http://thepiratebay.org/torrent/5574351/The_Human_Centipede(First_Sequence)%5B2009%5DSwesub.TS.DIVX-NeRoZ.av

Demonoid has it..

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That cunt is just ripping off Daisy Chain Nurses 1 - 14!

Is it supposed to be a black comedy? I was laughing pretty much all the way though the trailer! I'll definitely be watching it regardless

I don't know if this belongs in the Movies or the TV thread, but there's a series called Masters of Horror which consists of an hour-long movie written and directed by a different team each time. I immediately went straight to the movie directed by Takashi Miike, the guy who directed Audition. The film he made for the Master of Horror series is called "Imprint", and it was the most controversial of all 26 movies made for the series. If you found Audition difficult to watch you will fucking LOVE this movie. Spoilers:

This movie features the single most awesomest fingernail torture scene I've ever seen, and I've watched Fingernail Torture Nurses 1 - 14! The acting from the main players is fucking dreadful, but the woman who does the torturing is so perfect in her role that she was more disturbing to me than the needles, the burning incense sticks and the aborted foetuses. The look on her face is so awesome. It's like a deranged, yet calm/dozy grin. If I was going to be tortured to death I'd sure like her to be involved. I'd also like to have my feet sawn off by the chick from Audition. A man can dream...

Anyway, watch it, it's splendid. I haven't seen any of the other movies from the Masters of Horror series, and I'm not sure if I'll bother given that they're bound to be anti-climactic compared to Imprint.

Thanks for the link, Dame.

The acting looks shitty in it, but whatever. The only thing that'll probably bug me are the chick's fucking voices. I can't stand that faint lisp, passive phrasing, semi-valley girlesque and all-around fake sounding "accent". You hear it a lot in Southern California and its usually an immediate alert that they're a cunt who's larynx's rightful home is in my garbage disposal. Jesus, Dylan..

I've never heard of that Audition movie but it looks pretty intense. I'll have to check it out.

Paddy, come online.

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It is, make it next on your list.

I'm not allowed to do that anymore.

Human Centipede's been playing here for over a month. It has not attracted my interest at all, since that one sentence description (i.e. 'Mengele wannabe sews tourists together, ass-to-mouth') is apparently the entire plot. Word of mouth is that it's a huge waste of everybody's time, goes for cheap Nazi symbolism, and is a black mark on Germany's otherwise stellar national record.

Miike, on the other hand, is all sorts of awesome.

Mengele wannabe sews tourists together ass to mouth is enough to get my attention, I've definitely watched movies with far less promising taglines. What is Miike?

Miike is the director of the movie Auction that Pads mentioned earlier.

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Well, here's the thing: as far as I can tell, that's not the tag line, it's the entire movie.

But try this for a tag line: facially-scarred yakuza chases orgasmic boot-bladed killer to achieve the perfect masochistic death. Hilarity ensues. And that one's a fucking fantastic movie in addition to fulfilling all your fantasies of violence - and I do mean all. And Miike turns out movies like that three times a year.

Your last link there is dead, cutie pants.

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Damn. It worked when I posted it. Try this guy. This one's pretty indicative, too.

Yeah, that first one worked.... however that second one had some hilarious advertising about miracles and babies. I saved it to post it, but I can't seem to find it. Just imagine a mother enraptured with joy to hold her new born next to Ichi looking like a fucking freak. Data mining can present some hilarious results (but since when do I want a fucking kid?!).

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Audition

I recently watched Ichi the Killer again, having only watched it the first time for the gore. It's a very strange film, and it looks like it was filmed on DV cameras, but it's pretty much Miike all over. The man loves his body horror and he's fucking good at it. It's pretty funny, too.

I finally got around to watching Oldboy and.. holy shit was that fucking great. Like, best movie I've seen all year and maybe then some. Any other recommended Park Chan-wook?

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All his other films stink, even the Oldboy prequel.

Oldboy is a damn fine movie. Will Smith and Steven Spielberg were planning to remake the film in America, but they've apparently backed out. Good.

That said, there still seems to be talk of a remake happening all the same. It's gonna be just swell, boy howdy! Cunting cunts.

Haha Dylan, check out a Bollywood movie called "Zinda":

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Zinda_%28film%29

I can't understand how there's any debate about whether or not it's a rip-off.

