Geez. Where can I get that job?

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HAHAHA WIN

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The Japanese have come up with a helmet which allows its wearer to control a robot through the power of thought:

http://www.guardian.co.uk/science/2...met-honda-asimo

I know what I'll be doing with mine when I get the cash to buy one:

http://img26.imageshack.us/img26/1226/racem.png

WTF? Haha paddy, man o man....how fucked up are you?

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awesome. looks like I wont have to use all that effort to move my wrist and jack off anymore.

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"To control the robot, the person wearing the helmet only had to think about making the movement. Its inventors hope that one day the mind-control technology will allow people to do things like turn air conditioning on or off and open their car boot without putting their shopping down."

That's some bullshit. Everyone knows the Japanese are a warrior culture.

Haha. Fuck, if it weren't for you Paddy, this forum would be long dead.

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That is fucking scary.

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I wonder what the dangers of this contraption are. For instance, when a more sophisticated version is built 50 years from now will it adhere to your thoughts or will it be overpowered by the instructions of your subconscious? Imagine a robot under the control of your most base, primal urges! It'd be raping and pillaging and killing your dad and fuckin' your mum.

What if you willed the robot to commit a crime? That's a pretty difficult thing to prove in court, unless they devise some way of recording a person's thoughts onto the robot's memory, like a mental fingerprint.

Plan #2: Make the robot lick my balls whilst a bearded midget watches through my bedroom window:

http://img3.imageshack.us/img3/4806/21820278.png

In a weird way you disturb me, dude.

Poor midgets

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Haha. What is your obsession with midgets?

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Don't you DARE pity these little gremlins! Didn't you see this?

http://img25.imageshack.us/img25/28...eeeeeeeeeee.png

They're small, cute, sexy and tight, but that doesn't change the fact that they're responsible for the deaths of 100,000,000,000 people and counting.

I'll never stop trying to fuck them with mind-powered robots, and neither should you.

I don't know, it just sort of...happened. One minute I'm obsessed with bathing in the contents of old women's colostomy bags, and the next I'm here posting dodgy shit about midgets and their little fingers. I DON'T KNOW HOW TO STOP!

http://www.myspaceantics.com/images...etal-midget.jpg

Paddy, I believe this is you on the left, attending a Def Leppard concert with your midget fuck-pal Jacob. I know his name because we dated for a while back in the early 90's

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That picture is fucking metal.

Nah, those guys are nowhere near as metal as this guy is.

...or this cat

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HA! You can't fool me, that's just one guy looking into one of those funny mirrors you get a carnivals.

Hahaha that sort of thing cracks me up. It's like Cradle of Filth's lead singer screaming about their new DVD during one of their shows. "Grrrrr, we're filming a new DVD, GRRRRRRR, you're all gonna be in it! RAAAAAAA! It'll be in stores soooooooooon! YEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRGGGGGHHHHHH!"

Satan would be proud.

Haha yeah. Sometimes I spend my spare time on Google Images looking at photos of these fucking dweebs. I don't really have anything against black metal, some of the music is okay, but the whole image is a fucking joke. Especially when people go out in public like that... fuck

I found that picture hilarious too. You can tell just by the way he's sitting there that he's thinking of some grim metaphor about how bitter and dark life is, just like the coffee in front of him.

http://mishkanyc.com/bloglin/wp-con...nibal-smith.jpg
http://i234.photobucket.com/albums/...al-suburbia.jpg

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Why do all BM-fags wear the original Warpaint of Abbath? He got a patent on that kind of corpsepainting!

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INFERNAL BLACK & WHITE TURDS OF THE UNHOLY ONE!

Clearly Christmas morning in Satanic Suburbia haha.

Hahaha yeah, plus it looks like Abbath ripped off KISS!

Haha

Look at this one... somebody should have pushed him over that fucking wall.

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I see he gets his hair cut at Big Jim's Lawnmower Emporium.

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Found some more

http://www.porkbanana.com/wp/wp-con..._blackmetal.jpg

http://ruthlessreviews.com/pics5/bm2/bm3.jpg

http://ruthlessreviews.com/pics5/bm2/bm1.jpg

And : 101 rules of Black Metal.

