I've been listening to Dark Funeral.....

My Darkness Divinity

Waken from night in a tremor so cold
Dark as pitch where nightmares live
Still dazed from the winter frosen
Rose, laying peacfully beside me

Ticking with ease slowing burning
Risen, from the dawn until departure
Opened the blinds to let in the dim sun
Breathing an inferno towards the light

I love how the sun embraces rose,
She is very red, covered in horror
In time, as the bleak smells dries
I will be the devil of her dreams

The strength of beast is my flowing hate
Though I feel dead, my hate shows real
In the insanity of early night and blessed fire
I soared high among the rain clouds

I feel the flesh of the storm still in me
Behold the rage of beast glowing red
So eerie with venom blanketed with hate
Event of fate this was, as will my end
In time.

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Is Rose a person's name? I'd like to see it capitalized throughout if it is. Just a little thing, but it would solidify if rose is a what or a whom. It had some good imagery in it that was very dark, but there's something missing. I can't quite place it. It just seems to stay on the same keel when it should have a little build-up somewhere. I read this when you first posted it and left it for a time and came back and I still get the same feeling from it.
Is this a new band song? Maybe the music would do something.

I keep reading the title as Dark Divinity and I think of chocolate meringue candy. It makes me crave chocolate!!!! lol only me.....

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Hmm, that is somewhat necro, but not black metal necro. It's very doomish, maybe even goth metalish.

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The center of the poem is rose, a metaphore; Rose the person, and rose the beautiful flower colored red. Red, because she is dead, and covered in....well blood. It wasn't intended for a black metal song either, ,.... I always thought black metal lyrics were about darkness and evil, rather than killing a chick and waking up to her smell.....

Incidently, from this band I joined, we're going to try to combine the best of both worlds. These guys want gore, and I'm good at fantasy, so the result is something like this.....

and another thing, lbxxx, I think you may be right. It doesn't really get good until the last 2 stanzas.

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My first image thinking of gore, fantasy, and roses was dried blood peeling like petals off shrinking skin. Maybe something that gives some detail to an idea like that and shows a bit more action would add to it. Like with each breath you take inhaling and exhaling the blood cracks and lifts from her skin and then elaborate on the feelings or what you do with the peels. I'm scaring myself! Whoo! lol ewwy

That's great that you and your band have a compromise. That's a good combination. With your fantasy mind the gore part shouldn't be run of the mill and boring.

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