
2006-06-07, 05:05
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Metalhead
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Join Date: May 2006
Location: Nowhere
Posts: 84
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calm
cant get me up
not my heart, nor my feelings
the darkness struck me to the floor
and i cant get up
i see the light
but i cant go any higher
stranded at the bottom
reflections on the walls crumble
like the burning sky above me
like a time i dreamed
cant find it, where has she gone?
the life in her eyes
looking into mine
trying, but I dont want to
will she let me feel her sickness
and as i look behind me
Ill never forget...
the last memory at the gates of life
her light shining on my soul
her binding exit of this world
i wish i could say its jelousy
but my heart wont rest for another lie
and i can feel you here, in the rain
rest, like the sleep i need
from all the years of isolation
from all the running away from the truth
when it was in my head the whole time
i wish I could steal all your pain
and take away the disease
that took away you...-no heart
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2006-06-07, 15:02
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Post-whore
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Join Date: Mar 2006
Location: Candyland
Posts: 1,542
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not took away you, took you away
Okay,
It seemed like one of thoseMCR things like : she died, she's gone forever, she'll never come back and i'm gonna die, except i will be enlightened before i die.
This is a site for metal, so with all due respect, your poetry should be more evil. IMO
and i don't see why you put the word jealousy in that, it really threw me off
__________________
Quote:
Originally Posted by BOB_ZE_METALLEU
are you telling us that you have 4 boobs...2 small and 2 bigs
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2006-06-07, 15:55
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Slayer of dumb cunts
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Join Date: Sep 2005
Location: Virginia Tech, Blacksburg, va
Posts: 3,622
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Quote:
Originally Posted by JOAMdude
not took away you, took you away
Okay,
It seemed like one of thoseMCR things like : she died, she's gone forever, she'll never come back and i'm gonna die, except i will be enlightened before i die.
This is a site for metal, so with all due respect, your poetry should be more evil. IMO
and i don't see why you put the word jealousy in that, it really threw me off
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Just because YOU think metal is all "evil" not everybody does.
Something about this piece doesn't strike me that well as some other ones that i've read. The way it was written is a little too... basic i guess. The point of view didn't make it very intresting.
__________________
Quote:
Originally Posted by Darko
...Its very annoying to keep having to hear some socially-disabled teen come on these boards talking about all the drugs he's started doing so that he can maybe grasp onto some kind of positive response so he feels better about himself and what he's doing.
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About requiem. Aint it the truth...
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