C'mon man, this shit probably won't happen in your lifetime if it happens at all. And besides, every empire in history has been defeated, this one will be no different. It's just a naturally occurring phenomenon in human societies, and it fizzles out because it's unsustainable. The bigger they are the harder they fall, so have a beer and a wank and enjoy yourself

I was under the impression that something big would happen within the next few years, or even within the year. I will admit that I do have some paranoia problems though. I've always been nervous about everything, even when I was a little kid I was always nervous. It only gets really bad when I'm alone. My mind spins out of control and I get like Tweek on South Park.

Strange how ones mind can be his/her own worst enemy.

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Do you suffer from some sort of anxiety disorder? Maybe you should get checked out. No shame in it, I'm on medication for that as well as depression and I'm still awesome!

I used to have major anxiety/depression problems. But the depression is completely gone, and the anxiety is very tame now. I never used to have paranoia problems, but I sure do now. Maybe I just spend too much time alone.

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That certainly doesn't help, with any of the aforementioned problems haha.

Haha yeah. Well I'm not alone as much as I used to be. I see my girlfriend on a regular day to day basis, and when I'm with her I'm unusually calm. I still like isolation though, especially at night, I just have to be sure not to read or watch certain things (conspiracy etc) when I'm alone, because I'll turn into a nutter if I do. But if I just play my instruments or do something that doesn't involve paranoia, I'm fine.

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More music, more girlfriend/friends, less conspiracies.

KNEEL BEFORE DR. PADATRON!

No fucking way. The last time I trusted an unlicensed doctor, I got a needle and woke up about three hours later in the woods with no clothing and a used condom stuck in my asshole

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You're so inconsiderate! That poor guy had to make his way home through the dark woods by himself! I hope he's alright.

It sounds like your anxiety isn't under control if you're considering taking your own life over the very improbable, silly circumstances of a "NWO" taking over, or if your mind and mood are completely dictated by certain stimuli. Like Paddy said (again!), go get yourself a good psych to talk to. Been there myself (LIKE PADDY AGAIN OMFG), I know how it goes.

And whatever the fuck you do, do not read Behold A Pale Horse! Actually, maybe you should so you'll realize how ridiculous the whole scenario is.

For me, I totally fantasize about some NWO or nuclear fallout and I get to roam the world Mad Max-style, fighting alongside the current resistance, and raid Guitar Centers, pharmacies, military bases, etc. That or a zombie apocalypse would be at the top of my wish list. Fuck, too much Half-life for me.

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Haha fuck yes! I played Half-Life 2 for months on end, hacking and tweaking and modding it after I had exhausted the single-player campaign. One of the best games I've played, and I loved the "1984" proletariat feel of the opening levels. I even think one of the NPCs was named Winston!

I'm hoping that if a NWO is in the works, it'll be the one envisioned by Aldous Huxley and not George Orwell. Soma sounds like a pretty enticing prospect to me sometimes haha. I'd rather have my freedom taken gently, with rewards for the trade-off, than to have some Darth Vader-lookin' motherfucker bludgeoning me half to death for having an opinion contrary to that of "The Party"

Just to clear things up. I wasn't talking about killing myself soon just because I think that it might happen. What I was trying to say is that if it got really bad within the next year or few years, I certainly wouldn't stick around just to have my whole life taken away from me. I probably should have used a better choice of words for what I stated earlier. I'm not mad or anything, and certainly not suicidal... I have a lot to live for right now.

But how does anybody know for sure that the whole idea is improbable or ridiculous. Look at how things have been going for the past few years, right up until now with the whole convenient economic implosion. It's quite obvious that the elite forces of the world want a one world government and a one world economy. Judging by what I can see, things are looking pretty grim, because they probably wouldn't just stop there.

I should clear this up too, I'm not one of those people that buys into the really absurd conspiracies like the royal family and all powerful politicians/world leaders being reptilians from another planet that eat babies and drink kitten blood or any of that horse shit. I try to avoid the really crackpot theories, because the people that come up with those are the ones that probably do have serious psychological problems.

My anxiety is pretty good, and I'm certainly not depressed, I'm a very calm person these days, and for the most part, usually quite cheery. I used to be like Tweek when I was in my teens. But once I met my girlfriend I started chilling out. Christ, if I didn't have her for the past 2 and 1/2 years I probably would have gone mad by now. I can't even remember the last time I had a serious anxiety attack. Sometimes I do get a little worked up, but I can calm myself down easily. I really doubt I need a shrink though, I think I just have a little bit more work to do on relaxation.

