MetalTabs.com - your source for Metal tabs
Home Forum FAQ Contact Us Link to Us


Go Back   MetalTabs.com Forum > Metal > Poetry Lyrical


 
 
Old 2005-08-25, 21:45
Schizoid's Avatar
Schizoid
Senior Metalhead
 
Join Date: Jan 2005
Posts: 290
Dusky Forest

Hi,

Here is a song called Dusky Forest I wrote. I used the forest as a sign of sin and the loss of a soul and a mountain as a sign of repent.


The dark woods
Calls me forth
Thy heart possessed with sin
Hardened with unbridled rage
Diverged… from the right road
Into the dusky forest
Inane to assent
The mountain of repent

Charon awaits for thy shadows

The sins that bellow out
With a force of their own
Combining to form demons
Blinding the light that leads to God

Rouse thy slumber
Apprehend thy sins
Awake to the fetid smell
Of the river of stale blood
On the banks of Acheron
An array of assembled throng
Charon the Helmsman
Ferries the damned away

The sins that bellow out
With a force of their own
Combining to form demons
Blinding the light that leads to God

Last edited by Schizoid : 2005-08-25 at 21:56.
 
Old 2005-08-26, 03:02
revoltingblob
New Blood
 
Join Date: Mar 2005
Posts: 17
I like it.
 
Old 2005-08-26, 13:49
Exodus666
Supreme Metalhead
 
Join Date: Apr 2003
Location: Belgium
Posts: 722
Nice! It's a bit in the vein of the stuff I like to write/read. I like the links with nature. You shouldn't have used that 'God' sentence though.
__________________
 
Old 2005-08-26, 16:09
L,B'XXX's Avatar
L,B'XXX
dsnt trust ne1 < 30
 
Join Date: Jan 2003
Location: Home is where the <3 is
Posts: 8,881
I'm not familiar with some of the references you used so I can't really say anything about those, but for just a general evalution of the song it seems to have a lot of nicely balanced imagery and the flow is nice, too.
Enjoyable to read.
__________________
My eldest son's bipolar website: www.bipolarmanifesto.com

-wally: Mom, you shouldn't play after me because it makes you sound even worse than you already do. -wally:*grumbles and whispers quietly* I guess it's cuz I love you or something, but you're still a TURD
Grimm:I could read your mind but its in font size .5
Amadeus:Oh, and was there a cesserole (never mind spelling) involved?
Paddy:the fact that you didn't end up on a kids show makes me question my atheism
Dyldo: You evil strumpet!
 
Old 2005-08-26, 19:43
Pandemonium's Avatar
Pandemonium
Post-whore
Banned
 
Join Date: Dec 2004
Location: Massachusetts
Posts: 1,318
It's pretty grim.
 
Old 2005-08-28, 12:48
BrokenCrimson's Avatar
BrokenCrimson
Post-whore
 
Join Date: Jun 2004
Location: Brisbane, Australia.
Posts: 1,023
Woah, this is the kind of shtuff I likes, I especially like the "light that leads to God" bit, because a lot of people don't use the imagery of light the way I like, and the way you put it is nice. Could you please do me a favour and don't explain methaphors before posting the lyrics, half the fun is working out the methaphors along the way and then seeing if you're right
__________________
I <3 12 year olds.
 
Old 2005-08-28, 19:22
timedragon's Avatar
timedragon
Legio Draconorum Orkian
 
Join Date: Jan 2004
Location: upon raging waves
Posts: 4,499
very good. would go well with atmospheric black metal. preferably synth drowned, the way like it. ...bishop of hexen (style)
 
Old 2005-08-30, 17:50
Cherub
New Blood
 
Join Date: Jun 2005
Posts: 13
Nicely written. I like the idea of sins forming into kind of demons making everything your thoughts cloudy. By the way who is Charon? What style are you doing that song in? Black, gothic, or melodic?

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

vB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is Off
HTML code is Off



Top

========

Contact Us | Privacy Policy | Disclaimer
Copyright © 2001-2014 MetalTabs.com. All Rights Reserved.
Powered by vBulletin
Copyright ©2000 - 2014, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.