Sorry, If this should go under chit chat, just move it, I figured since it pertains to guitars in some way I'd put it here. Anyways, found this on another website. Some were pretty funny.


So.....You Might Be a Shredder if...

If you have an instrumental song where at least 20% involves finger tapping, you are a shredder.

If you think that Jackson, Ibanez, or Music Man makes the greatest guitars on the planet, you are a shredder.

If you lose half of your audience during a concert to boredom who happen to be big guitar fans, you are a shredder.

If you have to put out solo albums because you don't have enough room to express youself in a guitar heavy band, you are a shredder.

If you think Joe Satriani sold out when he started to sing on a few songs, you are a shredder.

If you think Clapton, EVH, Townsend, Angus, Young, Iommi, and Hendrix are slow playing hacks, you are a shredder.

If you think early Metallica and Slayer play to slow and don't have enough solos, you are a shredder.

If you can cram every scale known to man into a three minute song, you are a shredder.

If you still wear leather pants and stare at your guitar when you play, you are a shredder.

When you lose sight of writing memorable material and just focus on pointless speed gymnastics, then you're a shredder.

You are out to impress yourself and actually do, your a shredder.

Your friends are amazed at your playing for 30 seconds then start to yawn, then you know your a shredder.

The minute you put your foot on the monitor, you are a shredder.

When your hair reaches down lower than you wear your guitar.... you might be a shredder.

When your wife asks for her pants back before your company talent show... you might be a shredder.

When you have guitars that are all the same color with different stripe patterns.... you might be a shredder.

When you see the tab to Eruption in your mind when you sleep.. At double speed.. you might be a shredder.

When chicks do not dig your music, you might be a shredder.

When the blues players start to dislike your music because it doesn't include many audible blues/jazz/country influences then you are a shredder.

When you use a RG, Jackson, Explorer, or other thin necked pointy instruments at all, then you might be a shredder.

You know your a shredder when you take yourself so seriously playing guitar that you can't laugh at yourself when other people point out how much of a stereotype shredder you are!

When you have a guitar that has two necks pointing in the opposite direction, you might be a shredder.

If you ever video taped yourself playing to impress yourself and others, you might be a shredder.

The only job in the music business you can get is making guitar tutorial videoes, you might be a shredder.

If you own every Yngwie J.M. record ever recorded, you might be a shredder.

If you play in an 80s metal tribute cover band, you might be a shredder.

If your more popular in Japan than anywhere else in the rest of the world, you might be a shredder.

If you like Marty Friedman better when he when played outside of Megadeth, you might be a shredder.

If you've played guitar on one of Les Claypool's project records, you might be a shredder.

If you were a studio musician for Cher in the mid-80s, you might be a shredder.

If you were sponsored by Kramer before they went under, you might be a shredder.

If you think the monkey grip is cool on the Ibanez Jem models, you might be a shredder.

If you have actually simulated sex on stage with your guitar, you might be a shredder.

If David Lee Roth approached you about joining his solo band, you might be a shredder.

If you hate grunge, Nirvana and especially Kurt Cobain, you might be a shredder.

If you have ever owned a guitar with a naked chick painted on it, you might be a shredder.

If you own one or more neon pink or lime green guitars, you might be a shredder.

If you think set-neck guitars are for pussies, you might be a shredder.

If you have ever been on stage with a giant inflatable fake falice, you might be a shredder.

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... AMEN

Guilty as charged
funny shit!

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[QUOTE=davie_gravy]
If you have actually simulated sex with Cher in the mid-80s, you might be a shredder.[QUOTE=davie_gravy]






How did you know !?

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Fun stuff, man!

Jeez, and here have I been practiscing my scales like crazy to reach shredding speeds. Nope, it's back to Roxette for me. I think I still have that "Church of my Heart" tab here somewhere... better that than being accused of having stimulating sex with David Lee Roth on Cheer's solo album, anyway.

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Hehe, atleast a quarter of that stuff aplies to me... but i'm not a shredder
Everytime I hear people talk about shredders, i'm getting flashbacks from watching the Turtles cartoon

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Hey!!!

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Hmm...gotta make an instrumental with 100% finger tapping.


Haha cool stuff man.

