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2005-05-30, 03:17
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You gamma-minus fucktards
Forum Leader
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Join Date: Jul 2001
Location: Sydney.
Posts: 4,674
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Worst band lyrics ever
Well, this is nasty.
What do people *really* think of bands who take all the silly gore lyrics far past far too far?
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far_beyond_sane - contributing to the moral decay of your children since 1982
"It was some kind of evolutionary glitch, she figured; no different than the other unreasonable side effects of consciousness and emotion, like religion and rap music."
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2005-05-30, 03:42
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Post-whore
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Join Date: Oct 2004
Location: Liverpool, England.
Posts: 1,485
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"Hey Cunt, Let Me Paint A Fucking Bullseye On Your Fucking Face And Use
You As Target Practice For The Fucking Ejaculation Olympics"
 what a title.
Edit: After reading the lyrics I wonder whether that is a serious band....
Edit 2: Oh dear, that music is awful.
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That snatch is like a glove fit for God.
Last edited by SARS : 2005-05-30 at 03:46.
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2005-05-30, 03:51
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Post-whore
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Join Date: Mar 2004
Location: Portugal
Posts: 1,234
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they're so bad they eventually become funny because of all the "over-the-topness" in them.
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2005-05-30, 03:54
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Registered Sex Offender
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Join Date: Oct 2003
Location: La Follette
Posts: 2,400
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Nah, it's just comedy. No way they're (or he) is serious.
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"Is God willing to prevent evil, but not able? Then he is not omnipotent. Is he able, but not willing? Then he is malevolent. Is he both able, and willing? Then whence cometh evil? Is he neither able nor willing? Then why call him God?" - Epicurus
“I'm as firm as red clay and as constant as... drinkin'. I'm constantly drinkin'.” - Early Cuyler
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2005-05-30, 04:04
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Lo, they do call to me...
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Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: virginia beach, VA
Posts: 2,209
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thats beyond being funny, they well crossed over the line of sheer stupidity, half the lyrics are just words put together that no actual meaning.
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Too grim to function
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2005-05-30, 04:13
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Post-whore
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Join Date: Jan 2005
Location: Alabama
Posts: 1,942
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"Don't cunt my meathammer with your twatgravy"
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2005-05-30, 04:15
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Post-whore
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Join Date: Oct 2004
Location: Land of Dust
Posts: 3,551
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Quote:
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Originally Posted by MoonRaven
thats beyond being funny, they well crossed over the line of sheer stupidity, half the lyrics are just words put together that no actual meaning.
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Haven't any of you ever listened to Cattle Decapitation's song "Tripas de Pepe, you Fucking Pendejos"? I remember when they played that when I saw them live just before Behemoth and Suffocation.
The title is Spanish for "Pepe's guts, you fucking(already in English) "pubic hairs"". Pubic hair being a common insult in Spanish. Hilarious nonsense, I say. |
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2005-05-30, 04:22
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Senior Metalhead
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Join Date: Jul 2004
Location: Vic, Aus
Posts: 240
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There's the obvious Anal Cunt, their lyrics are so unbelievably bad!!
... but the unbelievable badness makes me laugh, therefore they rule.
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... Flamage ...
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2005-05-30, 05:39
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Post-whore
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Join Date: May 2004
Location: Chicago
Posts: 1,718
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I fucking love porno/goregrind. Creamface is one of the best.
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2005-05-30, 06:55
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The Stings of Conscience
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Join Date: May 2004
Location: Lutz, FL
Posts: 2,245
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I used to think Cannibal Corpse took it a little far sometimes... Their lyrics seem like children's bedtime stories compared to this.
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2005-05-30, 11:24
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You gamma-minus fucktards
Forum Leader
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Join Date: Jul 2001
Location: Sydney.
Posts: 4,674
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Your Hacked Up Cockmeat Resembles Your Semen Slurping Grandfathers Overly Fucked Mouth
It's nice when fucking whores get leprosy and I have to chop their
Pussies into little pieces of hamburger that my lesbian poodle stuffs in her cock portal
Your corpse looks fucking twatty and cuntalicious when you got faggots to
Bleed their goo trunks with razors filled with tampons and pictures of
Gays being slaughtered at the million faggot march
Eat my crotch frost and then bounce on my penile eruptions
In the middle of a dykes unshaven cunt party.