Isn't rip-off an intrinsic part of Bollywood's being anyway?

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Yeah, I read about both of those awhile ago. Thank Christ (go on! Thank him!) they're not having Big-Willy Style touch that film. And yeah, I'm not surprised to see Bollywood copy that film as that's what they're commonly known for.

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There is no Oldboy prequel. Requiem is dumb. Thirst was the only one of his films I thought was in the same league, though.

When it comes to Korean directors, I can't recommend Ki-Duk Kim highly enough. 3-Iron is just about as good as it gets. Dream is possibly better.

Yeah, I honestly don't know what I'm talking about. Just felt like being included in the conversation. I'm a loser online and irl.

BTW, if you haven't seen TS3 you should. It was a drastic improvement over the other two.

I'll check him out.

And Reqtum, please go back to the kiddie table until you can prove that you're intelligent, or at least quite enough, to join the conversation. Don't worry, Paddy will be supervising the children's table and I'm told he has lots of fun games for you! Like the blindfolded versions of "guess what's in the paperbag" and "guess that taste".

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I've got Chicken McFucklets!

Requiem, when you say TS3 are you referring to Toy Story 3? And if so, are you referring to the movies featuring action figures which come alive or the porno series featuring a dildo-cam? Guess which one gave me the most nightmares.

On Korean films.. The Chaser is one I'd recommend.

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1190539/

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I heard that Kim Jong is a hobby filmdirector. He produces films like the first few Godzilla movies (which are godlike!!)

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I was guessing he meant Terminator 3, but I can see how you saw Toy Story 3 as it'd make you more attracted to him.



Yeah, and I also read about how he kidnapped one of his favorite South Korean film makers, brought him back to the North, and forced him to help him make a movie. Christ, is that guy fucking nuts.

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Just watched Drugstore Cowboy. Strange movie...I really enjoyed Matt Dillion's character. Probably the best thing he's done next to There's Something About Mary.

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Pusher, Pusher II, Pusher III

If You haven't watched it yet do it asap. Amazing movies, Refn at his best. This trilogy is just great.

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Inception.

I understood it.

I enjoyed it.

Way fucking better than The Dark Knight. It's a mind-fuck without being too confusing.

Thoughts?

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I don't think Inception deserves the 'confusing' tag it was labeled with before it was even released. They explain everything very well during the film; if you don't follow it's really your own fault. The ending is (somewhat) open to interpretation, but not 'confusing.' It's not like it's Primer or something.

Haven't seen the Pusher trilogy, but just saw Valhalla Rising, Hefn's latest. Very strange film. Very Herzogy in certain ways. Not sure how I feel about it. The opening sequences are the most black metal shit ever to be filmed, though. Lots of men dressed like Vikings standing around in mist-covered fields, talking about how fucked up Christianity is.

Agreed. And yea in my opinion there was a pretty obvious ending... they just kept you hanging a bit.

I enjoy when films have crazy layered ideas and plot points that don't get lost. It actually takes a pretty smart director to keep you on top of everything. Fo sho. I hope everything i wrote made sense, I just woke up.

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I thought Inception was a squirt of pseudo-intellectual cunt diarrhea. A dream, within a dream, within a dream, within a dream....fuck you.



person 1: "naw, man it's like, your subconscious."


person 2: "but what if it's actually your subconscious ?"


person 1: "no...it's your subconscious."


person 2: "but your subconscious is like a dream, man."


person 1: "no u"


person 2: "..........subconscious "


person 1: "..........dream"

*scene





Where's my 10 dollars?

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Just saw Inception last night and I enjoyed it. I agree, it really wasn't confusing at all as it was all laid out quite well. I didn't think it was psuedo-intellectual at all because, really, it wasn't very "intellectual". If anything it was a bit "pop-psych" which didn't bother me. And yeah, its no Primer.

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Moe, maybe you're not too interested in the subject matter? It really didn't come off as pretentious to me, as the whole dream idea is pretty fascinating.

Your layout of the movie between person 1 & 2 really makes it sound like you missed a lot... the subconscious was part of the film, yes.

I will rarely call a movie a masterpiece, and this wasn't one. Definitely creative and original, though, seeing as its the only good movie in a long time to not be based upon a book or previous movie.

