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Old 2005-05-28, 14:42
bloodredthrone
Senior Metalhead
Banned
 
Join Date: Jul 2004
Posts: 137
Fuck you and don't come around anymore

Every time, I hear your whiney voice
A thousand shards pierce my brain
Driving me closer to killing you
I don’t care that you’re sad
I don’t care about your girlfriend
I don’t care about you at all
So fuck you and don’t come around anymore

You thought it’d be cool to tell your stories
Pathetic triumphs in the art of futility
I care not for your victories
Or that you think you’re cool
I don’t want a high five
Just so you can tell another tall tale
So fuck you and don’t come around anymore.

What about you who can dish it out
But can’t take a stick or a stone
What about you the king of lies,
Whose idiocy amplifies my rage
I’ll smash your face and laugh at the blood
Because it’s all I can do to keep from killing you
So fuck you and don’t come around anymore

You thought we were friends?
You were a tool, I used you, and now I abuse you
You thought I kept your secrets?
Every one in every town knows about your fallacies
So fuck you, fuck you, and fuck you some more
So fuck you and don’t come around anymore
 
Old 2005-05-28, 14:50
Infinity's Avatar
Infinity
Life is pain.
Banned
 
Join Date: Jun 2004
Location: Australia
Posts: 4,510
lol
 
Old 2005-05-28, 15:19
Def's Avatar
Def
Master Killer
Alumni Staff
 
Join Date: Feb 2002
Location: Utrecht, The Netherlands
Posts: 11,372
someone's having a grudge
 
Old 2005-05-29, 11:12
BrokenCrimson's Avatar
BrokenCrimson
Post-whore
 
Join Date: Jun 2004
Location: Brisbane, Australia.
Posts: 1,023
I thought we were talking about breakfast buritos, not breakfast angst.
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I <3 12 year olds.
 
Old 2005-05-29, 11:28
L,B'XXX's Avatar
L,B'XXX
dsnt trust ne1 < 30
 
Join Date: Jan 2003
Location: Home is where the <3 is
Posts: 8,881
Ooo, someone isn't a happy camper. There's only one word I dont' like and maybe it's personal preference but I'd change "shards" to splinters of glass. Shards sounds like larger pieces of a window, but to me, splinters sound like fragments that are everywhere and extrememly hard to remove or avoid.

I'm not real keen on using 'bad words' in pieces, but there's exceptions. This was one. And it could be taken seriously or humorously so that's a big plus. Good flow and wording. I loved the way you ended it too. Fed up and sputtering mad.
Nice one.
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My eldest son's bipolar website: www.bipolarmanifesto.com

-wally: Mom, you shouldn't play after me because it makes you sound even worse than you already do. -wally:*grumbles and whispers quietly* I guess it's cuz I love you or something, but you're still a TURD
Grimm:I could read your mind but its in font size .5
Amadeus:Oh, and was there a cesserole (never mind spelling) involved?
Paddy:the fact that you didn't end up on a kids show makes me question my atheism
Dyldo: You evil strumpet!

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