...and I loooooooooooooooo-ve youuuuuuuuuu.
__________________
far_beyond_sane - contributing to the moral decay of your children since 1982
"It was some kind of evolutionary glitch, she figured; no different than the other unreasonable side effects of consciousness and emotion, like religion and rap music."
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2005-05-30, 14:26
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Senior Metalhead
Banned
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Join Date: Jul 2004
Posts: 137
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I said I wrote a poem and read those lyrics to my grandmother. She started head banging. Fucking nazi.
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2005-05-30, 14:29
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HES BAAACK
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Join Date: Apr 2004
Location: slaying all the giants
Posts: 9,967
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Quote:
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Originally Posted by Soeru
Haven't any of you ever listened to Cattle Decapitation's song "Tripas de Pepe, you Fucking Pendejos"? I remember when they played that when I saw them live just before Behemoth and Suffocation.
The title is Spanish for "Pepe's guts, you fucking(already in English) "pubic hairs"". Pubic hair being a common insult in Spanish. Hilarious nonsense, I say.
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i saw them play that song. why do the speak spanish, because they live in cali? anyways, they suck.
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www.myspace.com/crownedmusic
http://i79.photobucket.com/albums/j136/transient_shirts/Banner.gif
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2005-05-30, 14:36
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Pokémon Master
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Join Date: Jul 2003
Location: Some grim and utterly pointless evil location(Aus)
Posts: 3,740
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do you search specificaly for obscure shit, fbs?
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"Press Ctrl+w to enter: The realm of Power Metal!" - a promise from johnmansley
Tonight on CSI: Blashyrkh -
(\_/)
(x.x) (> <)
Somebody has decapitated an innocent rabbit, can Abbath solve this crime before more innocent bunnies are hurt?
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2005-05-30, 14:48
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You gamma-minus fucktards
Forum Leader
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Join Date: Jul 2001
Location: Sydney.
Posts: 4,674
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Quote:
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Originally Posted by BeastOfCarrion
do you search specificaly for obscure shit, fbs?
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I do not search for obscurity. Instead, it finds me.
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far_beyond_sane - contributing to the moral decay of your children since 1982
"It was some kind of evolutionary glitch, she figured; no different than the other unreasonable side effects of consciousness and emotion, like religion and rap music."
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2005-05-30, 15:59
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STUFFED ANIMAL ORGY
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Join Date: Jul 2003
Location: Chicago
Posts: 8,705
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I have to go with Dream Evil..
__________________
"Believe the word
I will unlock my door
And pass the cemetery gates"
"Dimebag" Darrell Lance Abbott
08/20/66 - 12/08/04
R.I.P. |
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2005-05-30, 16:10
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Post-whore
Banned
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Join Date: Dec 2004
Location: Massachusetts
Posts: 1,318
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...or Manowar...
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2005-05-30, 19:25
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Attorney at Bird Law
Forum Leader
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Join Date: May 2002
Location: Alone here, with emptiness, eagles, and snow...
Posts: 3,567
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Anything written by Chris Barnes is worse than this because people actually take it seriously. I mean, people actually quote Barnes as a good lyricist, which, in my opinion, automatically makes him worse than this guy who nobody will ever hear.
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Trust in god, he'll give you shoes!
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2005-05-30, 19:29
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Registered Sex Offender
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Join Date: Oct 2003
Location: La Follette
Posts: 2,400
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I don't know, I saw many ladies on the website and I don't know too many female gore metal fans. But that's probably his entire fan base or he probably paid them to wear his merch and show their tits and ass. Not bad by the way. 
__________________
"Is God willing to prevent evil, but not able? Then he is not omnipotent. Is he able, but not willing? Then he is malevolent. Is he both able, and willing? Then whence cometh evil? Is he neither able nor willing? Then why call him God?" - Epicurus
“I'm as firm as red clay and as constant as... drinkin'. I'm constantly drinkin'.” - Early Cuyler
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2005-05-30, 19:47
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Post-whore
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Join Date: Aug 2004
Location: Los Angeles, CA
Posts: 1,865
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Jerking Off With A Belt Sander
Faggots use porno flicks
when they buy dinner for other spermcatchers
in the middle of a pigs stretched out foreskin.
