Haha yeah, the expression on that last woman's face was EPIC!

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MUST SEE http://www.yourscenesucks.com/

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I saw that thing a few years ago when their was just a few types of scenesters in the mix. Looks like it has been updated quite a bit obviously haha

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NO I WILL NOT TWEET THIS GET THE FUCK OUT

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Laddergoat - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ggB33d0BLcY

Safe for work porn - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HJLV...feature=related

Wtf - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TnIv...feature=related

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ROFL at last one..."are you work here??"

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1. boooooooring

2. SUPREME VLTRA LOLZZ!!!!!

3. what the ...?

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Laddergoat is awesome! That guys laugh cracks me up

This is funny/emotionally traumatizing: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hOSee41yxgc

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http://funnyjunk.com/funny_pictures...and+The+Harley/
http://funnyjunk.com/funny_pictures/143577/Gatling+Gun/
http://funnyjunk.com/funny_gifs/5309/Rapist+Bunny/

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must have been, because it was removed for terms of violation

lol

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This ninja cat video cracks me up: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=79dt...player_embedded

Although remember, if you see a real ninja.. it isn't one.

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http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7JVp4USiya0

Second episode of my friend's show, "Oslo." This is just the first part and the second should be up soon.

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asdf always makes me lol

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tKB4h9gvmm0

and this ninja cat is creepy as hell!

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Talk about creepy! Watch it til the end. http://www.yooouuutuuube.com/v/?row...Ock&startZoom=1

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WHAAAAAAAAAT THE FUUUUUUUUUUUCK???!?!!

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hahaha Wasn't that one of the freakiest things you've ever seen?

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http://static.funnyjunk.com/pictures/frankemo.jpg
http://static.funnyjunk.com/pictures/pluto01.jpg

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Paddy would love that Or is he still fighting for the rights of midgis?

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I'm never eating again: http://thisiswhyyourefat.com

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If you haven't seen already, something similar: http://www.cracked.com/video_18133_...ts-hate-us.html

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Yeah, that's where I got the link from. His videos are great.

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And just when I think the internet has nothing more to offer me, that I am cured from my chronic procrastination, I find a site like this that keeps the hope alive: http://sleeptalkinman.blogspot.com/

Basically, a women record's her husband's hilarious sleep chatter:

"Let me hold you in my arms. Feel me squeeze the living fucking breath out of your bastard body. Bliss. Lovely."

"Legs time! Everybody get your legs!"

"Your mum's at the door again. Bury me. Bury me deep."

"COCK HUNTER!"

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sleep talking man is such a good idea haha. I've heard some pretty weird shit from my friends talking in their sleep.

and why the hell is that death metal rooster on a porn site? not to say that the video wasn't br00tal!

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The real question is "Why was he looking on a porn site for that?"

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I always looked for music vids on porn sites . . . ....
Today is one of those days where I just can post stupid shit in forums. Of course most of the time I do but I really had to think of what I`m going to write...I just talk shit

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I don't believe it. I was just going to post the dm rooster that someone just sent me and you got it from a porn site? I just asked and that's where he got it, too.

u guys......

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I know exactly what you guyses means!!!!1! I'm always looking for interesting articles and the latest Baby GAP accessories on child porn sites, but people think there's something untoward about that. It's a research tool, in the same way that reading Wikipedia about Nazism doesn't make you a Nazi, and it just happens to work better when I have my pants pulled down and the curtains are drawn. My computer is temperamental like that!

!

Dunno if someone made one like this, so I did the honors.

http://hphotos-snc3.fbcdn.net/hs159...2_6195838_n.jpg

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OMG /b/ is sooo funny! I love shoutin "OVER 9000s!!!" to people on the straight who don't know and rrraaaggee they just think I'm sooo random while all my /b/est friends laugh.

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if this works for you, you will piss yourself

Attached Images

1264558811887.jpg (70.9 KB, 32 views)

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Am I missing something?

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HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA OMG

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not really hilarious, but pretty cool.

http://www.newgrounds.com/portal/view/525045

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shit, i used to play punkomatic 1 quite a bit. probably will waste a lot of time on this one


yeah damn, this one is so much more complex.

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Yeah, but I love it. Big problem when you do shows on it is that it lags and fucks up your playing, which ruins your score. Fucking douche bags.

I'm having lots of fun making songs on it. So much more freedom with this. I wish it had a few other things like temp changes and time signature options. Oh, and more blast beats.