But still, thanks guys. It's good to know that there are people that can talk some reason and sense into me even when I'm alone

I don't think I'm the inconsiderate one, he didn't even call me the next day

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As long as you can maintain that control in a world without your girlfriend, then good for you.

To me, the NWO terror is a crackpot idea. Either way, there's no use worrying about it as worrying won't change the outcome. I want it to happen though. Or really, I want the aftermath to happen. I want human civilization to be forced back to its primordial roots, realize our impermanence and insignificance, yet also realize through the extreme survivalist scenario how strong we can really be.

I WANT A HALF-LIFE REALITY. I'd also much rather Huxley's situation instead of Orwell's hell ("a terror era comin' through"). I'd also much rather have Huxley's writing style.

Paddy, have you played the expansions? Lets move this to the gaming thread. Bump in 3, 2...

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Asteroids!

Unfortunately, it missed.

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38.000 miles sounds not that near....But I don`t know.

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I walk that far to get to class, dude.

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Yeah, my last 2 restraining orders stipulated that I stay at least that far away from the local primary school.

Besides, everybody knows that if any significant asteroid threat was headed this way Burt Reynolds would just obliterate it with his infernal ejaculate.

Agreed. PAM

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http://thechronicleherald.ca/World/9010979.html

"Gagne, 82 and suffering from Alzheimer’s dis*ease, apparently body-slammed a 97-year-old fellow patient at the nursing home where they both lived, causing the man’s death."

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Can it really be considered homicide if the guy has dementia? Besides, he's already in captivity (in a manner of speaking), what else can they do? San Quentin?

I can't help imagining what it must have sounded like when that poor fucker hit the ground. "Sack full of loose xylophone bars" springs to mind.

Smuggler with broken leg wears cocaine cast

I suppose I should give them credit for creativity.

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It seems like an incredible amount of effort for very little cocaine. It's the same with those guys who made their suitcase out of hash (the hard brown resin stuff, that is). So much work for a few hundred quid's worth. I couldn't be arsed, and certainly wouldn't suffer a broken bone for whatever these trips are worth. They're clearly not the brightest guys in the world either, because if you want to appear to have a fractured bone in an x-ray you just have to place a little bit of wire along the area in question - even more effective here because they couldn't very well remove the cast, so there'd be no need to disguise the wire with fake skin or the like.

They're fucking committed, I'll give them that! But while very creative, they aren't terribly practical haha.

Fuck you beat me too it!!! http://news.aol.com/article/broken-...ine-cast/372911

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LOL it actually was fractured dude...they did it before hand lol...

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I know...that's why I said it wasn't necessary for them to do that, because they could have easily faked it, and that it wasn't worth the pain/effort for such a small amount of coke.

Ahh I see paddy every time i see you on Metal Tabs i think of this clip. DAMMIT i cant find the clip but have you ever seen the Family Guy episode where it shows Ireland before alcohol fucking hilarious.

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LOL! Yes, I remember that one, and my heart swells with pride every time I see it

Actually, I found the clip, but it's terrible quality:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oQYY180CVKY

Haha classic

This one isn't particularly "strange", but it's pretty strange for me given the fact that it happened about 15 minutes from my house:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/2009_M...rracks_shooting

One of the pizza guys who got shot along with the soldiers was at my house pretty much every week delivering yummy goodies for the family, it's very surreal to imagine the guy being brutalised like that. I just got back from the hospital today to get assessed for an op, and as I was leaving the news crew had shown up to get pictures of one of the guys getting out. I think the other one (the one I'm familiar with) is still in critical condition, though...

What's even more strange about this is that the estate I live in is 95% Catholic/republican/nationalist, and it's the only one of its kind in this town. If retaliations are to be carried out, it'll probably happen here or to someone from here. Fuck haha. Looking over both shoulders for another few months, it seems!

Wow gonna be a fun trip for me....So are people cool there though? Like get along with me as an American and not try to kill my ass, like they do each other. I mean I'm not asking not bullshit qestion like "Owe I'm an American the world hates me bullshit" but more along the lines can i chill out with everyone and have a good time without anyone fucking with me because of who i am? Or its it the universal statement "Cool people are cool anywhere"?