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HAHA! Either an invisible sandwich, or someone off-camera has just thrown him a novelty-sized beach ball.

There's always ONE guy who insists on taking his shirt off Granted, it's not usually followed by drizzling strawberry milkshake syrup over his chest, but it tends to be either that or cum, so whateva!

Hahahahahaha it took me a minute to see what was unusual about that one...now all I can taste is salt.

Rule #102: Maintain the Peter Pan philosophy of "I never wanna grow up!". Ironically, it was most likely an old man dressed in a Peter Pan outfit who put a halt on their development into adolescents in the first place.

Haha Yeah it took me a while to notice the dick.

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[QUOTE=Paddy]HAHAQUOTE]


Paddy,......are you a midget?

That`d explain all your hate against those schlomos #!

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Hahaha schlomos!

I don't hate anyone, I just enjoy fisting certain types of people more than others. I've been thinking of abandoning my midget obsession though, it's getting a little old. Instead, I will now post needlessly long and unnecessarily graphic tirades about...

*drumroll*

...DWARVES! Generally, they're slightly bigger than midgets, so they can take more of a pounding, and won't split in two when I insert chair legs about their persons.

I've only met one dwarf in my life, however, and I got HIV from him when I ran him over with my car (word of advice: never molest the still-twitching corpse of a flattened dwarf). Haha I'm gonna die of AIDS!

HAHAHA! I think maybe all Irish people have a fetish for Midgets or Dwarves. Which could explain why the Irish have been writing about leprechauns for so long

On a more serious note, I've always wondered, did the Irish ever actually at one time believe in the Tuatha Dé Danann? Or is it just folklore?

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That's why the leprechauns died off, brutal ass rapes from the Irish after a couple bottles of whiskey.

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Something that always confused me about Leprechauns is their vast amounts of potted gold. Where the fuck did they get their greedy little hands on so much dough? Pension fund looting? And what use is it to them? Do they ever spend it? If so, where? TELL ME BLITZ, FUCKING TELL ME NOW.

*Googles Tuatha Dé Danann*

Probably. Even today people here would believe that dog spunk cures toe-ache if they were told about it through the medium of folkish, fiddle-heavy music. Especially with all of this homoeopathy/new age/alternative medicine bollocks that's enticing the imbecilic dumbos out of their caves and into mainstream society. Don't let the fact that there are French-style Bistros on every corner of every street fool you; we're still bog-munching, fog-trotting, potato-slinging, backwards, religiously superstitious fucking spastics who'd suck a cock if we thought it came with a free dream catcher. Fucking crystal energy? Here mate, I have a giant purplish ruby which replenishes your body's essential salts if you lick it hard enough. That'll be 8 quid. Cheers. Now, FUCK off.

Fuck me. FUCK me.

And it breaks my fucking heart. Where else but in the supple body of a Leprechaun can a man find a hole that's tighter than his own clenched fist?

http://www.fleshlight.com/byo.php?n...ti&legacy=54497


HAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA OMG WATCH THE VIDEO

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HAHA Surely it can't be that bad... or is it? Strange how the Celtic have always been very superstitious people. I do know that the Welsh and Manx have always been like that (and the Irish, obviously) But I'm not sure if the Scots are like that.

Haha Paddy's ancestors are to blame, I'm sure.

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I think pretty much every civilisation is saturated with extreme levels of superstition, and it's not just the old/ancient ones either. People still go to church, and still pray, and still hang crucifixes around their necks, and still walk around a mosque seven times counter-clockwise. The superstition may be a little more "sophisticated" than the dream catchers and fake medicines, but it's still same insufferable mentality haha.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/B.F._S...n_in_the_pigeon

That experiment sums up all of this shit for me.

Haha, strange... in some ways animals may be smarter than us, yet can possess the same absurd ignorance.

I'm not sure what you're referring to specifically... Hypnosis? Spiritual/Faith healing? Herbal medicines? etc.

