once upon this realm ages ago

in the far ancient age of wisdom

warrior/sorceror Josef Stalin

smote his terrible foes, giants made of stone

wielding his secret magic kalashnikov

he single handedly slain millions and drank thier blood to ascend immortality

upon a truce with the terrible earth hearted volkswagons

stalin agreed to lay with the stone giant priestess, V2-rocket

and make love to her to sanctify the peace between the tribes

V2-rocket later gave birth to MR-UR-100 Sotka / SS-17 Spanker Mod 1 ICBM

soviet interballistic missle.




here lies MR-UR-100 Sotka / SS-17 Spanker Mod 1 ICBM

son of Josef Stalin,son of Vladimir Lenin

R.I.P.

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Me likey, me likey

Well, that was definitely different. I won't claim to know if it's accurate or not, but I liked the general idea for it's freshness.

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upon a truce with the terrible earth hearted volkswagons...

I'd say you've just done something memorable. Interesting enough for me to want to know where it sprung from?

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its a myth,an oral history spoken from the perspective of the 4th-world neolithic man. i operate on the assumption that all civilizations fall similiar to the fall of rome where the vast,vast body of knowledge<the entire foundation of those civilizations> was forever lost. its basically a mixture of fantasy, historical fact and distorted misunderstood historical fact which is basically what myths are.

the tomb is an ICBM site. i should of been more descriptive about the tomb in general. the point of myths is just an interesting story, loosely based on facts, repeated so many times it becomes absurd and almost nonsense

a common thing for ancient cultures when it came to mysterious ruins or statues that predated them they would spin a myth about it. the greeks had the cyclopian walls, the egyptions had the sphinx. these thing were made so long before that classical greece and the egyptians had no idea who built them<usually thier ancestors who thier understanding of history forgot>the myths about them are an attempt at being historical but usually end up fantasy,nonsense and somewhere in those stories there are hints of actual events or something close to being factual.

the whole "pyramidiot" aspect of egyptology or lets say psuedo-egyptology is another symptom of that kind of myth and fantasy. some people believe UFOs,extraterrestrial being built those pyramids, hence the term "pyramidiot". these theories are built around legit egyptology, the time they were built, who built them under what leader<then accuse that pharoh of being an alien> and so forth. taking a rough ouline of truth and applying fantasy to it to the point where the truth is distorted to make the fantasy more interesting.

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You made it clear enough that it was an ICBM tomb. A little knowledge of the history of Stalin (very little) and of V-2 rockets and so on makes it all pretty clear. Pretty cool, if a bit crude.

If you're interested, I could start an argument with you on the subject of myth in particular.
And being crude is really what makes this piece.

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If it were crude in the manner of the things it's imitating, yeah. As it is we have a crude attempt at that kind of ancient, naive crudity. One thing that characterizes that kind of mind is a formal repetition - the Homeric epithet being the most famous type - that's lacking here precisely because it's written by a modern dude doing a quick parody of primitive writing. Which is fine, but it detracts from it for me.

it could be alot better i agree, basically i just wanted to write something about Stalin sleeping with some mythological stone giant woman, the thought of it was making me laugh in that wierd contagious way that thoughts sometimes do. i also wanted to make it short because im not a fan of doing long winded poems.

if i was in a power metal band, this would be the kind of song material id go for. the song would have to be about 20 seconds long tho

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Is that one of those women boogieing in your avatar waiting for him?

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If you were in a power metal band the lengthy instrumental passages would more than make up for the brief lyrics. Plus you'd repeat various parts in increasingly higher registers.

But yeah, I can't find a flaw in the idea.

That would be one unattractive woman, were it the case.

thats actually me..........dancing, getting my groove on


its a character from an arcade game that i was seriously addicted to 10 years ago.and its actually a dude, hes just wearing these big skulls as a necklace

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It's a character from the most famous fighting game of all time (or at least high among the most famous and widely loved), and if L,B'XXX let her kids play video games when Super NES was current and gave a damn about what they played she'd recognize it. But those are two conditionals.

ITS DIM-SIM hahahaha thats what we called him. PS if you can beat me a street fighter or mortal kombat ill give you a billion dollars

Oh hell, they traded/bought/ sold their game systems so much I never knew what was what. I know Castlevania and Mortal Kombat, but that's about it. ICBM doesn't even ring a bell. And I figured, due to their previous records, that they had enough sense to know what to play so I really didn't monitor what they played. But I don't want to derail this thread too much.
I was teasing about the avatar. I just noticed it looked like it was dancing and it reminded me of a woman I used to know that sort of resembled it. Bob might remember her.

