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2006-06-09, 23:52
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Life is pain.
Banned
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Join Date: Jun 2004
Location: Australia
Posts: 4,510
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What about God?
Why should I trust in a God,
If he trusts not in me.
My existence plagued with pain,
Earth's in misery.
This is what I'd say to God,
If Christians had the evidence.
I'd thank him for my chance at life,
But ask it's relevance.
Noone can enjoy in the world,
Humanity's a disgrace.
Too busy caring for ourselves,
We're killing the entire place.
Whole peoples are forgotten.
Innocents die each day.
Why have they no chance at life?
But God won't have his say.
He's okey with sitting in the clouds
Watching his earth fall.
He sees children die each day.
No intervention at all.
I'd tell him not to start something he can't finish.
And tell him to finish what he's started.
For "My vision is my religion."
Ask yourselves this question, "Where is God for me right now?"
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2006-06-10, 00:46
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dsnt trust ne1 < 30
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Join Date: Jan 2003
Location: Home is where the <3 is
Posts: 8,881
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Interesting points to ponder. It sort of ties in with a recent prayer meeting where we discussed darkness and light references. The 7 other ladies were taking it literally, but I asked what if it was metaphoric? A different light on the subject to discuss.  Light being knowledge of the Plan.
I found it mildly amusing that for something with questioning depth you mention God sitting in the clouds. To me it showed the lack of expansion in the other questions. Not a bad thing, but showing our humanness.
__________________
My eldest son's bipolar website: www.bipolarmanifesto.com
-wally: Mom, you shouldn't play after me because it makes you sound even worse than you already do. -wally:*grumbles and whispers quietly* I guess it's cuz I love you or something, but you're still a TURD
Grimm:I could read your mind but its in font size .5
Amadeus:Oh, and was there a cesserole (never mind spelling) involved?
Paddy:the fact that you didn't end up on a kids show makes me question my atheism
Dyldo: You evil strumpet!
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2006-06-10, 18:40
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Senior Metalhead
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Join Date: Jan 2006
Location: Hell
Posts: 269
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It's pretty good and you have some good lines. I'd mix up the rhyme scheme though. the A-B-A-B thing sounds kind of amateurish.
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2006-06-11, 03:50
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Post-whore
Banned
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Join Date: Jul 2005
Location: Sydney, Aus
Posts: 2,037
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I like it, but you're right about the A B A B thing.
It's like the most serious children's poem ever written.
Hah, nah, it's pretty good man, must say I like it.
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2006-06-11, 04:11
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Life is pain.
Banned
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Join Date: Jun 2004
Location: Australia
Posts: 4,510
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lol about the childrens poem.
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2006-06-11, 05:47
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Post-whore
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Join Date: Jul 2004
Location: Toronto
Posts: 1,280
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I really liked it. I personally like the A-B-A-B thing. The last line threw me off a bit because it doesn't really seem to fit. But man I really dig it. Good job.
__________________
"I miss the days when it was acceptable to listen to everything."
-Chuck Schuldiner (R.I.P)
Truer words were never spoken.
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2006-06-11, 09:59
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Quantum.
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Join Date: Sep 2005
Posts: 2,149
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O K, I'll admit you got my sympathy on this. Simple and straightforward, but the thought is there. Wording melody, quite alright. Nice to see one isn't all alone.
__________________
Listening to Cannibal Corpse and cutting trees with a chainsaw, now that's metal
"He preferred the hard truth over his dearest illusion. That, is the heart of science."
- Carl Sagan
"Imagination is more important than intelligence" - Einstein
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