Heehee, my "bands" name is Epic Cunt, and "we" have three songs; "Political Sodomy," "Fucking the Twat of Tyranny," and "Girls are Made for Penetrating." I kind of ripped off "Infernal Death." Forgive me, Chuck.

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Dunno if this was posted. Funny Batman parody.

http://funnyjunk.com/youtube/14373/...batman%20spoof/

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http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ffDPTKn7HiY
WHERE IS YOUR GOD NOW???????????

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I knew about this guy's first video, but I didn't know he turned into, like, an "Internet Phenomenon."

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=x9qeAXR5mH4

better interview; director's cut.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Vr3O...feature=related

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IN THIS VIDEO, MY GOOD MAN.

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Hahahahahahaha but sadly he describes exactly what I`m thinking these days

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Bah. Up here we don't look at a shovel before twenty inches. Fifteen inches and twenty celsius below, that's when my Finnish neighbors might consider taking in the laundry.

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Y'see, 15 to 20 inches of snow is something to freak out about, yet down here in st' louis, we got like 3 to 5 inches and everyone's going nuts at our store, buying all this shit like they won't be able to the next day. Fucking stupid.

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hehe Cleveland got voted the worst winter city. What the heck? Did Buff'ler fall in Lake Ontario or something? And what about Chicago? Geez, pick on us.

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HAHA! I found a new hobby. Making Rage pictures.

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Keep on with the work bro!

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This... is... awesome... hahaha!

http://www.stileproject.com/videos/...n-vacation.html

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Haha, damn, the silliness of it is killing me.

I'm really running a border case line of shouting "So damn typical!" here. I mean, all he provided was silence and then she spun a whole story in her own head; I've seen it myself a few times and it was pretty much exactly the same thing. The whole situation just popped out of nowhere. Why?

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lol what a dumb cunt

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Believe it or not, some couple was having their wedding on valentine's day. In World of Warcraft. being the assholes the WoW userbase is, we got together 40 people and ruined a very special day, twice.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1M-rEjW66ug

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God bless you, sir. Seriously.

What do they do for wedding photos? Do they just tap the Print Screen key every few seconds? And what about the fucking disco and buffet, does someone just hook their iPod up to their mic and start handing out the boar meat they harvested the night before? Do they have speeches? "Now, I know Bill won't mind me telling this story, but a few months ago when we were on a quest to retrieve dragon semen for a magic potion which would give us both 500 XP points instantly, when..." -- Whoops, just remembered life's too short.

I hope they both die of cancer. Actually, fuck that, we'd end up having to contend with a fucking WoW funeral. Hmmm, now that I think about it that might be worth watching. So it's decided - cancer all around!

You and your mates are awesome

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I wish I could tell what the fuck was going on.

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yeah, you probably won't unless you've played it for some considerable time.

@Paddy:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IHJVolaC8pw
Actual funeral on WoW. the video is much better than the one I made (understatement) and you will actually understand it.

I don't really know what happens in the "wedding," other than we fucked everyone up

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Yeah I only see colours moving.

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it looked like a bunch of elephants tripping on acid

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Fuuuuuuuuck you Sony and Warner!

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This is the win of all epic fails.

http://funnyjunk.com/youtube/23947/...e+Playing+LARP/

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http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=O7Fd...feature=related

Long but funny. you can kinda skip to different sections to speed it up.

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Not sure if this is serious or what. either way its funny

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definitely fake. has got to be fake. Either way, hilarious.

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Total fake but funny though

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http://94.23.42.229/pics/db4c2b5708d0.jpg
LOL

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HAHA FUCK! if thats real this kid is a pro. too bad it is most likely fake

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That kid is epic.

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http://img441.imageshack.us/img441/...70002572621.jpg
http://img37.imageshack.us/img37/1648/1270002508020.jpg
http://img169.imageshack.us/img169/...70001631187.jpg
Give me dabajabazaaaaaaaaa!

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I didn`t get the second one. Niggas are real that`s not funny at all

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http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=c9wPuJnz4iM Someone on youtube suggested this to me and I think you guys will appreciate it.