In summation: opinions.

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Best thong ever. I want one of this for every goddamn movie

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I finally overcame my homoerotic hatred of Colin Farrell and watched In Bruges, aka "In Fokin' Bruges?!", the other day. My sweet review:

Colin Farrell is a cunt, and he's not even handsome. Brendan Gleeson is fat and ginger, something the director was able to weave into the fabric of the film to the point where I wasn't even thinking about it after a while, which may have had something to do with the fact that there's a midget in it. Said midget was the kind of midget I like; little limbs, massive head. He also possessed a rudimentary grasp of language and walking, which is just fucking awesome for the leedle fella. I hadn't seen a midget take drugs, drink heavily, frolic with prostitutes and say racist things about blacks since I wrote my last play.

I think the midget should be in more movies where he plays the exact same character, except with lots of explicit penetrative sex scenes and graphic violence.

Waving to a midget and then having the midget ignore you in a crowded street is something I can relate to, and it made me dislike Colin Farrell a little less. It was almost like we were brothers, and I was the good looking one with the sweet threads.

In conclusion, I liked In Bruges and am eagerly awaiting In Bruges II: Revenge of da Leedle Peeple.


Has anyone seen Boxing Helena? It was made by David Lynch's daughter, and I haven't seen the film since the early 2000s, but apparently it was panned and despised by pretty much everyone. I seem to remember liking it when I first saw it, possibly because the lead male reminded me of me, and not just because he's good looking and thin. I spotted it on one of my usual download haunts and decided to give it another whirl now that I'm all cultured and whatnot.

Have you seen Woody's Cassandra's Dream, Paddy? I bet you'd like Colin Farrell in that. I've never seen In Bruges, but I've been inside a Bruge. Not really, but I'd like to be. I bet they taste like delicious beer.

Never seen Boxing Helena.

Recorded the first Pusher last night. Will report back.

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Oh. My. God.

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0975720/

I'm downloading as I type this. I shall report back once it has been adequately absorbed into my white matter.

I haven't seen Cassandra's Dream; I generally steer clear of Woody Allen movies which don't feature the man himself. I'm not a fan of most of the cast, either. Is it worth watching or are my reservations justified?

Well, I'm like you in that I much prefer my Woody's with Woody in them, but this is one of the better non-Woody movies. If you liked Match Point you'd probably like this. Both are in the same idea of Crimes and Misdemeanors (though not as good) in that they both deal with the concept of murder, its motives, consequences, and how people might deal with them.

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Not a big fan of Boxing Helena, which is odd because I am a big fan of performing amputations upon Sherilyn Fenn intended to make her into a fetishized object, so it really should have been up my alley. But I just think it was inept. Surveillance, however, is apparently quite good. I think it's a good thing that David Lynch apparently didn't help his daughter out at all in becoming a filmmaker (I mean in terms of helping her creatively), as the alternative (such as FF and Sophia Coppola) means it can take a while before it becomes apparent that the daughter isn't what she thought she was.

In Bruges is really good, as is Six Shooter, the previous McDonaugh/Gleeson collaboration, which won an Oscar (for Live Action Short). I believe Paddy to be a ginger who dyed his hair and skin to pass like a 1950's mulatto. Just admit that you're a fat old ginger like Gleeson and you won't have to keep mentioning how 'thin' and 'appropriately pigmented' you are.

Cassandra's Dream is, in my opinion, much better than Match Point, though it also highlighted Woody's whole 'I'm going to shoot this as fast as I can so I can be home in time to watch baseball' approach to filmmaking: every scene sports only one or two setups, and several takes with flubbed lines are included. Still, it's definitely worth checking out and features no gingers, making it quite unlike this thread, which features Paddy prominently.

Okay, I need to start getting movies from you and Dylan, because it seems that you have quite the database. MSN or AIM?

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arsonist _ savior @ hotmail.com, but Richipoopsikins_88 is the man for movies if you ever want a recommendation. He probably won't give you one without a solid 8-roper, though.

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A man after my own penis. I probably wouldn't have bothered watching it if Madonna or Kim Basinger had taken the lead as planned. Fenn may get one of my Hinckley sniper bullets before Natalie Portman does.