I didn't like nude Mexicans trying to slurp my flesh pile
of toddler tits so I stabfucked a fat twatty whore
and made a log cabin out of mule cum
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Quote:
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Originally Posted by Paddy
Sex is free if you don't mind spending most of your night in the bushes with both a balaclava and an overblown sense of entitlement.
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2005-05-30, 20:31
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Supreme Metalhead
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Join Date: Jan 2005
Location: Behind you! Boo!
Posts: 878
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Quote:
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Originally Posted by MyOwnSavior
I don't know, I saw many ladies on the website and I don't know too many female gore metal fans. But that's probably his entire fan base or he probably paid them to wear his merch and show their tits and ass. Not bad by the way. |
Yeah, but I doubt the composer of this pre-pubescent juvenile speaker dribble has actually got it on with a real woman!  |
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2005-05-30, 22:41
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Death to all but metal!
Forum Leader
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Join Date: Mar 2004
Location: Highway to the Danger Zone
Posts: 6,026
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Quote:
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Originally Posted by Ten Ton Alien
they're so bad they eventually become funny because of all the "over-the-topness" in them.
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Indeed
Quote:
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Originally Posted by MyOwnSavior
Nah, it's just comedy. No way they're (or he) is serious.
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That has to be it.
These are a bit over the top too, but not as strange as what fbs posted...
http://www.darklyrics.com/lyrics/devourment/138.html#1
It just becomes funny after a while. ESPECIALLY after hearing the Devourment vocalist 
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Quote:
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Originally Posted by Amadeus
"Ja mein little poodle, I will hang you by your nipples in my garage,
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2005-05-30, 23:29
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Muffin Ass
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Join Date: Feb 2005
Location: Sugar Britches
Posts: 2,340
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Meat Shits - album: "Ecstasy Of Death" (1993)
Surgically Removed Vagina
My bizarre collection is not yet complete
I need more piss flaps -
Time to take a night on the town now
I need more piss flaps -
Finding a slut alone picking her up
I need more piss flaps -
Killing the fucking bitch behind her back
I need more piss flaps -
First I cut off your piss flaps
And then I lick up the bloody sap
Dissect the vulva it is so cool...
Makes me so excited I shit out a stool
Excrement Infection Of The Male Urethra
Another night of sodomy
My girl her ass is so tight
Now I plug her rear...
But she forgot to shit
Exchanging semen with excrement
As I continue to fuck her ass
When I am done I need to piss
Her face will do color is dark brown
I knew I should have bathed
Urethra infected by her stools!
First Blow-Job
You are only a teen
And still a virgin
But your pussy burns
As my erection rises
Sucking my dick rapidly
Swallowing every drop
You catch on very quickly
A slut born and bred
Poor Feminine Hygiene
Clean that smelly pussy
Use a douche ... bitch!
There are 55 tracks on their album...these are only a few
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2005-05-30, 23:38
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Supreme Metalhead
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Join Date: Feb 2005
Location: Where the slime live...
Posts: 868
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That was just ridiculous. Way overdone silliness.
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2005-05-30, 23:45
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My Ass, Your Face
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Join Date: Jan 2005
Location: Michigan
Posts: 2,557
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These lyircs are entertaining.
__________________
A little section of Requiem's "I finally got laid" posts.
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Originally Posted by Requiem
Wore her out before I could finish(which im grateful for)
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Funeral Mulch; My brutal death metal band from West Michigan. |
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2005-05-31, 07:01
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Post-whore
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Join Date: May 2004
Location: Chicago
Posts: 1,718
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Quote:
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Originally Posted by Bia
Meat Shits - album: "Ecstasy Of Death" (1993)
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I've always loved the lyrics to "Bow To The Penis God." Fucking funny. |
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2005-05-31, 13:57
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Post-whore
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Join Date: Nov 2002
Location: Corona, California
Posts: 1,824
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hey SCUM BITCH are cool guys.. Awesome dudes who were signed by the label im signed to. And for the mofo representing Meat Shits, you rule bro. Rob, jason, and ISmael are my homies. 
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I suck at guitar.
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2005-05-31, 13:59
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Post-whore
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Join Date: Nov 2002
Location: Corona, California
Posts: 1,824
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Quote:
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Originally Posted by MetalThrashingMad
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why does everyone post Devourment lyrics in threads about lyrics, so stupid. They are a cool band, but now they're just too overated by punks who are trying to be super-cool brutal guys.