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Hey LB I wouldn't have bothered replying to him he just does this to you in every thread you should ignore everything he says because he dosn't like you. now he'll come back with something else intelligent to say bla bla bla to put you and me down.

Yeah, it's incredibly mean of me to accuse a middle-aged woman of not being familiar with Street Fighter II.

Intercontinental Ballistic Missile.

you said it

I did indeed. Good eye.

lol i know ive put at least the smallest thing over you when you of all people resort to something like that. thats actually the first time i see you write something so lame. oh well who cares lets get over it now.

That was very good. I'm impressed. Very original and creative aswell. I don't say that often.

I was responding to a lame post with what I considered to be an equally lame post.

If you want a sophisticated argument indicating that I don't follow L,B around in order to insult her whenever she says something dumb, the best I can do is the following: I have to read this shit because of my duties as a mod, and I comment on it because I'm a bastard with internet access and quick typing skills. But there's nothing malicious about it, and, unlike the handful of teenagers who like to whine about it on her behalf, L,B knows that. The bobpurgis also knows that. If they don't care I can't imagine why you should.

Nah man, I dont care. I just think its lame to hound someone for absolutely no reason, actually last time I checked I thought that was against the rules, but I might be wrong.

No, it's okay. I know I'm not his favorite person, but I do have a bit of respect for the guy. I don't always agree with him, but I know he's not being mean just to be mean. I caught the sarcasm and just played it out.
Don't get me wrong. I do appreciate the chivalry, but sometimes you guys need to calm down.

If people don't act like re-re's he's not that bad.

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It's against the rules to hound somebody, yes. It's not against the rules to do what I do. You idiots just can't tell the difference.

pretty funny how everyone else is wrong and you are right though hey?

Well holy fuckbeans, this poem is so good that it's been talked about for two pages now, how rare.

Oh wait, most of these posts have nothing to do with the god damn poem. Out of nothing else than respect for the person who posted it, why not keep the whinefests out of his fucking thread?

Far as the poem goes, I like that it's different than what usually is put up around here, considering how rare it is to actually have to think about anything that's said. I seem to recall someone saying it was a fresh idea, and I agree. Good shit man

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Where exactly are you going to continue the thread tangent at? It'll get flamed anywhere else anyway.

Fresh? Ooo, that was me! That was me!


Slayme-- the RTT of course. That's where arguments and stuff like that are usually directed and fizzle out. Have you been gone that long?

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I'm not always right, and other people occasionally are. But, since the only people I've suspended for 'hounding,' or harassment, literally took every opportunity the people they hounded posted as an excuse to hurl invective, long after being asked by the offended party to stop, and since this doesn't describe my relationship with L,B (for example, I ignore the majority of her posts but for the most part respond to her responses to mine; I don't just say I hate her but make a critique of what she says (which, incidentally, is a reason for ripping on someone); and virtually allthe criticism of my 'being mean' comes from teenage boys), I am right in this case. Don't bring in specious comparisons and maybe I wouldn't have the opportunity to be right so often; come up with compelling arguments that don't sound like a 14 year-old's rebuke of his father and I might have to work harder to be right. Come up with a real good one and I might have to concede being wrong. Until then, while it's funny for me, I don't see why you'd be amused.

Actually I think this poem could do with being longer. If you're not a fan of long-winded poems you probably shouldn't take on epic subjects (though it might be interesting to see a seven line Iliad:

In the great days of gods and heroes
Achilles was a whiney little emo bitch
Because Agammemnon stole his girl;
But when his boy-toy got killed
He got angry and killed Hector
And drove around with his corpse for a while.
Then some pussy killed him)

14 old rebuke of his father? so a 14 year old has enough common sense not to harrass the fuck out of everyone and a 14 year old is telling you to stop harrassing someone, but you seem to lack the morals of a kid and want to do it anyway for no good cause.

I don't harass anyone. That's the point. If you knew what harassment meant you'd know that. Think before you post and we wouldn't have these problems; I gave an explanation of why I wasn't harassing L,B and you respond emotionally to a rebuke rather than address the points. Hence earning, again, the rebuke.

And you have harassed people here, more than once, so shit-can the moral superiority, darling.

waa waa waa waa well dont call it harrasment call it something else your still being a cunt to her and its lame, thats all im saying. but everyone is right we've both taken this too long i think so i'll stop here an i'll let you have the last word like you always do.