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lol!!!

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Homoeopathy, alternative medicines, and indeed the things you listed. What people don't seem to realise is that if an "alternative medicine" is found to actually work, it's no longer "alternative medicine" - it's simply MEDICINE! haha If it's forever lingering under the heading "alternative" then it clearly has no value beyond some sort of placebo effect.

Homoeopathy is the most retarded of them all, hands down. The basic premise is this: if you are sick, you take whatever is making you sick (say, cyanide) and dilute in water so much so that in order for you to actually receive one molecule of cyanide from this water you'd have to drink enough of it to fill our SOLAR SYSTEM (that's obviously the highest level of dilution, it's typically more in the region of several Olympic sized swimming pools). Somehow drinking a little vial of this diluted shit (i.e. pure water) is going to counteract the cyanide's effects on you, and the more diluted the substance the more potent the medicine. I shit you not.

Of course they do this with all forms of disease and ailments - add a little bit of whatever's making you sick to water, dilute it severely, then sell it to you for £55 a bottle. There's much more to it than this, and it gets much worse than what I've written here. Check out James Randi's explanation of it during one of his lectures:

http://video.google.com/videoplay?d...985155605802136

I saw a documentary (The Enemies of Reason, it's on Google Video if you're interested) in which a homoeopathic "doctor" or whatever the fuck they are prescribes a vial of water to a patient which has salt diluted in it (the patient was having trouble with her salt levels!). Richard Dawkins, the interviewer, said something to the effect of "but surely she's getting much more salt than is in that vial from other sources anyway?". The doctor responds with "hey, I don't pretend to know how it works, it just does!".

How can you argue with that kind of thick-headed fucking stupidity? AHHHHHH!

Well, here's another piece of serious news on the subject of sex. I've been finding a lot of news about sex of late. Sex and general human dumb-assedry equals much amusing reading.

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/a...r-old-Otto.html

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Heck, Paddy, they've been saying to do that for allergens for years. Some bee keepers get immune to stings after being stung so much, but there's extremes and nutcases all over. However my husband used to be severely allergic to coffee and it's not so much anymore. "There's nothing new under the sun."

Amadeus, I thought she was going to be limey. I think they sit around trying to figure out dumb things like that. If the kid's already had a little action maybe she should just stay out of it. HEY LADY! Your reasoning is DUMB and SELFISH as well as for all the wrong reasons. And that's cuz I said so. Maybe he's really gay.

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that tard still got further than I ever did



but seriously, why would his mother want him to have kids? so there will be more downers making more downers?

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You're still a virgin?

lol!!! Can't get news like that in the paper, I know that much. He's actually not that bad looking for a mongoloid. He needs to learn how to use alcohol properly. THAT'S his problem, not his genetic defect.

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somehow

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I'm sorry.

Haha, man he'd be in bed like "Smell ma fenger, Smell ma fenger DEDEDE!!!!"

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Are you so stupid or do you only behave like this?

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Did you find that in bad taste?

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Hell yeah I found that in bad taste. I knew that smell had to come from something nasty.

lol
It is bad taste but whatever, fuck

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Haha, i'm sure he was just fucking around.

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I fucking have problems with jokes about disabled people...

I know...I don`t have a sense of humor blablabla but THAT kind of jokes aren`t funny.
It´s just absoluetly tasteless to make jokes about people who having an absoluetly hard life (midgets aren`t included) and, I mean, they havn`t choose to be what they are.

And the mother of the boy is a fuckin` jerkbagdonkey. I know a lot of disabled people and they all got a (nearly) normal life...with marriage and all that stuff. And in between the guy looks much better than the mongoloids I know.

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Someone in your family must have down syndrome?