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I suck at guitar.
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2005-06-03, 01:43
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Post-whore
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Join Date: Jul 2004
Location: Toronto
Posts: 1,280
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Why is everyone radding on the gore/porn lyrics? I mean I think it is worse for bands to write silly shit and take it seriously. I mean all these guys are just goofing around. It's like Family Guy (One of my favourite TV shows). The humor is so stupid and random but it still kicks ass. Same with these types of lyrics they are just so stupid it's funny. But it's a plus for these bands not to take themselves too seriously. I'm talking Manowar or Rhapsody here. Two bands who write pure dungeons and dragons lyrics and take it seriously! What the hell? I mean that song Warriors of the World has to be the worst song in recorded history. Look at those lyrics!
Let's take them apart shall we?
Here our soldiers stand from all around the world
Waiting in a line to hear the battle cry
(OK what is that mean? Besides that is one big line)
All are gathered here, victory is near
(We have not even started fighting! How is victory near?)
The sound will fill the hall, bringing power to us all
(Wait a second how can a group of soldiers from all around the world fit in a hall?)
We alone are fighting for metal that is true
We own the right to live the fight, we're here for all of you
(Uhh I don't want you here)
Now swear the blood upon your steel will never dry
(Wait a second I thought we were fighting with metal music? Who the hell are we going to fight?)
Stand and fight together beneath the battle sky
[Chorus:]
Brothers everywhere - raise your hands into the air
We're warriors, warriors of the world
Like thunder from the sky - sworn to fight and die
(What the hell does that mean?)
We're warriors, warriors of the world
Many stand against us, but they will never win
We said we would return and here we are again
(Hold on I thought everyone around the world JUST got together. Why are we back? Did we loose the first time?)
To bring them all destruction, suffering and pain
(Well if this is round two then we are about to get our asses kicked)
We are the hammer of the gods, we are thunder, wind and rain.
( I thought we were "warriors" and when is The hammer of the gods in an element?)
There they wait in fear with swords in feeble hands
With dreams to be a king, first one should be a man
(Well duh! There is a thing called a prince)
I call about and charge them all with a life that is a lie
(OK SERIOUSLY WHAT DOES THAT MEAN!)
And in their final hour they shall confess before they die
(Confess? Confess what?)
[Repeat chorus]
If I should fall in battle, my brothers who fight by my side
Gather my horse and weapons, tell my family how I died
Until then I will be strong, I will fight for all that is real
All who stand in my way will die by steel
(First off I thought you were dead. Second what is all that is real? I thought we were fighting for metal that is true)
Brothers everywhere - raise your hands into the air
We're warriors, warriors of the world
(Well we are warriors-you're dead)
[Repeat chorus to fade]
I know I took way too much time on this but I was bored.
__________________
"I miss the days when it was acceptable to listen to everything."
-Chuck Schuldiner (R.I.P)
Truer words were never spoken.
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2005-06-04, 09:17
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Pokémon Master
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Join Date: Jul 2003
Location: Some grim and utterly pointless evil location(Aus)
Posts: 3,740
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Maybe its FANTASTY just like your porn/gore lyrics. But in this case its regular fantasy not fantasy for the sake of being offensive.
__________________
"Press Ctrl+w to enter: The realm of Power Metal!" - a promise from johnmansley
Tonight on CSI: Blashyrkh -
(\_/)
(x.x) (> <)
Somebody has decapitated an innocent rabbit, can Abbath solve this crime before more innocent bunnies are hurt?
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2005-06-04, 13:18
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You gamma-minus fucktards
Forum Leader
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Join Date: Jul 2001
Location: Sydney.
Posts: 4,674
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Quote:
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Originally Posted by Casketcrusher
Let's take them apart shall we?
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Either you can't understand a simple metaphor, or you're about as funny as a pile of grey things. Choose.
__________________
far_beyond_sane - contributing to the moral decay of your children since 1982
"It was some kind of evolutionary glitch, she figured; no different than the other unreasonable side effects of consciousness and emotion, like religion and rap music."
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2005-06-04, 13:47
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Life is pain.
Banned
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Join Date: Jun 2004
Location: Australia
Posts: 4,510
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For some reason I just imagined a pile of grey things and then laughed out loud, I guess a pile of grey things is actually pretty funny...
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