I don't remember a hell of a lot about the film except for the obvious, but the overall thrust of it is something I imagine David Cronenberg doing better.

I liked the idea of someone being so obsessed with a woman that they'd go to such lengths in their desperation, and I even more liked the idea that [SPOILER>] it turned out to be a fantasy, which is something I generally despise in movies, but here it reflected the sort of deranged thinking we've all been guilty of for a few seconds at some point in our lives (PROJECT MUCH?). If a woman is obviously too good for you it's tempting to picture scenarios in which she'd settle for you, such as becoming a burns victim or a paraplegic and needing 24-hour care, with you being the only one willing to do it, etc. I have nice dreams.[/SPOILER]

I thought it was kinda sad that she practically went into hiding after the frosty reception of Boxing Helena; even Scorsese's first attempts weren't up to scratch! But I think it's fair to say that she was probably expecting some sort of cult following or the like because of her dad and the Lynch Senior-esque nature of her first feature. Shit happens.

I remember watching some of the extra features for The Godfather III and hearing that Sofia Coppola was basically a talentless bucket of shit who was only there because of her father, but at no point did I hear anything negative said about that hack cunting useless foreskin bacterium of a wanklette that is Andy Garcia. During their scenes together it wasn't Sofia I was pointing at and laughing, lemme tell ya! When the pair are in the kitchen and Garcia is showing her how to make whatever the fuck they were making, I literally laughed out loud when he said "Hold me". It was probably the wrongest, ungoodliest delivery of a line ever committed to celluloid. THE SEVERED FOETUS WOULD HAVE BEEN MORE CONVINCING!

...sir, I disapprove of what you say, but I will defend to the death your right to say it, unless what you said involves me being ginger.

I actually quite like Gleeson. He was fantabulous in The General, Braveheart, I Went Down and indeed Brugesness. I haven't seen Six Shooter, I'll have to give it a whirl.

There's a chance I may have seen this but just don't remember the details, because there was a time a couple of years ago when I downloaded every Woody Allen film in existence and watched them all more or less back-to-back. Does anyone here ever do that? Just pick an actor or a director, look him/her up on IMDB.com and start from the bottom? Good times, if you have the bandwidth.

I recently watched Annie Hall for the third or fourth time, and the more I watch it the more I'm sure of one thing - Diane Keaton is an irritant.

You want me to be ginger because you think gingers are good luck, thus increasing your chances of procuring even more Jew-gold.

Are these like underground movie punters?? Or is that arsonist one you.

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I usually don't download movies simply because I hate watching them on my 1998 40lbs monitor, but I will do something similar and go on certain director/actor sprees and get whatever I can get my hands on. I need to buy a new fucking monitor.

Woody Allen is the first director that I actually bought whatever I could get my hands on (I own about half of his catalog) and probably the catalyst that got me really into film.

Annie Hall is great, and is usually the film I recommend to people who have no exposure to Woody Allen. Two of my newer favorites that have bumped up of his are Deconstructing Harry (which is loosely based off of Ingmar Bergman's Wild Strawberries) and Love and Death. Both of which feature Woody as lead, so double-worth checking out if you care to do so.



They are punters and I am also an arsonist. I'm probably not the best person to give the best movie referrals though.

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I think Annie Hall was one of the first WA movies I saw, along with Manhattan Murder Mystery. I really liked both, but Diane just doesn't sit well with me, and I'm not entirely sure why. Probably because of my wonky chairs.

Long live the Woody one.

Last night I flicked around a little and stumbled upon a movie called Botched. A while ago I had a little hobby scouring the world for horror movies, so I kept with it. I've become pretty numb to gore (not to mention bored with) but there was something about this that had me in a continuous "Uuuuuuuh... that's kinda sick, man". Anyone else?

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Never seen Botched.

Two of my favorite D-list horror flicks: Castle Freak and Basket Case.

Basket Case is especially awesome. "A young man carrying a big basket that contains his deformed Siamese-twin brother seeks vengeance on the doctors who separated them against their will." (IMDB). Near the end there is a rape scene, and it is glorious. I mean, seriously, when is the last time you saw a severed, half-formed fetus rape a girl?

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The creamy seed of Will Smith has taken form; it has sprouted eyes, legs and rudimentary language skills. And it makes movies even shittier than those of its issuer.

http://www.imdb.com/media/rm3157099008/tt1155076

The thumbless motherfucker that he is.

