The Return


You've dumped everything and nothing on me
How am i supposed to analyze something so strong
Its almost unfair the things i've had to endure
The consistent removal of everything I should've had

Such strong ties were always meant to last
Stretched to inexistence, It never could surpass

The hundreds of nights of yearning have meant something
Never knowing what to make out of them I drifted
But every time the ashes begin to settle and decay
They'll be blown back into the air at my dismay

Too exasperated to continue
with these reminiscing moments
I've clawed at the realitys
that I still can't face to this day

I'm everything because of you
And I've already lost what could have been

I've searched and i've lost, although your back
I'll never be able to recover, those memories
Of me and you that never were

I don't' know you anymore



This was actually a really hard set of lyrics to write. Have any of you had a best friend that you had not spoken to in 9 years, attempted to find out where they lived and what happened to them, only to one day have them drop an email to you all those years later. It seems like a great and glorious thing, until you actually think about it. And its actually just tough.

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I've got some stuff to say, but it's late, my mind is fried. I'll tell ya tomorrow.

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haha. Sounds good. I'm about to put back a few myself. Don't have to take this online test for psychology.. so i'm definately gonna kick back a few.

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I've been in situations where an old friendship tried to be rekindled and it all fell to crap so I do know what you're talking about. I've also had a few that had positive outcomes, too.

The first thing that hit me in this piece was the confusion in the first line, but given the situation you explained I can see that now. There's a lot of bitterness in it and unresolved animosity towards the other person. Sometimes the only way to deal with that is to state your feelings and let it go. Maybe this piece was part of that therapy.

It's cool that it sounds like it's spoken to someone and I think because it doesn't come right out and say technicalities that it can be relavent to different situations people might have. I also think it could be song material, too. Something quite heavy sounding with a very firm, slow beat.

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Indeed thats what i was thinking. (about hte music aspect) Its not actually directed towards... animosity. (Although could be used in that aspect) I mean.. were talking about my best friend for god sakes. But i was trying to get at the fact, that what if i "try to rekindle" the relationship.. or whatever and i find out that it was almost better... left in the past. (as far as our friendhsip would go) Kind of the... i dont' want to know how you have turned out kind of thing. And i'm almost afraid of that being the case.

I mean we used to be.. like HELLA best buds. But i ended up moving to the other side of the states, and there he stayed. I tried getting a hold of him for years and it just always failed. Its just one of those situations that you've been waiting for this "moment" for so long, then finally when it comes, you have absolutly no idea what to think about it. Sure its great. But.. i'm analyzing the.. maybe its not the greatest thing that i've been thinking it was.

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Well, either bite the bullet and go for it or wait for a school reunion that the person might be at that's more indirect socially. You'd have other people to hang out with then. I can understand that though. There's been a few people that have contacted me from school. Some I've stayed in touch with and others just sort of drifted away. One is the same arrogant ass, if not moreso, he was in school, but his daughters are really fun to be around. You never know.

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Haha good stuff. Well actually funny you mention that. I talk to him liek that night on the phone. And the next day i bought 2 plane tickets to go across the country next month to see him. Me and my "east coast bud" are gonna go meet up with my "west coast bud" haha

There will be lots of viewing of my old neighborhood. What is nuts i thought about it today. i was there last year cause i just got out of bootcamp. i will be returning the exact day BEFORE i got out of bootcamp last year... Wow... A whole year has gone by and i'm returning back to the same place i was. If i had known where he was or had contact info for him i probably would have seen him then.

Although i'll probably refrain from talking about what has happened with him up till now, there is no problem sippin on some cold ones tlakin about what happened then. =)

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