We went to an amusement park,
my family and I.
We rode on rides so scary,
I expected I would die.
We rode a roller coaster
called The Homicidal Comet.
It had so many loop-de-loops
it nearly made us vomit.

We rode The Crazed Tornado,
and it jerked us hard and quick.
If it were any longer,
we would certainly be sick.

We rode The Psycho Octopus,
which packed a nasty punch.
I think we're pretty lucky
that we didn't lose our lunch.

And last we rode repeatedly
The Flailing Tilt-a-Whirl.
It shook us all so sharply,
I'm surprised we didn't hurl.

I haven't felt that nauseous
since I can't remember when.
I'm really looking forward
to the day we go again.

That was wonderful! I read it to Denny and he liked it too! He said it sounds like you have a vomit fixation though. I guess he's forgotten what it's like to be on those things.
Hey, if you want the same effect get a middle ear infection like I had and you'll think you're back on them! Only without the seatbelts.

Excellent job on this one. Shel Silverstein would be proud of you.

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thanks for the input

I felt it was good, but the rhyme scheme made is seem too nursery rhymey.

It had really good flow however.

sorry it was the only thing i could think of.

You need to utilize those awesome guitar skills you have and come up with a song to go with this. A good intro with the air of an amusement park and then the first verse recited with minimal back ground music then a rippin' solo that shows the emotion and feelings of being on that ride and then repeat it for each of the other verses. It would be good for your interpretation skills.

If you could record it that would be awesome to have if you took pictures while you were there. Great memory type thing.

My friend has played piano and sung since we were little and she and I used to go through the phone book and pick out businesses or funny names and make up songs that would go with them.

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