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You'll be alright mate, no one will bother you for either being American or because of your religion (although it's probably best not to broadcast it - your religion, that is). Avoid talking [Irish] politics unless you're in company that you know is cool with it. Other than that, you'll have a great time I'm sure!

Plus you're going to the south anyway, if I remember correctly. There's none of this shit happening down there If you are going down south you can discuss anything you like and you'll be fine, it's us northerners who need a fucking chill pill! haha

Just keep in mind that even when "The Troubles" was at its worst Ireland still had the lowest crime rate in the UK, obviously discounting war-related deaths/activities. So it's not as bad here as the media makes out

Hell I'll be up north on the weekend i definitely plan on chilling all around..so I'm positive if you survive this current crisis we'll have a beer together at a pub in your part of town...we'll get fucked up shoot the breeze..how the women man? I wanna make some attempts to get laid by some Irish booty!

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Irish women are smokin'.

http://alpha2.bmc.uu.se/gerard/dombo/pics/ugly_001.jpg

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Well, I don't drink and have an anxiety disorder which makes it tricky for me to go to pubs, so I'm not sure how much fun we'd have hahaha

If you are capable of maintaining an erection whilst amidst the stench of fried food, hairspray and vodka-spiked vomit, you'll have your pick of the lassies! Just remember, an orgasm lasts for several seconds, but syphilis lasts a lifetime - bring lots of thick rubber jumpsuits, delousing powder and a pointed crucifix.

She has inner beauty, you cunt You're just jealous that she won Hottest Mick Bitch for 3 years running. That said, runner-up prize was once nearly awarded to a pile of old shitty potato sacks until they tried to perform a drugs test on it and realised it wasn't actually a hot piece o' freckled ass. The judge was the most angry; he only voted for it because it was sleeping with him.

Then I woke up and realised it was all just a wet dream

just in case anyone cares the guy that cut off that other guys head on the greyhound bus.... not guilty.... insane. vincent li

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Holy fuck, I hadn't heard about this story. What a miserably tragic series of events.

Thank fucking christ!

CNN News

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Wow, about time. However, I think people will remain stupid.

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yea its big news around here it happend less than an hours drive from where i live. guy was eating him apparently. really fucked up shit. kinda surprised you havnt heard anything about it

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Eating him?? Fuck

The sad thing is I get most of my news updates from this thread, so unless it's posted here I probably won't know about it haha

Haha, I'd like to hear a new prime minister here say something about "people with no faith" in the inaguration speech. People would give him funny looks and say things like "religious faith, oh come on, get a grip man".

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Yeah I remember waking up that morning and hearing about it on the radio while I had my cigarette and tea. The first thing I thought was damn, the Greyhound cafeteria food must be shitty if he had to eat the guy

He was also cutting various pieces off the body and stuffing them into his pockets.

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yea they found a plastic bag in his pocket with the guys ears nose and mouth/lips in it or some shit like that anyways.

another little piece of info for you cunts... that guy that threw his shoes at bush got sentanced not that long ago to three years. im not looking it up on the net to post a link here tho so look it up yourself if ur interested.

p.s. you gota love anyone that throws thier shoes at bush lmfao

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Hahaha I heard about this, 3 years for throwing shoes with intent to scuff. The fucking things missed him anyway, I wonder what he would have gotten had he actually connected. Public execution, probably; death by a firing squad of cobblers armed with Cuban heels. Yes, I'm positive that that's definitely what would have happened.

He would have been much safer if he simply shouted "Shoo Fly!".

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Haha is Shoo Fly the epithet the media gave to this heinous criminal? "The Shoo Fly strikes again; hundreds left mildly injured and unfashionable".

Here's an interesting story:

http://rawstory.com/news/2008/Hersh...utive_0311.html
http://rawstory.com/news/2008/John_...tered_0313.html

Don't mess with The Cheney, muthafuckas!

A new video clip has been released showing the torture of Tibetan monks at the hands of the Chinese. Here's the London Telegraph article which includes excerpts from the clip:

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/wor...y-in-Tibet.html

Not surprising, but significant in that video footage from this region and of this behaviour is quite rare, and that this should remove any lingering doubts people are having about the Chinese's brutality in Tibet.

