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2005-08-22, 23:57
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dsnt trust ne1 < 30
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Join Date: Jan 2003
Location: Home is where the <3 is
Posts: 8,881
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You Would Always Win
"You Would Always Win"
(The Parting)
What did she say when you stood by the sea
Did she see the tear that fell upon your cheeks
As you wept for the dreams that had been cast aside
Did you let her know that what you'd always felt
Was the draw of something inside
Something that you knew would always overtake you
That would always win
(The Pursuit)
A little at a time it crept up to you
The eye that peered from beyond
That guided you even when you felt you were falling
And you wanted to take rest and hide
You can let go of the shadow behind you
But you can't quit dancing toward the lights
That lie in the distance before your eyes
And those other things that make you cry
Last edited by L,B'XXX : 2005-08-23 at 11:10.
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2005-08-22, 23:57
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dsnt trust ne1 < 30
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Join Date: Jan 2003
Location: Home is where the <3 is
Posts: 8,881
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(The Siren of Success)
The passion that was always there
The sunlight and raindrops in her hair
The way her smile filled the sky
Calling to your heart
(The Focus)
Casting your lifeline before you
Hoping it holds fast on the other side
Hand over hand, the seemingly endless line
Sweat overtakes the tears
But the pain in your hands doesn't compare
To the pain that lies deep inside
The taste of honey more than you ever imagined
The price unwavering
(The Solution)
Now a slave to the reality of dreams
But the smile on your tired lips shows the pleasure
Of the pain that you've endured
The water crossed to the other side
All on your own steam and navigation
Beaten on the rocks just at the edge of the shore
Until you arose at high tide and swam to sanity
And there was no turning back
No turning back anymore
BJH
8/22/2005
__________________
My eldest son's bipolar website: www.bipolarmanifesto.com
-wally: Mom, you shouldn't play after me because it makes you sound even worse than you already do. -wally:*grumbles and whispers quietly* I guess it's cuz I love you or something, but you're still a TURD
Grimm:I could read your mind but its in font size .5
Amadeus:Oh, and was there a cesserole (never mind spelling) involved?
Paddy:the fact that you didn't end up on a kids show makes me question my atheism
Dyldo: You evil strumpet!
Last edited by L,B'XXX : 2005-08-23 at 11:12.
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2005-08-23, 01:11
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dsnt trust ne1 < 30
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Join Date: Jan 2003
Location: Home is where the <3 is
Posts: 8,881
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A friend pointed out that I have the word "shore" at the ends of 2 lines at the end of the piece. I've tried reef, coast, strand, and bank and don't like any of those. Anyone got any ideas of what I can use there?
EDIT: I got some ideas for a few changes from a friend so that problem got remedied along with a few others that just improved I think. Comments and ideas still welcome, but the shore problem is no longer. 
__________________
My eldest son's bipolar website: www.bipolarmanifesto.com
-wally: Mom, you shouldn't play after me because it makes you sound even worse than you already do. -wally:*grumbles and whispers quietly* I guess it's cuz I love you or something, but you're still a TURD
Grimm:I could read your mind but its in font size .5
Amadeus:Oh, and was there a cesserole (never mind spelling) involved?
Paddy:the fact that you didn't end up on a kids show makes me question my atheism
Dyldo: You evil strumpet!
Last edited by L,B'XXX : 2005-08-23 at 11:14.
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2005-09-22, 04:10
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Drunken Yeti God
Alumni Staff
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Join Date: Aug 2001
Location: BangHer, Washington
Posts: 2,819
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Interesting stuff, Mom. I've read multiple of these, just not really sure how to reply because the standard "good work" is kinda boring and doesn't really say much.
__________________
Fuck Brad and everyone who looks like Brad. From the looks of this picture, I think he's jerking off too much. Keep him away from LouAnne.
I never fucked a 10, but one night I fucked five 2's.
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Originally Posted by BassBehemoth
You really have no dignity. I would rather have sex with my fifty year old father.
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2005-09-22, 04:55
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Toast-whore
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Join Date: Jan 2005
Location: Where the grass is green, and the girls 69.
Posts: 1,473
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Very good work 
__________________
My bands page ^
Think my attitude stinks?? You should smell my fingers.
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Originally Posted by BOB_ZE_METALLEU
yeah, one night he (BassBehemoth) came with some GHB and he put it in my drink, when i woke up....i lost my hymen....terrible  |
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2005-09-22, 11:17
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dsnt trust ne1 < 30
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Join Date: Jan 2003
Location: Home is where the <3 is
Posts: 8,881
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Thanks to you both. I'm glad you liked this.
__________________
My eldest son's bipolar website: www.bipolarmanifesto.com
-wally: Mom, you shouldn't play after me because it makes you sound even worse than you already do. -wally:*grumbles and whispers quietly* I guess it's cuz I love you or something, but you're still a TURD
Grimm:I could read your mind but its in font size .5
Amadeus:Oh, and was there a cesserole (never mind spelling) involved?
Paddy:the fact that you didn't end up on a kids show makes me question my atheism
Dyldo: You evil strumpet!
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