Deadly Glow

I'll fiddle you a lullaby
with a razor on your wrist
make you sleep in the cold
you'll have the best sleep in the world
until the lovers come
Feel the kiss of sharp cold steel!

I'll say to you a cold goodbye
as I watch you rot away
I love to see you fade.

I am tired of this purity
this sainctity, this divinity
it's time to make you mine
you'll love what I've in store for you
until you lose your mind
Feel the kiss of sharp cold steel!

I'll kiss you firmly on the lips
see to it that you burn
Deeply inhale the smoke.

I hate you, love you, hate you, love you.
I am below, and I'm above you.
I am inside and I'm outside you.
And you are mine, and I belong to you.

So come on here and feel the deadly glow....

This song is fairly old, way over a year old in fact, so that's why it doesn't really feel like it's mine, and I just finished it off and tweaked it. Not my usual gothy stuff hey?

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It had a good start, but it just didn't stick with it. The I hate you, love you part just didn't hit it lyrically with me. The rest wasn't bad for the type of piece it is, but it's definitely not your best.

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yeah meh.. i dunno.. its ok i suppose but not outstanding.
It does stimulate visually... which is good,
but its i dunno... the theming is a bit off.

sorry.i tried to be constructive

Every single piece of yours I've ever read screams EVANESCENCE! To me anyway, which is good if you're a fan of those kind of lyrics. But I don't like this particular style. I don't hate all emotional or meaningful lyrics though, take this from ROTTING CHRIST [great post black/thrash goth metal]:


Quintessence by Rotting Christ


Here stays enthroned the one that breathes the night
The blood ruler of great fights
Here stays enthroned the virgin of ten thousand sins
The virgin whose beauty dreams all light
She is the one that her love is lethal sweet
She is the one that owns the fate of clever fools
She is the one whose smile means your defeat

Behold her name the threefold breath
The veil under her eyes portends only death
Her breast is venomous, her kiss rebirths
Go further and further close to the death

Be wise to time, be strong to hold
Her pleasure for the gods, orison for the souls
Her joy is earth, the color of gold
Her absence is named cold

The lady from the end of all life
Her power is the world, her fear is the life
Behold thyself do not make her your wife
Your soul belongs to her, to her knife

Fear not her lethal eternal grip
Her loss does not make you weak, keeps you strict
A demon is for you, for you to keep
Her ecstasy on your feet

The one that breathes the night
Blood ruler of great fights
Virgin of thousand sins
Her beauty dims all light
She walks on semi-dead souls
Her love is lethal sweet
She owns the fate of clever fools
Her smile, your defeat

Ice in her eyes-soil in her soul
Hard in her heart-harm in her arm
Death in her breath-pain in her name
She is inside-deep in your life
Miss you side-take my harm
Breathe my heart-in your side
We are in her-we must now hide
She is inside-deep in your life

Behold her name the threefold breath
The veil under her eyes portends only death
Her breast is venomous, her kiss rebirths
Go further and further close to the death

Be wise to time, be strong to hold
Her pleasure for the gods, orison for the souls
Her joy is earth, the color of gold
Her absence is named cold

The one that breathes the night
Blood ruler of great fights
Virgin of thousand sins
Her beauty dims all light
She walks on semi-dead souls
Her love is lethal sweet
She owns the fate of clever fools
Her smile, your defeat.

Infinity, this is the second fucking time you told me my lyrics screamed Evanescence. And? Really, I don't listen to them nor have I ever read their lyrics, so I arrived at my style by myself. It's changing, and I haven't really shown any of the stuff I've written in the past 2 weeks, frankly because I'm dissatisfied with it, but when I'm sure it's perfect I'll show off something new. You didn't even comment on these and had to jump in and call me an Evanescence whore. K.

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Aww, She's upset! Quick, get the Sesame Street band-aids out and see if it makes her happy.

"Infinity, this is the second fucking time you told me my lyrics screamed Evanescence." - BC

And?

"And?" - BC

And, I just told you that I don't like them but it's great if someone is a fan of that genre. Didn't you get that the first time? I mean it's written right there. In my post. You see my post right?

"Really, I don't listen to them nor have I ever read their lyrics, so I arrived at my style by myself." - BC

Great! I hope you feel very proud of that - want an encouragement award? I think you are mistaking me for someone who cares.

"It's changing, and I haven't really shown any of the stuff I've written in the past 2 weeks, frankly because I'm dissatisfied with it, but when I'm sure it's perfect I'll show off something new. " - BC

Cool, hope it's different, it's never to late to change. You might post something I like!

"You didn't even comment on these and had to jump in and call me an Evanescence whore." - BC

Comment on what? This lyric you've written? Yeah, I said it reminds me of Evanescence. If you aren't talking about this, what the fuck are you talking about?

"K." - BC

K!

i liked it. are you pissed off at someone? or thought that would be a cool concept or what?

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I bet she's pissed off at someone now. I think the comment just got taken the wrong way myself. It was just a generalization to me. I couldn't tell you ifit sounded like Evanescense lyrics because after I hear one of their songs once I change the station when they come on. Obviously someone else has listened to them enough to make the comparison.

Fight nice.

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So you're saying that this particular lyric, which is about wanting someone dead, sounds like Evanescence? Um Fukk You...

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I really like the 3 line sections

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