The question is, does that image show Jaden running down an alleyway, or does it show his permanently mangled Smith-gait as he tries to walk in a straight line? Is this some sort of Scientological hypno-dance? Is he using his Thetans to lure yellow-faced children into the Smith Lair of Eternal Talentlessness™ for processing?

Anyone seen the Karate Kid remake? Mr. Miyagi must be rolling his paper Asian coffin.

He was riding and invisible skateboard.

Karate Kid remake = epic fail
How could you replace the original Mr. Miyagi with Jackie Chan. Even though I love him its just wrong.

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How could a black kid learn karate

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afroninja?

I'll see your Afro-Ninja and I'll raise you Wesley muthafuckin' Snipes.

Plus if that Playstation game was anything to go by the Wu Tang Clan are quite adept at firing off some sweet roundhouse kicks to the face and neck.

The Room. Worthy of it's own thread? The Room. The Room. The rooooooom.
You're tearing me apart!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7S9E...feature=related
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mQ4KzClb1C4
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Plz-...feature=related


And, in conclusion:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ocFumueZq0Y

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WTF is this shit?

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yea that was weird

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The Room is a shitty movie some asshole wasted a lot of money and technical ability making. After seeing how poorly it came out, he then insisted it was a joke all along, a parody of, apparently, shitty movies or something. It's gathered a bit of a following among people who like to appreciate things ironically.

It has not, however, gathered a bit of a following among me, so I don't want to see it getting its own thread.

Saw Machete. It's everything people want The Expendables to be. Planning on checking out The American tonight or tomorrow. Anything with the word 'America' in the title is guaranteed to be awesome!

Saw the weirdest movie ever.. The Holy Mountain. I almost turned it off a couple times but wound up sticking it out..

How was The American, Rich? I've heard its not very good.

I'm going to a screening of Woody's new film You Will Meet A Tall Dark Stranger and I'm looking forward to it.

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You heard wrong. Just very minimalist, kinda the type of movie they used to make in Europe during the 60's. It's not amazing or anything, but it's good if you don't mind watching a very quiet film with very little storytelling redundancy (for a film starring a famous American actor, at least).

Saw You Will Meet A Tall Dark Stranger yesterday. It was good, very Woody. I liked the cast, too: Anthony Hopkins, Naomi Watts, Josh Brolin, Antonio Banderas. My mother gets to interview Hopkins today. Lucky bitch.

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Is that a euphemism for your mother being on the game? "I'm just going out to...interview Hopkins. I'll be back in an hour, probably significantly sooner if I'm seeing Paddy again."

I hate to say it, but I find myself completely and utterly unexcited when Woody releases a movie in which he doesn't star or at least has a central role. I can't even be bothered downloading those movies for free from the netterwebs because I've yet to see one which doesn't bore me stupid. It's a fuckin' shame is what it is.

I'm about to watch Gangs of New York with Scorsese's commentary. It better be a proper commentary this time and not one of those shitty 30-second bursts every other scene jobbies like he usually does. I doubt I'd bother watching it again in its "vanilla" form, although it's almost worth enduring just to see Daniel Day Lewis being awesome all over the place.

Scorsese's commentary wasn't constant throughout the film, but it was more than satisfying. One of the best commentaries I've heard, actually. Fuck Leonardo Decapitated and his "bankability".

Look at this:

http://www.bloody-disgusting.com/news/21747

Doug Bradley, the guy who played Pinhead for all 8 of the Hellraiser movies, is being replaced. They are keeping the Pinhead character in the next film, but have hired some practically anonymous bald guy to wear the make-up. Fuck me this is gonna be interesting, but which I of course mean a giant cocksuck.

Here's the actor's "theatrical reel" aka clips of films he's been in:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gtf85XsWBck

I love how he included the gay scene, which had absolutely nothing going on in it except the fact that it proves he's able/willing to be gay in films, because he's all deep and professional and whatnot. Assuming he's not actually gay to begin with, but even if he is my point stands - this vacant scene does nothing to show how good of an actor he is, but instead...ahhh fuck this.

This is a fucking abomination, from the title on down.

Discuss.

