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Old 2005-06-15, 01:16
bangbangx's Avatar
bangbangx
New Blood
 
Join Date: Jun 2005
Location: Take Her Down To The River
Posts: 18
The World Can Wait For Us

Oh tonight
I dont believe you want to go home
But their's ears in these walls
And they hear every word

Oh tonight
I don't want to spend it alone
As my bed has a mouth
And it'll swallow me whole

But tonight
We'll make it like we're on the run
Our own local Bonnie and Clyde
And no one, not no where
Can stop us

Oh the world can wait for us
Spinning like a bicycle wheel
We'll just be stationary
And so carefree
And careless enough
To never get caught
And if the world just cant wait
Then maybe I'll take a stand
And your father and your mother
Can see what a man I am

Oh tonight
I dare you not to ring home
To stay out under the street lights
To kiss me under the glow

Oh tonight
Will you tell them what we did
I hope you don't
As I'm afraid it all could go wrong

But tonight
We'll make it like we're on the run
Our own local Bonnie and Clyde
And no one, not no where
Can stop us

Oh the world can wait for us
Spinning like a bicycle wheel
We'll just be stationary
And so carefree
And careless enough
To never get caught
And if the world just cant wait
Then maybe I'll take a stand
And your father and your mother
Can see what a man I am

I'm no mere country boy
Just that no one knows my name
But my fame
Prevails me
Just a mere country boy
But you can make a man of me yet
But my fame
It still prevails me

But tonight
We'll make it like we're on the run
Our own local Bonnie and Clyde
And no one, not no where
Can stop us

Oh the world can wait for us
Spinning like a bicycle wheel
We'll just be stationary
And so carefree
And careless enough
To never get caught
And if the world just cant wait
Then maybe I'll take a stand
And your father and your mother
Can see what a man I am

Tonight
Oh tonight
 
Old 2005-06-15, 01:41
L,B'XXX's Avatar
L,B'XXX
dsnt trust ne1 < 30
 
Join Date: Jan 2003
Location: Home is where the <3 is
Posts: 8,881
Hey Andy! How's it going? This has got a nice flow going on. I think if you read through it you can tell where you might eliminate a few but's and and's that are pretty close together, but that's about the only gripe I have about it. It's got a nice fast pace to it.
__________________
My eldest son's bipolar website: www.bipolarmanifesto.com

-wally: Mom, you shouldn't play after me because it makes you sound even worse than you already do. -wally:*grumbles and whispers quietly* I guess it's cuz I love you or something, but you're still a TURD
Grimm:I could read your mind but its in font size .5
Amadeus:Oh, and was there a cesserole (never mind spelling) involved?
Paddy:the fact that you didn't end up on a kids show makes me question my atheism
Dyldo: You evil strumpet!

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