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Happy version of Raining Blood

Fucking classic, hahaha

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oh yea.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gjuw9IQH2_4

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http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=g1Zm...feature=related

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CjjX...feature=related

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GoyB...feature=related

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http://www.myspace.com/tacticsofattrition

Friend's band, Tactics of Attrition. Posted it in the "Post YOUR Band" thread, but no one looks at the bands subforum much anymore. Figure it may qualify here, depending on one's sense of humor. Wouldn't mind comments, seeing as how you all have good taste in music, so your opinions may have some value. I might be willing to throw down monopoly money, or an internet "Favor," if you will. I won't take my clothes though, it's not even my band and opinions are about as valuable as they entertaining and informative... that entertainment and information should be free, damnit! Sure, teachers and musicians need money, but we got the internet, bitch!

Serious constructive criticism and complements appreciated. Thanks, I'm just lookin' out for a few friends. "Snitchin" for em, if you will. You know how when you play a show, and you wanna ask people what they thought (Unless you bombed a godly performance and everyone charges you telling you how good it was) but you also don't, for fear of 'nagging' them away, as well as not getting honest answers (People that change their answers when confronted with the actual band that beforehand were saying they sucked)? What's the solution? Put a snitch in there! Haha!

Without any bias, I can say that they sound like your average high school metal band. The vocalist sounds very constrained also.

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Could you be more specific?

What direction should the vocalist take in making his voice sound better?

I wish I was high. Anyone see the new South Park?

More air and less throat. I'm not an expert on vocals. but he does sound like he's fucking himself up

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yes. I don't remember if I saw the whole thing... but it was funny as hell.

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Looked at some of the related videos.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wG6G...feature=related
I like this version 100X better than the original.

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So none of you guys like the band?

No, its pretty awful. Good thread to put it in, though.

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Now now now, here now, now listen... now...

If you were looking these 16-19 year old kids in the eye, and all they wanted was a chance.. what personal advice would you give them? C'mon, you guys are smart, well practiced, and very experienced. Don't say something funny like, "Stop playing music" or anything, seriously, some decent advice or pointers, can some of you guys give a little bit of that?

EDIT: By the way, the band admitted the vocals were shitty. They re-recorded them, and now they aren't as bad.

Sounds very Lamb of God like... which will leave a reader very skeptical of their claim of conceiving a new breed of metal. They are trending waters of a very gay genre of metal which is already flooded with hundreds of bands... Every player in this band has lot of practice to do. Practice with getting to know their instruments well alone, playing together, practice with song writing.

"With 30 years of combined playing experience, Tactics is derived from some of the most talented musicians in their area"

Really? 30 years combined playing experience? ..... I've been playing guitar for 4 years and I can't even play raining blood all the way through. A college student that takes 8 years to get an Associates Degree shouldn't exactly advertise "8 years college experience" on their resume... It's not too hard to notice that the skill levels individually expressed in this song aren't of any reall impressing value.

"Prepare yourself for a demonstration of true musical knowledge and talent."

I prepared, and was let down. Where should I use my preparation now?

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Yeah, I would probably tell them to not brag so much on their profile. Bragging in general is; not a good mentality to have. On a side note, it was their singer that made the myspace, and typed that. He was probably bragging for his fellow far-more talented musicians, which, has some merit, but he's fucking 15 (The youngest, therefore assumptive but not necessarily the most unwitting of the bunch. ).

Yeah, the "30 years total experience" is a bit lame. Like, 'oh hey, we're a band, here's our resume'. And they are not technical enough to label their classifying genre as such, unless they were, "Technical-ish Progressive Metal-coregasmo," or IDK these days do you even have to pay a guy to figure out which genre you fall into? There's gotta be like, some math involved somehow.

But, as a psychological observation, it appears they do not give a shit about their myspace. My evidence: They have pictures. HAVE EM. And they are too lazy to post them on their myspace. They are not live practice shots. Instead of having a 6th person planned out ahead of time to spend time with a band, which I did offer, a shitload of times, they took the pictures themselves.

But unwilling they are not, for they also claim to be very productive, and even mention once in a while that they have a lot of shit to do, such as: Practice for the talent show, which accommodates their first live performance in front of an actual audience. Another task is finishing various songs. The song on their myspace is apparently their first song which they have been working on for "Months." They have other songs, but what I know about that one song is that, almost entirely, it is written in D Harmonic Minor.

So, I forgot exactly where I was goin' with this, but when you say practice _____, what exactly should they keep in mind? I mean, I can play Raining Blood, it is easy. You WERE joking about 4 years and you can't play RB, right? It just, sorta sounds like a joke, or like you are admitting something as an example. Can't tell. Honest. But I think it's a joke.

Record it way better, especially the vocals I just listened to. I don't really like their sound in general, but it could just be of much better quality.