@Paddy, its not that anyone had doubts, i just see here lately instead of people taking action they just fully ignore the bullshit for fear of pissing another nation off.

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Absolutely terrible. We can only pray that Tibet can gain its independence back from China. While its horrible that anyone has to endure such treatment, to me it is especially sad to see a Tibetan Buddhist monk, who speak and practice nothing but utter compassion, being beaten.

Part of me feels that something should be done, but then another part of me realizes that if the US were to get heavily involved, we'd just play World Police again and probably end up making situations even more stickier. This is where the UN comes in.. but what the fuck can they do? Send in a few thousands Smurfs? I think it'd be a good idea to demand media access to the area to help, at least partially, to hold off any violence it can. Raise more awareness and support.

DECLARE INDEPENDENCE! DON'T LET THEM DO THAT TO YOUUU!

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You spoke right from my soul dude, seriously.

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Well, technically, both me and Bjork spoke from your soul as the last line in caps is a a lyric of hers.

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Haha "Bjork" reminds me of the sound you get when you drop a golf ball into a toilet.

I can't believe this shit still goes on. Bludgeoning helpless civilians is so 1960s!

Hahaha. Its correct pronunciation rhymes with "jerk".

If I remember correctly she played in China awhile ago and repeatedly whispered "Tibet" before playing the song "Declare Independence" I quoted above.

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The UN isn't really a world police and was never meant to be. And it wasn't "minor" problems such as this that was at the forefront of the founders's thoughts, I dare say, but world war with a side ordering of nuclear weapons. It's a discussion forum, simply a way of trying to give diplomacy an extra round in the game before someone starts something large scale that we all come to regret. Since those early years it has what I can only describe as swollen, but fact remains. By its own rules, the UN does not have a mandate to do anything anywhere without a formal request from the national government in question. After all, how many members would the UN have if it were otherwise?
No, the only ones really in a position to play world police are the US, China, and perhaps in the long run, Russia. And if I had to choose...

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If you're interested in space: Kepler

It's fun to follow the mission updates on this thing. It's currently over 1.5 Million km from Earth (930,000 miles)!

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http://www.ananova.com/news/story/sm_3250393.html?menu=

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Jesus fucking CHRIST I wish I was dead.

Haha. Absurd, isn't it?

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Why?

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I fully believe in the accuracy and truth in the brown bedpan

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I'm sure its indication of "shit hitting the fan" will cause negative psychological effects on its wearers.

"Oh hey! It looks like shit's about to hit the fan, I might as well come clean about my child porn collections!"

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yeah if you believe something bad is going to happen, it probably will. Self-fulfilling prophecy.

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HAHA!

Is that why neurotic hypochondriacs usually end up getting a terminal illness? My parents always told me that when I was growing up, but I don't really know if it's just a myth or not.

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the mind is a powerful tool. If you believe enough that you are going to get sick, you might just make it happen

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I've been working on a new variation of the watch for the past 6 months; it's a fortune-telling cock-ring. It starts beeping when it senses the cops are on their way, and gives you ample time to dismantle your lair of tiny little manacles and chloroform the midgets.

I've also developed a new "enhanced interrogation" technique for when a midget isn't being forthcoming with the information and won't sing "I'm off to see the wizard!" on queue: waterplanking. Tie the fucker down to a plank of wood, stuff a child's sock into their mouth, and drip water on their faces with a pipette. If you dress up as Snow White and suck their cocks they're so confused and disturbed that their wills break and they can then be utilised in any manner you so desire. I like to re-enact scenes from my favourite films, but with midgets. For instance, I recently did the "you think I'm funny?" scene from Goodfellas. I played Joe Pesci's part, because having a midget play a midget renders the entire escapade a waste of everyone's time. Before that we did Schindler's List, and instead of the "Little Girl in the Red Dress" it was just a midget in his regular clothes. We then played out the later scene in which the little girl's corpse is seen among a pile of other corpses. We didn't use the midget for that, because I already had a dead child in my attic and that worked nicely. When I retire I'm going to do the final scene from The Godfather, and Moe Green each and every one of those little fuckers.

So you see, a fortune-telling sexual aid is of utmost importance for us connoisseurs of small.

But wait...if a midget gets his gorgeous little hands on this watch or my patent-pending cock-ring, could he then avoid becoming part of my midget ensemble given that the watch/cock-ring would warn him that tiny wee chocolate turds are about to hit his tiny wee fan? I have to have a think and a wank about this...