I already have. Check the post your own songs thread for the powertab.

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haha i hate megadeth! BUT I LOVE CACOPHONY!!!!

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Ibanez is kickass.

Fuckin right man, cheers.

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Hahaah, that was funny! I stare at my guitar when I play, but I don't wear leather pants : /.

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you got too much time time on your hands, you should shred on your guitar more!

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You are a shredder if you can proform a 10 minute National Anthem on guitar and the neightbors call the cops before you finish.

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u should've said somthing about using a metrenome

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set necks are for pussies.
so are neck thru's
mother fuckers.

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If you really hate the Ninja Turtles, you might be a shredder.
If the necks on your guitar outnumber your arms, you might be a shredder.
I dont' know, why don't you guys post try coming up with some more shit? Kinda like that Saving The Princess Metal Style thread. That was kvlt as fuck.

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You might be a shredder if you have more then 24 frets and 7 strings on your guitar.

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A few things apply to me only a few though.

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I do this but I'm pretty sure I'm not really a shredder, but boy do I try. Haha...good laughs

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With all of that in mind. . . I am not a shredder. I try to keep all of that shit to a bare minimum in songs. . . but I guess if I wanted to enter the "guitar olympics." I would probably put myself to sleep playing the defeated function by form game. I even make fun of myself if I do most of the stuff on that list. . . and I guess I'm even a pussy because I prefer set and neck thru guitars.

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Tchambliss, you spelled "masturbate" wrong in your sig. Its not masterbate last time I knew.

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Why would you be a pussy if you play set necks and neck thru guitar? (i dont have one )

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Because thats what the first post says.

Hell, I never did it enough to know how to spell it, sorry. . . pretty lame. Eh, so what one word out of my entire diction that I have incorrectly spelled, but thanks for pointing it out to me. At least you could be thankful that less people use the common abbreviations "u" for "you" and "r" for "are". Count your blessings. E-whore intentional misspellings are more annoying than unintentional misspellings.

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Its all a personal preference ! I don't really give a shit about what I play as long as its comfortable, could be set-neck, neck-thru or bolt-on. I think people should stop bashing bolt-ons.

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Many higher end guitars are bolt on,Jems for example,and they are playable as fuck.

I personally don't see why people bash bolt ons in the first place. I know they don't normally have as much sustain but they are, in my opinion, a lot more comfortable to play than set necks are. I'll take an Ibanez over a Gibson any day for shredding.

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To me bolt-on's tend to have a thinner sound, less warmth. Also the thinner necks tend to hurt my hand, harder to grip for me because I do a lot of thumbing notes. Nothing wrong with bolt-on's in general, just personal preference. I would play a PRS and shred it, over an Ibanez anyday. Go at it Mikael Akerfeldt/ Peter Lindgren style. But I guess at this time it is more about playability for me, Active pickups tend to take away from the warmth of the wood, just as much if not more sustain, but obviously I am not getting the benefit of the wood used.

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That was fucking painfull to read.

Its not "Your a shredder"
Its "You're a shredder"

They didnt get it right once!

Must be a dialect thing then

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You might be a shredder if you've used empty 2-litre bottles as urinals.

if you were blind folded, and 3 guitars were being played, one set, one thru, and one bolted, it would hard to tell them apart.
its kinda like bottled water. it costs more, so it must be better! (neck thru's and set necks)
But in taste tests, tap water is usually chosen as the better tasting.

I do prefer bolt ons. And If I were to ever buy a Ran. Which i will never, but if I would, it'd be bolt on.

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Aye, me too.

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Bolt on = ability to replace. Neck through has a bit more sustain, and yeah they're real pretty, prestigious and all that, but bolt on is just more practical.

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I prefer the darker sound of neck through's ... but you can't knock a bolt on.

Bet I could.

You can't knock a WELL BUILT bolt on. I would throw my neck through Schecter in the garbage if it meant getting an Ibanez Jem.

ooo, jems are teh sex!

i love ibanez aanj neck joints...BEST.BOLT ON. EVER!

I'll play anything really but I do like the way neck-thru guitars feel. I can't descibe it but there is something about them that feels whole.

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Damn right,Its just that bolt-on neck guitars are associated with shitty low end guitars.