The Master

Bring forth all that you are
Shrouded in mystery, breathing unrelenting
You take shape of every goal
Never know its you till the end

You live in every chasm and every crack
Waiting for fortunes, benign in nature
Beaten down the eager many who need you
We will never be safe from you

The experts say you're not there
Everyone says you do not exist
Are they mad? You're my brother
And I, I am your slave

But i will bleed for you no longer
I'll break my chains and soar to the heavens
Callused and broken but i won't walter
Too much is at stake to miss this call

You were too strong, Depdendence links still exist
You are the master and you hold the keys
This is where i continue where i left off
Nothings changed and nothing will, You own my life.

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Forgot to mention. Most of the things i write, i usually haven't written music for it.. (i have at least 7 songs written with no music whatsoever) But i tend to write.... as if it were to be placed in music. I think i generally write best when i'm not writing directly TO a piece of music.

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I write a lot that can be placed to music, but I'm lousy at coming up with melodies.
Overlooking the few spelling errors, I didn't think this was too bad. I liked the way you got your ideas across without being blatant. The first couple verses I felt were the strongest and had really solid pulse to them. The rest started to blossom the imagery and unfold the story. They didn't seem as tight as the beginning, but that was okay. I'm almost wondering if repeating the first verse at the end might give it better closure. It just seems to dangle with the thought at the end, but maybe that was your intention. Just thoughts.

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Oooh.. after you said that.. was like.. hmm.. hell yeah.. That would really be decient.
I like ending it with that last line of the first paragraph. Good idea. (Btw i typed that in from looking at my notebook, generally i dont' make spelling errors.)

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