Paddy, i'm not even sure what to say to that... except, where can i get one??

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I can hook ya up, chief! Just come to my house, stick your erect cock through my letterbox, and I'll furnish your veiny love-truncheon with a prototype of the fortune-telling cock-ring. You may notice, however, that there's a warm, moist, tonguey kinda feel to the whole process, but don't worry, it's definitely not anything sexual depraved or in violation of the Geneva Convention.

ROFL to Paddy's last 2 posts

Yeah my best friend has always been the neurotic hypochondriac type. I can remember even when he was like 6 or 7 he would constantly worry and have panic attacks over the thought of getting a fatal disease. A few years ago he got cancer. So since then I've been wondering if he somehow subconsciously willed himself to get sick by thinking about it so fucking much.

His cancer was cured by radiation. He's doing much better these days... and he's a very positive, cheery person now. Completely the opposite of what he used to be like.

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Wow.

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Fuck!

LOL Paddy...

All i'm ever hoping for is a Condom that changes colors if your partner has an STD. One that, for example, turns brown if they have the syph. It'll be an easy signal to GTFO. It may sound dumb, but protection is protection! There's some fucked up ratio in the US about people contracting an STD in their lifetime... I want to say it's something like 50% of Americans will come in contact with an STD by age 25.

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Haha

A pH for sex.

Mr. Execrator, welcome to the executive lounge. You and I, with our forward-thinking midget/STD solutions, can own this fucking market within 5 years.

My fishnet-based Midget Catcher™ and Midgetry For Dummies series are a good start, but with The Ring of Fortune™ and your anti-STD johnnies, we have a strong base on which to grow and expand until we own every dirty STD-ridden midget this side of Mordor.

My capital amounts to the following items:

* £44 cash, in small coins
* 4,000+ midget pornos
* A court order restricting my midget-based activities
* 12 midgets, two deceased and mounted, one pending bids on MidgeBay
* 3 more midgets
* A jar of hand cream; contains one rogue pubic hair, brownish in colour, wiry in texture
* My physical earthly presence and its various drippings

If you can match or better my contributions I'll give you 51% of the company, as long as my company name ideas are considered fairly:

MidgeDirt & Sons
P&E MidgeCorp, Std.
StinkyFinger McGee's Diseased Midget Emporium

What say you, Execrator? Are you ready to be the next Microsoft, only with midgets and cock-rot? Microsoft did it with nerds and sociopaths, we can do it with little people ridden with leaky meat-plumbing!

Well, my capital would amount to:
-$44usd
-A 2-year old cell phone with no contract
-A cell phone contract with no phone
-Approximately 4 original ideas incubating in my mind
-5GB of midget porn on my hard drive

As for the company name, I am fond of MidgeDirt & Sons, but I think it should be MidgeDirt & Midgets. I also ask that the business be based in the UK as well as the US, because this sure as hell would create many jobs and stimulate both our economies. I would like to consider this a done deal!

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MidgeDirt & Midgets! Of course!! Wait...it's coming to me...yes, I just saw the logo:

http://i44.tinypic.com/2zrl5he.png

Or:

http://i44.tinypic.com/ilm8u8.png

Your capital is at least equal to mine, so congratulations, you are now the primary owner of MD&M. Our Ireland plant will be operational as soon as the RIRA call a ceasefire on all midget assassinations (they think midgets are British government agents, disguised as leprechauns, here to gather intelligence and distract us with their little stinky fingers).

We will single-handedly (well, double-handedly) save our respective economies and be hailed as the saviours of our very way of life. Good sir, we are quite possibly better than Jesus and his dad who's basically just the KFC dude with magic powers. Just drink that in a little, sip its satisfyingly tasty nectar and rub its essential oils into your ballbag whilst rubbing one off into a midget's face. They'll be making movies about us, Execrator, and when they do you'll be played by Robert Deniro and I'll be played by a stack of buttered toast slices.

Please excuse me for I currently have a terminal erection, and the only cure is midget-cunny.

lmao. The second logo will work wonders, as that is one hell of a midget in the circle. I look forward to conducting business with a midget lover and enthusiast such as yourself. Your last line is sig worthy

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Haha shit, my second-ever sig quote! This is a good day for my starving ego

I, too, am looking forward to our business venture, partly because I know you most likely have clean genitalia.

