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2006-03-12, 02:17
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Lo, they do call to me...
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Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: virginia beach, VA
Posts: 2,209
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another untitled one
love
with your happy smiles
broken hearts, and twisted games
love
with your tortured souls,
i have longed for you
i have wept for you
i have died for you
and still, you keep me waiting.
love
the cruelty of an embrace,
the pain of a kiss,
the horrors of a touch,
when will you touch me?
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Too grim to function
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2006-03-12, 03:36
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Slayer of dumb cunts
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Join Date: Sep 2005
Location: Virginia Tech, Blacksburg, va
Posts: 3,622
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I liked the "flow" if you will of this one. The back and forth kinda thing. I like the last line as well. I'm a big fan of the "open ended" questions at the end of a peice.
The last 4 lines as a whole are good too. Since by my pessimistic nature statements as such are likeable.
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Quote:
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Originally Posted by Darko
...Its very annoying to keep having to hear some socially-disabled teen come on these boards talking about all the drugs he's started doing so that he can maybe grasp onto some kind of positive response so he feels better about himself and what he's doing.
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About requiem. Aint it the truth... |
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2006-03-12, 11:28
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dsnt trust ne1 < 30
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Join Date: Jan 2003
Location: Home is where the <3 is
Posts: 8,881
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I liked this, too. Painful and sweet. One can turn their own world upsidedown for someone else, but sometimes they don't even notice or don't want to.
Nice one, MoonRaven. Did you write music to it?
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My eldest son's bipolar website: www.bipolarmanifesto.com
-wally: Mom, you shouldn't play after me because it makes you sound even worse than you already do. -wally:*grumbles and whispers quietly* I guess it's cuz I love you or something, but you're still a TURD
Grimm:I could read your mind but its in font size .5
Amadeus:Oh, and was there a cesserole (never mind spelling) involved?
Paddy:the fact that you didn't end up on a kids show makes me question my atheism
Dyldo: You evil strumpet!
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