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Are you serious?

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Hey I haven't even tried to play Raining Blood, and I've been playing for 6 or 7 years. In fact, I'm gonna take a look at it.

Edit- Took a look at it. Looks interesting.

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They're not bad musicians from the sound of it, but they're not walking the walk of technical wizards who are writing some new, ground-breaking metal. Tell them to be honest and to not have their shit read like a resume.

As for critique on how to do what they're doing better: Shit, I don't know. How do you instruct someone to write better music? And why are you so concerned with them if you're not in the band? Forget them. You should start your own band instead of spending energy on these mediocre youngsters.

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I can play through it but sloppy as fuck, the average metal guitarist would laugh at me. I dont take guitar seriously; i dont have a specific practice routine that i go through or anything like that, i just try to play along to songs and write my own stuff for fun... I go weeks sometimes without even picking the thing up... So for me to tell someone i've been playing guitar for 4 years and then play them a shitty cover of RB, i'd show that i haven't took my playing too seriously over those 4 years.

That is my point... The band advertising 30 years of playing experience just shows that they are obviously not working on all of the right things while playing. They are decent at their instruments, but I wouldn't advertise that 30 years of playing unless it worked in their favor.

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I guess I'm trying a little too hard to earn the spot of this guy...

http://a229.ac-images.myspacecdn.co...ffb625ed48c.jpg

I've been offered by 2 or 3 people in bands that need bass-players, which is cool. I mean, I've been playing guitar and drums for 6 years, got a little carried away with nicotine and marijuana, and I probably won't turn my head to those anytime soon even though I am very aware that if I had never touched those things I would be a far superior musician to what I am now.

Having said that, I'm a decent guitarist/drummer. I can play Raining Blood all the way through except for the solo parts, which I am not even 100% that they are even played exactly the same every time. But having picked up the bass for a little "What to do" practice, I find myself unsure of my right hand technique. I plan on working my ass off, becoming a part of almost any band that I have time for, has time for me, ect., and try my hardest. Something about being in a band, it's just... extremely motivating.

I wish the, "Keep up the good work 2 hours a day, and some day join a band," saying in my head still worked motivation. Now, I use tobacco as a reward sensation, possibly one of the most expensive rewards there are!

Ah, to be a kid again.




...



But anyways, I was there when they did that recording (left before they did the vocals.) The recording: 2 mics, for the whole set. Drumset that is. With a 2input USB thinga-ma-jig.

Honestly, they are the core kids I'm always making fun of, when I'm: by myself, posting on the internet, particularly metaltabs.com *ahem*. But, after getting to know them, and still thinking they are KINDA... eh (*thinks of something to say that if they ever read this wouldn't be too harsh/not quite pampering enough*) well they are a bit fucking emo.

I was originally going to be their drummer, walked in, improvised out my ass, admitted I didn't have much practice (you can't fucking practice during the night, people sleep and my step dad goes out to work so I couldn't practice during the day because he sleeps after a long night at work, so I can barely fucking practice unless its just a stick and a pillow or my leg?) luckily now I have an E-set. Nothing's stopping me now! Except, not having a job and all A's in school plus necessary satisfactory's for my mom (house payer). I might even be lazy, and addicted to drugs: Marijuana and Nicotine. But I am getting my shit together, about as fast as a turtle.


*Forgets what I just typed and prepares to submit post*

Oh, and keep in mind, that band has no idea about this thread. I was going to show them eventually, but IDK, that would be an odd reaction. It's possible they would bitch like, "hey, you showed everyone our band publicly on Metaltabs when it was on Myspace," or something, but IDK, I just might point it out. I'm not even sure if I had a goal when showing you guys that band, other than getting general opinion.

I can't imagine what its like to struggle with a nicotine addiction. Must be unbearably tough.

Ditch the emo kids and stop trying to get our approval for a band you might want to join. Don't worry, if you join a shitty band we won't think any less of you. Stop talking about joining a band and go out and do it as you'll probably go through 3-4 before you find one you really mesh with so there's no time to waste.

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I read the first line of dystopia's post then realized that whatever he's saying isn't worth my time to read all that.

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Yes it is, read it!

Yep

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No way, guys! The dude's addicted to nicotine.. give him a break!

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I was very high when I brought that up.

Taiwanese boy doing a perfect rendition of "I Will Always Love You"... very wtf-y

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-3-p_4z6FiM