Absofuckinglutely. The original one was tits and doesn't need to be remade just so people who are too lazy to read subtitles can see a watered-down, Hollywood version. I got invited to a screening for it and I don't know if I could stomach it.

I haven't seen anything else by Tomas Alfredson. Has he got any other good stuff?

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Just got done watching Machete. It took me about 3 hours to get through it, what with having to stop and have a wank every 10 minutes. Good flick, worth watching if you're unabashed about enjoying over-the-top violence and sexy lassies for their own sake.

The very first thing I'd like to know is why you translate "Let the right one enter in" to "Let me in". Oh. Right. The audience would be scared away by such a long title. Silly me.

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Haha fair point. I haven't seen the original yet; am I to take from the animosity the remake has received here that it's worth checking out with my favouritest checking-stuff-out-gland?

I haven't seen any films of it, just read the book. The book is actually really good.
It's rather impressive. You have an author that writes one book about vampires and one about zombies and manages to make both quite original.

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Books are always better then the movie that is based on the book. Just like Illuminati

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Just like Spaceballs.

Or The Brave Little Toaster!

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The brave little toaster is a book? Wow. Tomorrow I'll have to go to the library, pick it out, put it on a table and just look at it. I mean. The brave little. A book about. Wow.

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Its not, I was just beeing a SILLY DYLY!!!!

I wish it was. I fucking love that movie.

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Boom. Wish granted, bitch.

Books are not always better than the films based upon them. In general, it's hard, if not impossible, to make a good or great book into even a good movie, but it's much easier to make a mediocre novel into a great film. The problem is that people keep trying to adapt excellent literature and ending up with something less.

Well I'll be... I might have to read that one afternoon, just for nostalgic reasons. However, sometimes children's books can be surprisingly good, like The Phantom Tollbooth, for instance. Anyone read that one?

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Has anyone read The Godfather? Just wondered how it compared to the film. I remember hearing Coppola say that he thought the book was - and I'm paraphrasing here - fuckin' fandabbidozy, son! I've been tempted to pick up a copy at various times over the past several years, but then I remembered that I can't be arsed.

My dad read it and he said the movie is actually quite a bit better then the book haha.
Please tell me why I haven`t seen The Brave Little Toaster Movie. It`s just sooo unpopular over here. Must see it
CANCRUM ORIS BEFALLS YOUR FUCKING FAAAAAAAAAACE

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Read it. It's basically a slightly above-average crime novel with lots of sex scenes and three times as much story as the movie. It's a very good example of a decent novel that was transformed into an excellent film.

I don't think I could handle the writer's cut of the wedding scene. That shit moves slower than salad at an obesity convention. The interspersed wheelings and dealings of the Mafioso attending the ceremony, and Michael's character exposition, didn't even make a dent in the impenetrable edifice of children and the elderly dancing around fully dressed for what feels like half the film's runtime. I wouldn't call myself a philistine, mainly because I don't know what one is, but there's no fuckin' need for that shit.

I bought the trilogy for my brother on Blu-ray recently, I may watch 'em later, or rather I may watch them over the next chapter of my adult life. Fuck me thems is some long shits.

Too be fair, most of the cut story was used in the 'present day' portions of Godfather Part II, or involved Sonny Corleone's penis.

Seriously. There is an entire subplot that continues after his death involving the size of his penis and its affect on people. That is not a lie or an exaggeration. You have no idea how much better (or worse!) the film is.

To be honest I'd rather read a graphically detailed account of another man's penis than watch the next Hellraiser sequel. Behold the new Pinhead:

http://www.shocktillyoudrop.com/new...ws.php?id=16804

I've fingered scarier creatures than that.

Well, at least we now know for certain that it's possible to turn one of the few truly sickening horror characters into emo. Jeez, look at that guy. Primarily I want to tear his head off, but there's just something about his demeanor that gives me this strange urge to wanna swaddle and comfort the decapitated corpse.

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my only thoughts right now

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Saw Jackass 3d last night. God damn it's funny.

A+ for imagery!

He looks like a Pinhead from an alternate universe in which he has learning difficulties and talks like Buckwheat.

I be so happy right now.