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Not down syndrom but he`s blind and a bit mind-hitted.
And through him I saw how much disabled people suffer so...yeah

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I don't have any qualms about the handicapped being the butt of jokes, but it's the venom that a lot of these jokes are saturated with that bothers me. It's the same with racist gags, too. I love the old "three Paddys" jokes, but it depends on the context and the intent. I'm not saying anyone here is exuding outright hatred or bigotry, though

Everyone is way to uptight. People find some jokes offensive because they don't like the truth. I've had a lot of nasty jokes come at me for being part Polish and some other shit but ultimatly I don't really give a fuck, if you look at it a different way it can be funny. Everyone ends up dead regardless of what fatal disease or disability they have, and life is gonna be some level of hard work and pain for everyone, unless you are born into Bill Gate's family or something. So just take it easy.

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I'm part Polish too Drawn.. actually half. Polish Pride!

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haha same here, half

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I agree, but my point was specifically that I don't have a problem with these kinds of jokes except when they seem to be fuelled by blatant hatred/bigotry, because these otherwise harmless jokes then become delivery vehicles for some wanker's bilious ignorance. Again, I'm not accusing anyone here of that

it's ridiculous to take offense to anything posted on an internet forum.

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I've always wondered about that philosophy. What is it that makes words printed on a forum less "powerful" than words printed anywhere else? Or words spoken directly to you in person? It's strange to me that that's the case haha. It's like an otherwise perfectly real opinion suddenly devolves into insignificance as soon as it is presented electronically.

Body language is something like, 80% of comunication. On the internet you can't see that of course, and its hard to know if someone's just fucking with you or what. Plus the internet is full of idiots.

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That's kinda what confuses me - the internet is undoubtedly full of idiots, as you say, but these people don't exist solely on the internet; they are the same people we meet every day "offline". Why does the fact of their ideas/opinions being on the net make them any more/less valid than if they had said them in a face-to-face conversation?

I think when people say that you shouldn't care too much about what people post on the net it's not just because it's not always possible to get their full meaning, but it is instead because conversations online are by definition less worthy of consideration. That's the part I can't quite understand.

On the topic of body language, I can see your point and I agree that this is a problem a lot of the time, but it's not entirely true, otherwise radio, the telephone and the printed word in general wouldn't have caught on haha, not to mention the fact that blind people are perfectly capable of communicating.

Besides, this is why god invented EMOTICONS!!!!!!!1



Emoticons are weird, though. I find myself using them in the same way I'd use genuine facial expressions. For instance, if someone says something I don't really like and I want them to know I don't like it without actually saying so, I'll use the basic , like I'd give a sort of half-hearted smile in a face-to-face situation. Emoticon usage can be a very subtle, multi-layered, multifaceted experience! hehehe

plus its not like most of us actually know each other on a personal level, so if someone here said something 'offensive', then what would it really matter?

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No, which is why I was careful to point out that I wasn't talking about any of the members here In my experience, the genuine hate mongers don't usually last long on this forum haha.

Agreed, Paddy. A joke is just fucking around, which is fine if you don't actually intend to insult someones disability, culture, race etc. But there is no need to hate somebody because of a physical/mental problem, or because they or their forefathers came from a certain part of the world or whatever. This is the 21'st century.

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Well, its the internet. Its going to be less valid than in real life. its the whole reason of being behind a computer, making a silly claim and then getting challenged about it is easier to cope with here. In real life if you try to pull some shit everyone will hate you. We still have some level of anonymity, and people understand that.

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paddy i just noticed ur signature quote.... lmfao, did he really say that? thats fuckin hilarious

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yeah, they even quote it in the movie The Departed

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Chia Obama



Like this should fucking matter, at all.

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He did indeed Apparently there are certain "races", if you can term it that way, which present a specific sort of problem to psychoanalysts. The Irish are one such race, and I've read accounts from other analysts which sort of explain the problem. I can't remember the name of this particular doc, but he was in the bathtub in a hotel room, and there was a knock at the door. It was an Irish maid, who said she had a telegram for the doc. The doc, not wanting to get out of his lovely warm bath, said "just slide it under the door". The maid said "I can't...", and when the doc asked why, she said "it's on a tray".

She's wasn't necessarily "stupid", just operating on a slightly different/skewed plane of consciousness haha. Ahhh who am I kidding? She was dumber than a box of old grocery receipts.

