two separate ones, not something im particularly proud of but it came out tonight
don't root for anything resembling metre or rhyme

a new project begins,fueled by the unstoppable
a force to allow and a force encouraged
an explosion demolishes without a plan of reconstruction
razed and cleared, empty hope

from a distance the wreckage is viewed
arms crossed, a posture unsure
the cost of renewal too great

remaining demoltion crew pace
while steel melts and forms in new
pieces of little use
for a lifetime theyll remain

the remaining question the purpose
an endeavor shallow and doubted
never satiated a project begins anew
wreckage must be cleared
----

with many come failures
a combination of them couldn't result
scales on what you appreciate most
and brevity in one insult

a dissolving mind,perfect host
discouraged and plead
our wounds still bled

and with no ground to stand on
there won't be a change
a collapse inevitable
the wanted - out of range

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YAY tranny...your no longer a lyric virgin...

I think the first one would go awesome as a ManOwaR-esque type song

the second one I dont know, I barely even understand it, and that is becasue of my stupidity.

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the first one has a plot and a mental image that it conjures, and its about myself as a person

the second one is about a relationship i have and means very little literally but to me i understand every word. i can explain it if you want but its terribly tedious if you dont really have any investment in my personal life

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Sod metre and rhyme; let me just point out that you've understood what I consider the basic in lyrics- and poemwriting; i.e. flow.
Just checking now:
First verse, second line: If it is written as you intended, it is good; it gives me the impression of two well defined forces. Just making sure that you're sure of tempus and form and so on.
First verse, fourth line: Is it not raZed that you mean? Otherwise I must admit it sounds a bit confusing.
Last verse, third line: Maybe a comma after satiated? It would work with my interpretation anyway.
My immediate feeling from this one is a sort of scrutinizing of the society around us and as such it is fairly spot on. Makes you think rather than just pressing the answers into your face. Then again I can also see how it could refer to a single person. It is less clear that way, but in no way does it lose that thought-provoking quality.

The second one was quite interesting. As I understand, things isn't good between you and you have caught that, well, "what the hell"-feeling, pretty well. And, maybe, since you seem to have found the words for the problem...?

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I also wondered about the word "raised" being "razed." I'm curious to find out about that one. Both pieces had good flow to them and I look forward to reading more from you.
The first one probably spoke to me in a totally different manner since you said it was about yourself. I could see that it could be about a person, but I could also see it as a person with many begun projects with good intentions that don't result in completion-- as in my explosive dining room with my craft projects and home repairs that need done. Good job on making it multi-directional.
In the second piece I think the meter and rhyme of the last verse, though possibly unintentional, added to the feeling of life continuing even though not in the direction one might want it. I liked that.

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yes yes , its supposed to be razed...that didn't look quite right. infinite props to a swede catching an english mistake!

the proper meaning for the second piece is so goddamn ridiculous i almost want to tell you all, but its much too embarassing! i will definitely be writing more


any meter or even lyricism that happend was purely unintentional except a few rhymes that i threw in.

im definitely going to start writing again, it feels good

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That's what it means to go with the flow. It worked well, Tranny. I hope you get bit hard by the writing bug. It's a great high when that happens.

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Indeed, long live the pestilence of writing fever.

Don't take it too hard Tranny. When it all comes around, English is my second first-language!

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