PST should read this right here -
This is a script, I love it. It deals with an unstable teen, and someone talking to him. I love this for it's philosophical value to me, I love its message. It's my favourite thing ever. Now, if A)You enoy a longer read and B)You can get over the fact that this particular teen hates himself and is completely emo, I hope you will like it. I hope someone reads it, LBXXX or Amadeus? Or PST I would like you to see this because you are smart. And after completion, No, I don't relate this to myself as the teen. I just love this thing.

So make up your mind, here goes, hope you like it.

***

That is what you must admit to yourself.
You must admit your own value.

I don't have any value.
I don't have value worth living for.

Then, what are you?

Then what am I?
Where am I?
What the hell am I?


-
So, you need the barrier of the mind.
-


What? It's me. The shape that I show to others,
the symbol representing me.
This, and this, and this, all these are representations
of me. Nothing but the things that make others recognize me.
What am I? Is this me? The true me? The false me?

You are you. Yet, you have your own region and border.

Let's see. My clothes, my shoes, my room.
Those are part of myself.

The things linked together by your will.

The thing that I think is myself is me.
I am nothing but myself.
Yet, I don't understand. Where am I?
What am I? What am I?
Nobody understands me.


-
And so, you wished for a
barrier around your heart
-



You idiot! Of course not!
Nobody ever understands you.
The one who takes care of you, and the one
who understands you, is nobody but yourself.
So, take care of yourself.

But I still don't have myself, so I don't understand myself.
There's no way to take care of myself.


-
You are unstable.
-



You are still unstable.
The present you,
The people around the present you,
The environment that surrounds the present you.
None of them last forever.
Your time is always flowing.
You are made of the changing world.
You are the thing that may change according to your own mind.

What? The world of nothing. The world with nobody.

The world of freedom.

Freedom?

The world of freedom which will never be restrained by
anybody.

Is this Freedom?

Yes. The world of freedom.
As a result, there's nothing.

Unless I think.

Yes, unless you think.

What the hell! I don't know what I should do.

You are uneasy.
You don't have your own image.
Too vague.
Everything is vague.


-
That's freedom.
-



The world where you can do anything you like.
Yet, you are uneasy.
Don't you know what you should do?

What should I do?

I give you a constraint.
Now you have a top and a bottom.
Now you have lost one degree of freedom.
Now you have to stand on the ground.
But you obtain a comfort.
Your mind becomes slightly easier.
And you walk.
That is your will.

Is this my will?

The world with a floor is the world surrounding you.
Yet, you can move freely.
If you wish, you can change the position of the world.
The position of the world does not stay the same.
It changes through the flow of time.
You can also change.
The things that form you are your own mind and
the world surrounding you.
Since this is your own world.
The real form that you conceive.


-
That is reality.
-



This is the world of nothing, space with nothing,
the world of nothing.
The world with nothing but me.
I am understanding myself less.
I feel as if I'm going to disappear.
My existence is fading away.


-
Why?
-



Because there's nobody but you.

Nobody but me?

Because you have no existence outside of yourself,
You can't figure out your own shape.

My shape?



-
My image.
-




Yes. You are getting to know your own shape through
seeing others' shapes.
Seeing others' walls, you imagine yourself.
You cannot see yourself unless there are others.

Because there are others, I can exist.
If alone, I am always alone anywhere.
The world is entirely from me..

By recognizing the difference between yourself and
others, you form an image of yourself.
The very first other person is your mother.
Your mother is a different person from you.

Yes. I am I. Yet, it's true that others form the shape
of my mind.

That's right.
You're too slow to understand.

I've got it. This is also a world.
The possibility within me.
The me at the moment is not always the me as I am.
There are many of myself.
Yes. There must be a me who is not what I am.

Considering that, the real world itself is not always bad.

The real world might not always be bad.
But, I hate myself.

It's your mind that conceives that the reality is bad
and hateful.
The mind which confuses Reality with the Truth.
The angle of view, the position. If these are slightly
different, what is inside your mind will change a lot.
There are as many truths as there are people.
But there's only one truth that you have,
which is formed from your narrow view of the world,
It is revised information to protect yourself,
the twisted truth.
Oh, yes. the view of the world that one can
have is quite small.
Yes, you measure things only by your own small
measure.
One sees things with the truth, given by others.
Happy on a sunny day.
Gloomy on a rainy day.
If you're taught that, you always think so.
But, you can enjoy rainy days.
Through different ways of conceiving, the truth
will change into very different things; it's a weak thing.
The truth within a person is such a cheap thing that
people wish to know deeper truths.
It's only that you're not used to being liked by people.
So, you don't have to look to others' faces.

But, don't you hate me?

You idiot! It's only you who is always trying to believe
that.

Yet, I hate myself.

Those who hate themselves cannot love or trust others.

I am wicked, cowardly, weak and ..

If you know yourself, you can be kind to others.

I hate myself.
But, I might be able to love myself.
I might be allowed to stay here.
Yes. I am nothing but I.
I am I. I wish to be I.
I want to stay here!
I can stay here!

Congratulations!

Thank you!
Thank you, my father.
Good bye, my mother.
And to the all the children,
Congratulations!

The thing I found most reoccurring in the piece was the "me/I" idea which is a common reversion to the 2/3 year old stage of infancy in some teens. A normal thing in most cases although exaggerated to extremes sometimes. I think that could be the case in the character here.
Some of the aspects you covered were pretty cool such as the freedom thing. The constraint giving a sense of security was good.
The thing I didn't like about it were the "idiot" parts. That shifted the characters into superior and inferior roles and could very easily have pushed the already unstable teen further into selfworthlessness. Maybe that's why he asked whoever he was talking to about the hating of himself.
It seemed a little drawn out, but as a conversation I didn't think it was bad at all.

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Ps I didn't write it....

No offense, but I'd like to slap you in the ear right now. I wish you'd said that in the beginning. People take a different appraoch to reading something when it's something unchangeable.

Maybe you should think about editting that little bit to the introduction paragraph so others know. Not everyone reads all the posts that follow a beginning post.

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hahaha

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In light of the song/tab rip-offs, to whom does the credit go for writing this and what is it from?

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Evangelion Scriptwriters and Madman I guess.

Thanks for that info. I'll have to check into more about it.

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I read everything posted here, unfortunately, so there's no need to call my attention to anything.

On another note, I didn't think that the fact that Infinity didn't write this was unclear. Nobody but an incredible egoist talks about something he wrote this way.

I liked pretty much the same thing L,B'XXX did, except I didn't see the 'idiot' parts as detracting from the whole in any way. One voice always seemed to be the guide and the other the confused self, with chastisement only one of the didactic methods used. There was never any kind of equality between the two voices.