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"The relative said the judge, Sheikh Habib Al-Habib, 'stuck by his earlier verdict and insisted that the girl could petition the court for a divorce once she reached puberty.'" I think he's missed the point. Surely it's the years of her life prior to puberty that under discussion here.

And how retarded is it that a minor can legally marry but can't legally divorce because she's too fucking young? Jesus H. Kristofferson.

Still, 8-year-old pussy. Fuck. You couldn't drag a needle out of her twat with a tractor.












LAWL! Just kidding fo' sure!!!1 xD

...says Paddy, as he packs boxes of his stuff and orders plane tickets in a mad rush to move to India

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No need, a midget in the right dress and with the right pigtails the illusion is set.

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http://www.theindychannel.com/educa...00/detail.html#

wtf is wrong with schools these days?

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The only way hair could ever be distracting is if it had been fashioned into some sort of massive cock shape, with Princess Leia-style balls on either side, and maybe a thin blue highlight running up the shaft with a big dollop of purple dye on the top. I would concede that this spectacle would distract me in class. But fuck me, red highlights?? Fucking political correctness on steroids, or some such bollocks. "Everyone must be grey and expressionless".

haha, yes the cock shape I could understand.

Subtle red highlights..those school officials are fucking tools!

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It was "distracting to the other students"? Jesus fucking sub-christ on a stick, last friday I had this really sexy girl right next to me all through a multivariable calculus lecture, should she be suspended for "distracting other students" they think? Ah, wonderful humanity.

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I think in reality she was probably distracting her paedo teacher.

That's what you think! Who do you think the mods are? No0b.

Heck, when I was in school they had a sit-in just to wear blue jeans to school. The only one I can think of that was remotely distracting was a girl we aclled martian lady because she looked like a David Bowie mannequin wearing platform shoes with goldfish in them. We noticed her about the same time they said little green men landed in Arizona so that was probably about 1975 or so.

What they should say in the dress code since they have one is that any unnatural colors of hair are not tolerated. I think the red thing could go different ways. It could have been fire engine red which would be a distraction, but auburn or strawberry blonde would be okay.

Part of the reason a lot of the schools are going towards uniforms is so there aren't distractions or competitions. You're supposed to be going to school to learn anyways not flaunt your stuff. I won't mention the variety I used to wear.

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Of course, I doubt anyone else had any issue with it. But that's just how it goes.

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Its Kansas for crying out loud its to be expected. Back water revival christian types....

O yea and that girl looks pretty good....complete jail bait.

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Who the fuck needs this??

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Says the guy with the little couch spy in his avatar.

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Naa the little guy is cool

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Yeah, he is. I can't quite figure out if he's drunk or Marty Feldman though. It's the eyes.

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In my case he`s definately drunk

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Paddy.

Need I explain why?

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Look, all of this has already been discussed at the trial, so just fucking drop it.

Midget pedophilia porn?

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Someone's a little sensitive, aren't they? What happened? Those pipe dreams you had last night mess with your head? Or was it the gerbils in the jar-oh.

I couldn't help that. oh gawd, another song brewing.

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Look, at what point is a man's debts paid? I did my community service, what more do I have to do before the world will accept that I'm a changed man who definitely won't ever ever again ever take pictures of himself naked in the midget maternity ward?

I'm just a man! If you cut me do I not bleed? If you show me images of elderly men in mankinis do I not ejaculate?

Can't we all just get naked?

You still owe me three fitty so I don't think your debt is paid yet. If you don't want to pay me then send back my pelican. And you pay the shipping charges this time!

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Pelican?? Is that the new street term for the service you provide? Whatever the case may be, three fitty is a bargain! Unfortunately part of my fetish is to never pay, which infuriates the "pelican provider" thus offering a further opportunity to have a wank at their expense.

Keep demanding that money!

*bangs head onto keyboard* I guess I write the pelican project off to charity. See if I ever give you the bird again.

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REALLIVESUPERHEROOMG!!: http://www.cnn.com/video/#/video/li....superhero.wlwt

...WOW

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that just makes me want to commit crimes in Cincinnati

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@ truth

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