to say
now as I fester here in contempt
I recall this was such a simple problem
now I'm being drown by these discrepancies
and these afflictions nothing but dillusions
fallen
into the same hole
over
and over again
I've not
lifted my head
in so long
these obstacles
over head appear
to me a horrible death
for every inch of this place
__________________
All that's left is shadows
Cast by our shallow dreams
But the fire is still burning
So deep inside, inside of me...
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2006-08-02, 22:23
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Supreme Metalhead
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Join Date: Apr 2005
Location: Halifax, nova scotia
Posts: 552
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Cool! I like the idea of starting with something that sounds cliche but then turns out to be a reminiscence very different from what i expected from the first few words.
__________________
Quote:
i have to make this gay ass puppet, for mole day or some shit.
i need ideas. so far i got children of moldem and yngwie molesteen.
yes its a gay project, and no im not in special needs class.
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2006-08-02, 23:43
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dsnt trust ne1 < 30
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Join Date: Jan 2003
Location: Home is where the <3 is
Posts: 8,881
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I like the self-reflectiveness of this and the very human idea of repeatedly making the same mistakes. I think that a reader could put their own metaphor to it and it might be very different from what you've actually meant. I think that makes an audience broader when you can do that.
__________________
My eldest son's bipolar website: www.bipolarmanifesto.com
-wally: Mom, you shouldn't play after me because it makes you sound even worse than you already do. -wally:*grumbles and whispers quietly* I guess it's cuz I love you or something, but you're still a TURD
Grimm:I could read your mind but its in font size .5
Amadeus:Oh, and was there a cesserole (never mind spelling) involved?
Paddy:the fact that you didn't end up on a kids show makes me question my atheism
Dyldo: You evil strumpet!
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2006-08-03, 01:38
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New Blood
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Join Date: Aug 2006
Location: Enid, Oklahoma
Posts: 15
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Thanks for the comments. I'm glad you liked it.
__________________
All that's left is shadows
Cast by our shallow dreams
But the fire is still burning
So deep inside, inside of me...
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