It's so unfair too. I mean, as a general rule I find horror, and particularly gore, just bloody (HAHAHAHHA) boring. But the Hellraiser movies have something, especially the early ones with the "real" effects. Something even I find gut churning. And much of it revolves around the Pinhead himself - and what do the fuckers do in the remake? They fuck him up. Just like you'd expect from a bunch of fuckers.

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Anyone watched The Human Centipede?

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Watched. Stared. Drooled. Probably cried a bit. Called mom. Had a long walk. Suppressed the memory. Thanks a lot chum!

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I agree, and I think Clive Barker's main stipulation with regards to the remake is that the effects have to be practical ones, and not CGI. I fucking hate CGI in all its forms, for one reason and one reason only. If I'm watching a scene in a film and I am acutely aware that I'm looking at computer generated graphics and effects, the effect has failed. I honestly think it cheapens, detracts from and ruins films, and I've NEVER seen a film which has used CGI well (certainly not to the point where I can't instantly recognise it). And now we have 3D to contend with. Oh what wondrous new technologies are being crowbarred into our films!

The effects in Hellraiser are obviously dated, but even though they don't look completely convincing they still get a reaction from you, and I think that's because you're seeing a physical process at work, rather than pixels being coloured red. I remember someone here posted a work safety video [found it!] which was so severe in its representation of gore that I actually felt a bit sick at one point, and that was in spite of the fact that the effects were shit and the acting was laughable. Had it been in CGI I wouldn't have batted an eyelid. Physical, practical effects are the way to go, even if you only have a small budget to work with, because dodgy latex and blood packs are always gonna be better than a $10,000,000 CGI effect. Sad but true.

CGI to film-making is like Adobe Flash to web design; if you want to rub shoulders with the big boys, and if you want the biggest companies to invest in your product, you simply have to use this shit regardless of its real-world value, because it's in vogue and it's expected of you. Anyone who's anyone in the industry is using CGI/Flash!

I've seen this floating around Usenet for a while now, but I never bothered downloading it. It seems like a load of bollocks; is it actually worth checking out, Gomers?

I'd refer you to my post. Actually, I'd put the centipede into the same category as The Room by the one and only Wiseau.

But yea, I think you do recognize that it's something happening for real, even if it's just an effect. Maybe there's some subtlety here than you'd think? It's like the actual physical process works like a key to get under your skin and trigger the instinctual aversion to seeing a fellow human being injured. Especially that first movie, when you get acquainted with those chains for the first time. I don't mind saying it, I usually can sit through a horror movie like the rock all the girls cling to, but I actually squirm a little at that. Come to think about it, the original The Thing has a little of it too. Not as much as when you throw Pinhead into the pot - damn, he really did a good job with that character - but still.

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Very true, the chains are fucking inspired tools of dismemberment and torture. I think Frank's second encounter with them is much worse though. Interestingly, the last scene featuring Frank (SPOILERS) was cut short in the film, but in the second film during the flashback to the events in the first it shows the full effect of Frank's head splitting in two (click!). I nearly lost my lunch the first time I saw it, manly because I didn't realise there was an uncut version of it and wasn't expecting it haha.

I think the original Hellraiser was so very nearly a perfect horror film, but it started falling apart towards the end (MORE SPOILERS). In the book, after Pinhead's literary equivalent says "this isn't for your eyes" and sends Kirsty out of the room, that's pretty much the end of it. Kirsty leaves, the house falls apart, and there's none of this nonsense about Cenobites suddenly changing their minds and chasing after her, firing out Hollywood one-liners in the process. It was during the last 5 minutes of the film when the franchise was born and the path was paved to Sequelville. If a remake is to happen I hope they at least shave this wart of an ending off of the original's back.

I first saw Hellraiser when I was about 7. An older guy from my street was left alone in the house while his folks went shopping, and he invited a bunch of us in to watch it. I arrived late, I think the rebirth had already taken place, and I was so fucking terrified, but I LOVED that shit. I had an adrenaline rush the entire time, and I was buzzing for hours after I left. Because of that I've always had a soft spot for the film and its imagery, but even without that initial sensory overload at the tender age of 7 (the tenderest of all ages, lemme tell ya) I reckon it's one of the more respectable genre films; it has a certain credibility which films like Friday the 13th and Nightmare on Elm Street don't have. In fact, I saw all of the Nightmare on Elm Street films before I saw Hellraiser, and they didn't bother me even at that age, but Hellraiser really got under my...ooooooo I was so close to a pun there!

