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2005-06-10, 20:08
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Post-whore
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Join Date: Dec 2004
Location: Minnesota
Posts: 1,136
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"Lives On A String"
"Lives on a String"
by- Jacob Fitzlaff
Upon your pedestal built of lies,
I see your face as advertised.
You preached of peace,
But then brought war.
The body count stands as your reward.
Upon your throne built of greed,
I see you smile as you decieve.
You preached of peace,
But then brought war.
The body count is stacked for more.
Upon your pillar built of hype,
I can see the fruits of death are ripe,
You preached of peace,
But then brought war.
See the desert? The body count soars.
This isn't much, just something that came to me a few nights ago. Hopefully, I will start posting here more often.
__________________
Worker bees can leave,
Even drones can fly away.
The queen is their slave.
www.maddox.xmission.com
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2005-06-10, 20:15
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Muffin Ass
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Join Date: Feb 2005
Location: Sugar Britches
Posts: 2,340
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Good stuff.
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2005-06-10, 22:54
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dsnt trust ne1 < 30
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Join Date: Jan 2003
Location: Home is where the <3 is
Posts: 8,881
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You closet hippie, you. haha And I just told you to go write something in my thread. I'm good.
I liked this. It's got that old protest song vibe to it, but you barely eluded to what area it was about. I think you could get a chorus going in this and a break to add some diversity to it if it is song material. It's pretty darn good and I liked the way you utilized the similar lines. I'm not saying I agree with it, but it's well done.
Ever heard "Eve of Destruction" by Barry McGuire? That's one of my favorite protest songs. It's a classic.
Good to see you posting again.
__________________
My eldest son's bipolar website: www.bipolarmanifesto.com
-wally: Mom, you shouldn't play after me because it makes you sound even worse than you already do. -wally:*grumbles and whispers quietly* I guess it's cuz I love you or something, but you're still a TURD
Grimm:I could read your mind but its in font size .5
Amadeus:Oh, and was there a cesserole (never mind spelling) involved?
Paddy:the fact that you didn't end up on a kids show makes me question my atheism
Dyldo: You evil strumpet!
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2005-06-10, 23:59
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Post-whore
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Join Date: Aug 2004
Posts: 4,723
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Heh, I think it's pretty obvious it's about Bush and Iraq. I enjoyed it.
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2005-06-11, 00:06
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Post-whore
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Join Date: Dec 2004
Location: Minnesota
Posts: 1,136
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Ha. LB'XXX that makes you look old 
It was actually inspired by my friend's brother. He recently got drafted, and he's scared.
I'm glad to be posting here again. I had a dry spell 
__________________
Worker bees can leave,
Even drones can fly away.
The queen is their slave.
www.maddox.xmission.com
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2005-06-11, 00:11
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dsnt trust ne1 < 30
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Join Date: Jan 2003
Location: Home is where the <3 is
Posts: 8,881
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In the States? There's no draft here, is there? Are you sure someone isn't rattling you? It sure sounds like it unless he had a choice between military or jail. I've heard of that before, but it depends on the offense though.
We all have our dry spells. Glad you're getting out of it.
__________________
My eldest son's bipolar website: www.bipolarmanifesto.com
-wally: Mom, you shouldn't play after me because it makes you sound even worse than you already do. -wally:*grumbles and whispers quietly* I guess it's cuz I love you or something, but you're still a TURD
Grimm:I could read your mind but its in font size .5
Amadeus:Oh, and was there a cesserole (never mind spelling) involved?
Paddy:the fact that you didn't end up on a kids show makes me question my atheism
Dyldo: You evil strumpet!
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2005-06-11, 00:21
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Post-whore
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Join Date: Dec 2004
Location: Minnesota
Posts: 1,136
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His story, I might have took it wrong, but thats how it came off.
__________________
Worker bees can leave,
Even drones can fly away.
The queen is their slave.
www.maddox.xmission.com
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2005-06-11, 00:56
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dsnt trust ne1 < 30
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Join Date: Jan 2003
Location: Home is where the <3 is
Posts: 8,881
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Quote:
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Originally Posted by Tulvox
His story, I might have took it wrong, but thats how it came off.
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It's cool. I just figured there'd be a lot more squawking going on if the draft was issued again.
Keep writing where ever the inspiration comes from.
__________________
My eldest son's bipolar website: www.bipolarmanifesto.com
-wally: Mom, you shouldn't play after me because it makes you sound even worse than you already do. -wally:*grumbles and whispers quietly* I guess it's cuz I love you or something, but you're still a TURD
Grimm:I could read your mind but its in font size .5
Amadeus:Oh, and was there a cesserole (never mind spelling) involved?
Paddy:the fact that you didn't end up on a kids show makes me question my atheism
Dyldo: You evil strumpet!
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2005-06-12, 01:27
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Post-whore
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Join Date: Apr 2005
Location: nowhere,USA
Posts: 1,457
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cool
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