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2005-09-07, 19:51
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dsnt trust ne1 < 30
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Join Date: Jan 2003
Location: Home is where the <3 is
Posts: 8,881
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The only thing that sounded awkward was the "were" in the next to last line. Should it be "was" ? I'm not sure.
I really liked this. It was different and the wax reminded me of the old b/w wax museum movies which were supposed to be so eerie. It seems complete, but I'd actually like to see more done to this versewise or maybe a sequel to it.
Nice one.
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My eldest son's bipolar website: www.bipolarmanifesto.com
-wally: Mom, you shouldn't play after me because it makes you sound even worse than you already do. -wally:*grumbles and whispers quietly* I guess it's cuz I love you or something, but you're still a TURD
Grimm:I could read your mind but its in font size .5
Amadeus:Oh, and was there a cesserole (never mind spelling) involved?
Paddy:the fact that you didn't end up on a kids show makes me question my atheism
Dyldo: You evil strumpet!
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