Weeeeeeeeee!

E = MC Vagina

and for ya other guys

E² = MC Midgeee Vagina

Diva Gina!

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I'd think its because those that are so excessively worried about some kind of illness develop so much stress and anxiety that their immune system beings to really suffer (for instance, we tend to catch colds easier when we're under stress) and become very susceptible to that which they fear because their bodies just can't fight off what it normally could.

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I agree, and I can prove the theory's validity. When I was 12 I was convinced that a spider had laid its eggs in my ass, and for months I would attribute every pain or sickness I had to spiders burrowing into my guts. It turned out I just had the flu, but it was made infinitely worse by an expectation that the spiders would eat my pooh-glands thus rendering me sickly. In the end I had to send a bird up my rusty sheriff's badge and when it came back out empty handed and musky I realised I had been a fool.

The placebo effect is proof of the mind's power to heal (or to do harm, whatever the case may be). If you give a sugar pill to someone and tell them it's actually an anti-biotic, they'll probably die of septicaemia, but if you do the same to another person their belief that it's a genuine medication will make them feel cheerful and optimistic, and all of those lovely hormones and chemicals will energise them and - depending on the severity of the condition - they may be cured.

My doctor tried this with me, but with anti-depressants. It sort of backfired, because all of that extra sugar intake made me crash pretty hard and I had to be talked down from the top of a giant transsexual I was gonna jump off of. Makes you think...

...of MIDGETS ON BANANA-BOATS!

UK scientists have grown a living brain, apparently:

http://uk.news.yahoo.com/5/20090326...br-45dbed5.html

If they are spending their time making brains why can't they make me a robotic cock with optional laser attachments?

'Cause they're cunts, that's why. Look at this:

"Those scientists are cunts" -- Superman

Can't argue with that, motherfuckers!

There needs to be a Paddy appreciation thread.

I wonder if it has conciousness (to lazy to fix spelling)

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haha too lazy to fix the spelling but not too lazy to add an extra 5 words explaining why your spelling is wrong

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Haha

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http://www.cnn.com/2009/WORLD/meast...essels.collide/

Somewhat old news, one of our submarines collided with one of our surface ships near Iran.

Haha how in the name of fuck did these two vehicles not see each other? It's the marine equivalent of two fat guys colliding in an empty car park.

I fucking LOVE these statistics:

http://www.javno.com/en-world/peta-...its-care_246815

That anti-pig-munching pic at the top of the article is pretty effective; those cunts have put me right off my sausages.

http://www.thesmokinggun.com/archiv...27092sham1.html

Lol fuck shamwow, he got shapowed...

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"Both parties had a strong odor of an alcoholic beverage emitting from their persons" hahaha I love when dumbass cops try their hardest to sound like they've been eating text books all night. "The killing occurred and took place within the vicinity of the crime scene and involved both the killer and the victim, one killing the other in an illegal fashion by utilising an automatic bullet-shooting weapon of a gunny nature. Said bullets struck said victim in the backish region and he henceforth then he died hence...vicinity and henceness...arrested...uhh...I once handcuffed an elderly woman, tasered her and then shat in her mouth."

If the ShamWow Guy's story is true, he must have inadvertently paid good money to a lowly "North American Snapper" hooker, a rare breed of extremity-chewing madams with an overly high tolerance for face-punches.

haha. What I can't believe is that the guy is 44! Although in his mug shot he looks like shit.

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here's the girl he beat

http://www.thesmokinggun.com/archiv...91newsham1.html

http://www.thesmokinggun.com/archiv...91newsham2.html

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I bet I know what he used to clean up any blood stains.

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Hahaha

Haha, another great post

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And here is to positive social change in Afghanistan!

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/wor...n-marriage.html


O WAIT...

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Haha. Very civilized people, aren't they?

But at least they aren't as ignorant as Africans.

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This is so sad. So very very sad. So very very very...
http://corner.nationalreview.com/po...NWNhYTZiMjAyNmY

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LOL!!! Fucking hell that's tragic...

...HAHAHA! Ahhhh fuck me.

The moral of the story: adopt.

Of course, I'm not all that convinced it's actually true, but something tasteless in me badly wants this piece of hilarious idiocy to do be true.

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Someone give me a plainticket to that village.

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