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Old 2006-03-02, 19:02
Berserkr's Avatar
Berserkr
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The Pagan men

Here is another song of me.

The Pagan men

A folk of an age in the past
We terrorized the sea
Conquered the north with a giant blast
The Christian – our enemy

After an age of 200 years
Our pagan bloodline stopped
With us died the fear
The Christian had won

Now it’s the time of war
We will rise again
Bring them down with our swords
We – the pagan men

Burn the churches
Kill the whores
And the men they call priests
Show no mercy
Ride them down
And get rid of the disease

We will hunt them
We will violate them
We the pagan men
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Berserkr, Vocals of the Viking Metal Band "Norse"
 
Old 2006-03-02, 23:07
tmfreak's Avatar
tmfreak
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Hey thats not too bad. I like the catchy flow to it. I'm not that big on.... i guess you could say the type of lyrics that you write.. Not that they aren't good, cause they are actually not too bad for your age. I'm just much more of a personal man than a history lyrical guy.
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Old 2006-03-02, 23:29
L,B'XXX's Avatar
L,B'XXX
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All the elements are fine for this piece, but I due just to personal preference and belief I'm not crazy about the lyrical content. You are pretty good for your age though.
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-wally: Mom, you shouldn't play after me because it makes you sound even worse than you already do. -wally:*grumbles and whispers quietly* I guess it's cuz I love you or something, but you're still a TURD
Grimm:I could read your mind but its in font size .5
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Old 2006-03-03, 11:03
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Berserkr
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Wow i get good critics!!! ^^

Thx. Ok it is my type of writing the whole viking theme... but i think there will be a time when I will write about personal things.
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Berserkr, Vocals of the Viking Metal Band "Norse"
 
Old 2006-03-03, 11:24
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L,B'XXX
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I just reread what I said and it took me a minute to figure it out. I must have been getting tired then.

But anyways, if you like the viking theme and want to get a little personal stuff in there, you might try getting into a viking woman or man's mind and writing from that perspective. It wouldn't have to be your own personality coming through, but your characters. It's fun seeing how they develop sometimes. I know I had fun being walpurgis, powers', and Tulvox before in some of mine.

It gives one a nice little mental vacation to choose a setting and different personality to be, too. Just some ideas for you.
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My eldest son's bipolar website: www.bipolarmanifesto.com

-wally: Mom, you shouldn't play after me because it makes you sound even worse than you already do. -wally:*grumbles and whispers quietly* I guess it's cuz I love you or something, but you're still a TURD
Grimm:I could read your mind but its in font size .5
Amadeus:Oh, and was there a cesserole (never mind spelling) involved?
Paddy:the fact that you didn't end up on a kids show makes me question my atheism
Dyldo: You evil strumpet!
 
Old 2006-03-03, 13:42
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Berserkr
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yeah thanks. this idea allready got in my mind so i will try it some day
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Berserkr, Vocals of the Viking Metal Band "Norse"
 
Old 2006-03-03, 23:34
Hippy :)
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personally i think it got kinda weird after the bloodline part. cause you said that ur bloodline died and then all the sudden ur fighting again? maybe im interpreting it wrong, but other then nice, and once again personal belief says FUCK YOU
 
Old 2006-03-04, 12:23
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Berserkr
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With this lyrics i mean, that our bloodline stopped (at the time when the christian had deafeted the vikings) and now in the 21st century a we (the men with pagan believes) strike back... hope i could explain...
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Berserkr, Vocals of the Viking Metal Band "Norse"
 
Old 2006-03-05, 11:23
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it sounds pretty good but i dont think it should be called the pagan man it really should be the viking man or something paganism isnt really what you want because paganism was the belief of many gods
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Old 2006-03-05, 11:57
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You're confusing pagan with polytheist, monkey.

Just a few notes: Around the year 1000 the strongest Viking warlord converted to Christianity and began systematically conquering the other Vikings. Conversion through conquest, yes, but internal, not Southern. The warlord in question had a kind of Road to Damascus conversion while raiding the British isles and set about trying to rule a unified, Christian Scandanavia. It didn't pan out for him, but did lead directly to the Viking conversion within a few generations without need of outside influence, which suggests that Viking paganism was a dead scene anyway. The idea of Viking revival, and even of the kind of hard-ass Viking that's portrayed here, is just a vapid Romanticization of a dead culture. If you want to be anti-Christian, feel free to be violently anti-Christian, but you have nothing to do with a Viking, even if you're directly descended from them. This Viking shit is more played out than pan-European Celtic appropriation.

As for the actual lyrics, they're mostly stilted. In some lines this can be worked out - for example, 'A folk of an age in the past' might read better as 'A folk of ages past' - but some of them are just poor and need to be changed completely. Rhyming isn't everything.

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