Wow, seven? I don't think I would have survived the ordeal at that age. Seriously, not given a route of escape I'd probably die of heart failure. Hm, there's another little point of egocentric interest. Somewhere along the line this utter indifference to movie horror sprang up. I wonder when and why?

To some extent I actually don't mind the "series" of Hellraiser, but maybe that's in part due to the fact that if horror movies were magic shows, I wouldn't expect more than three billiards balls and a dead rabbit out of a medium sized freight container.
I think I was sixteen when I first saw Hellraiser, and by then my boredom with horror movies had become something of a running challenge among my friends. Then one night I chanced to turn it on right at the beginning and was too lazy to zap on. I'm not exactly sure what is is; I mean, I sometimes stick needles into the hardened part of my left hand finger tips (guitar...) as a party trick, I'm not exactly squeamish. But I sure did feel squeamish at that scene with Frank. It's just... uack.

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Dude, don't be such a wimp. Get a needle and thread and sew them suckers together on the ends. I used to do that when I still had good callouses.

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Fucking dead on, Pads.

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I have no fucking idea, I haven`t brought myself to watch it because most of the reviews I read were about the same like the short one from Amadeus. I`m scared man I`m scared

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Be afraid. Be very afraid. Actually, if you are among those who actually get a sort of kick out of watching stuff like The Room, you might enjoy the Centipede. It's bordering on surreal, which always contain a certain kind of hilarity in cases where this was not the aim of the film maker.




And why, I'd very much like to know, would I do that, when there are fine wenches at hand to do it for me, should I so wish?

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Just because the CGI you acknowledged as CGI failed to do its job in fooling you, doesn't mean there isn't plenty of CGI that has been successful and you didn't realize it was CGI. It is basically just a post production tool that gives directors more freedom after everything's been shot. Believe me there is a lot more CGI in everything you see than you think.

On that note I am a fan of blood packs.

As a post production tool to clean things up or whatever it's fine, but when large visual effects are taking place on screen which are comprised mainly of CGI it's always blatantly obvious.

Take Gladiator; the vast majority of the large Roman buildings and wide shot battle scenes are obviously the product of green screen tampering or simply copying and pasting large sections of extras into other parts of the screen (even more obvious is the CGI superimposition of Oliver Reed's face onto another actor's head). It's so noticeable that it draws the eye and breaks the illusion, which is why it fails. When shitty physical effects fail (that is, when they look ridiculous or unconvincing) they still carry a certain weight, which can't be said of CGI.

In the latest DVD release of Romper Stomper (possible spoiler here) there was an additional CGI effect added which was basically a trickle of blood on the forehead of one of the skinheads when he gets shot. Even a 2-inch red trickle isn't convincing in CGI; it looked like he had a red plastic "trickle" shape stuck to his face haha.

I think the reason I dislike CGI is because when you know it's happening you feel somewhat cheated, like the effect you're seeing is ethereal and doesn't exist in the real world. It's just a ghostly apparition in place of latex, squibs and blood packs.

Can you give some examples of movies which feature CGI in some form or another but which do it in such a way that you can't really tell?

It's true that CGI that you notice can ruin the filmgoing experience (except for CGI blood in Japanese films, because those fuckers never even bothered with realistic practical blood effects to begin with), the fact of the matter is that almost any film with any sort of special effects has CGI in it, and you probably don't notice it at all 90% of the time.

Part of the problem is that the same films that have really good CGI tend to have at least one scene of absolutely piss-terrible CGI. This is a natural byproduct of the CGI process, and to my mind the most salient argument against the use of CGI: it would be impossible for any given CGI house to do all the CGI required of a given movie, so different sequences are farmed out to different houses, which differ wildly in terms of production quality.

The reason the CGI blood in Romper Stomper looks like shit is because it was probably done as cheaply as possible, as an afterthought over a dozen years after production, and is the only piece of CGI in the whole film. It's like saying the shitty bass tone from ...And Justice for Jason is a good reason why bass should regularly be absent from the mix in album production. I also don't know that Gladiator, as opposed to say Inception, is really a good example of the current level of CGI regularly used in blockbuster films. Your argument is stacked, Ginger.